Let's Have some fun in a Bihari way.... No offence

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You'll Forget your english by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the "Indian Cow:"Indian Cow HE IS THE INDIAN COW. "The cow is successful animal. Also he is 4 footed. And because he is female, he give milk,[but will do so when he is got child]. He is same like-God, Sacred to hindus, and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and Two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from the 4 taps attached to his basement.[horse don't have any such attachement]. What can it do? Various ghee, butter cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. And also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his other motion...gober is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes[like pizzas], in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then after wards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of his mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defensing organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapon to be paralleled to the ground of earth and instantly proceeds with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the cow.... We are informed that the candidate passed the exam and is now a officer, is bihar in somewhere...[Sorry, Somewhere in Bihar]