How to be assertive to people without being rude ?

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I've sometimes felt that it is very important for people to be assertive but the problem is once people start in that direction, they tend to become more rude than anything else. Being assertive is so important in one's personal life as well as professional.At home if you are parenting kids then being assertive will save the kids from going into the wrong direction and will implant in them the confidence to judge right or wrong in future, if you try to make kids to do something that they dont like and that you know is very important for them, then casually saying wont help, people especially children tend to become complacent and take things lightly...you need to be assertive.There are umpteen situations on the professional front where you need to be assertive without being rude...please let me know "Your Way" of being assertive without being rude.