What to with my family
By ladylily29
@ladylily29 (323)
United States
February 4, 2007 9:42am CST
I have problem where I live and I don't dare to move cause I love my home and have worked hard on making it as it is.But I have cousins who live up the road from me, and al the time I hear police is at thier house over domestic problems.My cousin married a woman years ago I thought to be a good person, I am not so sure now. She is now a drinker, beer in her hand 90% of the time and poppinf dr. prescribed pills all the time as well.She has embarrassed alot of the older family, they don't want to even say we are kin. She also used to be my best friend until she got so bad and I had to stop going to visit, it was alway one sided, I went to her, I helped her, but I never recieved any thing in return, not even a thank you. So I finally stopped.And then her oldest girl, who has 3 kids, has been doing drugs and lies and parties and drinks, and now they are tighter than tight,due to the drug use.They go and buy drugs from sellers and so on together now.I have found all this out due to the fact they can't be secretive at all.It is the talk of the hollar in which we all live. How do they ever get the help they need? How do I let my oldest(14 yr.) go spend nights with the moms girl who is 13,and not worry something is going wrong.And I can't stand it when the 13 yr comes to spend the night cause I never know when the mom will show up and dump the baby of 2 years off for us top keep as well.No one dares to call in for help for them due to family being stuck in the middle of things, and things would be violent.What to do, what not do?
3 people like this
8 responses
@ginagee (843)
•
5 Feb 07
It's a very difficult problem to solve but one thing I would suggest and that is not to let your daughter stay in that house, that is the most important thing. She will be seeing stuff going on that she shouldn't see. She could be there when something bad happens and will get caught up in it. She should not be around these type of people. Get your daughter away from them, whether she likes your decision or not just do it. As for the rest of the problem it is far too complicated for one person to solve.
@mikekire (146)
• Nigeria
5 Feb 07
Sorry for this troublem in your family but i want you to know that all hope is not lost. you shouldn't have stopped visiting. You could still give a helping hand by telling her the evil of those things she indulges in. You can also suggest getting a counselling for her. She needs help and i want you know that she is not enjoying the habit she has found herself in only that she cannot get herself out of it. She needs help and you could give that help.
Again, if you have faith in God, why not pray.
@philipwu51 (684)
• China
5 Feb 07
this is really a difficulty situation.
in china, there is a saying: even the smartest official cant solve the family problem.
I think I cant help you, I wish you could handle it.
have a good day.
@yogiraut (230)
• India
5 Feb 07
this is really A BIG PROBLEM. And there is no short solution to it.First of all U need to put these people in to rehabilitation centre's. And THen putting thing one by one in order.U will need tremendous amount of will power to do it.I SHALL PRAY TO GOD FOR THINGS TO IMPROVE.
@aquaspices (164)
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
hi lily,
u must be pretty concerned with them. must be hard on ur part seeing people who are dear to you slowly slip away from the happy life they used to have..
there are social workers in your community who can help you out. it would take initial interviews, couple of home visits, planning and interverntions to help this people out.
and of course, your help counts on the success of this too..it may not be easy, but after all the troubles, you can say to urself, ur a fighter and you'd become proud of yourself for stepping up and correcting some mistakes, for the benefit of your relatives and for your peace of mind
:-)
God bless
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
5 Feb 07
thats tough...im too are confused with your situation.. you cant even go to a police for that matter coz theyre your cousin...and have children too...i think you must guide first your children not to immitate whats theyve seen on their relatives..open their eyes so that in the near future they wont follow their footsteps..and as for their children you have to at least take care of them and show love whenever theyre at your house...as for the cousins...try giving them some advice first ..if they dont listen..then let God or time made them changed...pray for them to be enlighten thats what you can do atleast...
@payingforschool (678)
• Canada
5 Feb 07
If you reported thm to social services every time you saw a problme, I wonder if it would spur social service to do anything about it? Like - every time they leave the 2 year old with you - every time you see the mother high ... call them again. I also think I would not have my daughter go there at all, because it's clearly not safe. My heart aches for that baby:( Sounds like it would be a good thing if social services took the baby away (and I don't say that lightly)
