Not having kids is okay too...
By Script
@Script (592)
Australia
February 5, 2007 10:57pm CST
A conversation I had recently with a woman, I now call Funny Chick, at a party;
Funny Chick: (taking a long sip of wine) So, do you have kids?
Me: (also taking a long sip of wine in hopes of passing out immediately so as to avoid answering the question...waiting...not enough alcohol to become unconcious...sigh and answer) No. (braces self and waits for the inevitable gushing about motherhood that includes the words 'amazing' and 'miracle' and 'don't know what you're missing')
FC: I have three. (she takes another gulp of wine) It's not all that great really.
Me: (shocked and delighted) Really?
FC: Really. You always hear these moms saying how amazing it is to have kids and what a magical experience it is. (she grimaces) Honestly? It's a pain in the butt.
Me: (too shocked, and delighted, to speak)
FC: I mean, I'm not saying I don't love my kids because I do. They're amazing and wonderful and I wouldn't trade them for the world... but I spend all day with them. (finishes off the wine) You try spending 24 hours a day with a bunch of noodle-heads and see how much you like it.
Me: I think I love you.
FC: (grins) Hey, if you think I'm going to pounce on you and tell you you just have to have kids, you can relax. I'm not like them.
Me: Maybe there's hope that I could actually have a friendship with a mum.
FC: I'd love a friendship, but you would hate it. You'd have to come over and be around the kids the entire time. (she sighs) I mean, if you want to subject yourself to that kind of thing, I'm all for it. But if I can barely stand it, what makes you think YOU can? Trust me - mums and non-mums just don't mix and there's a good reason for that. Hey, do you want to go out to the backyard? I have a little weed I need to smoke before we go home. My husband and I take turns getting high once every couple of months... it almost makes life bearable.
Me: Did I mention that I love you?
5 people like this
7 responses
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
6 Feb 07
I am a mother of three, I can be brutally honest when I say that raising children is not the heaven that mothers speak of, that most of the time a mother is in a state of constant worry, stress, confusion and always questioning her ablity to be a good mother. We talk about and glorify the finer points of motherhood because that is what gets us through. Its the little "i love you mommy's" that allow us to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
There are some women that are not meant to be mothers. I have a neice that had four children and the state of florida ended up taking each and everyone of them in respective turns. She is unashamed of this as she never wanted them in in the first place. She is a wonderful woman if you discount that she was not a "MOTHER". Her children have adopted families and are so much better off.
I have a couple of married non parent friendships which I adore. It is so nice to actually go visiting and be able to have an adult conversation with out continually entertaining children. Not having children is a personal private decision and takes strength to defend. I admire those women who know thier own minds and are strong enough not to let peers push them into a life they do not want.
But on the same hand please forgive us mommies that have to tell you what little Johnny did in school that was just to precious... we know not what we do, nor can we help ourselves.
2 people like this
@hsmom2boys (134)
• United States
5 Apr 07
As a mom, I can say, I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything. But there are times when I'd like to sell them to a band of roming gypsies! lol Having kids isn't for everyone and I respect the people that know who they are. I also respect those people who know how many kids is their limit. I have two boys, people always ask if we're going to try for a girl. I tell them there is no way on earth I'd have another kid! I love my boys, but two kids is enough for me. There are times when I think it'd be nice to maybe adopt an older child, but finances aren't right for that. So we are happy in our decision to stick with only 2 kids and I'm happy with anyone who knows their limits when it comes to kids.
1 person likes this
@superchook (1786)
• Australia
6 Feb 07
I have four children, but I also understand that not everyone wants children. I had a friend that didn't like children, she used to call them things. If I invited her around, I would invite her over after the kids had gone to bed. If she wanted to come around before then, then she knew that my kids would be up and that was her decision.
1 person likes this
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I cannot have kids but I had decided even before I found that out,i didn't want any.The main reason being I did not want to bring a child up in this world but I also decided that because I like my freedom.Women are shouldered with too much of the responsibility of child rearing and let me tell you,if i did have baby-you can bet your booties he would be sharing child rearing duties!
Anyway, I really get ticked off with the reactions I get when I tell people I don't want kids.They act like I just told them I had leporisy or aids or something. Why can't they just accept my decision without being so judgemental!
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
17 Jun 07
*laughs* I have no kids myself and in fact I have to say I could play with kids for a little bit but not all the time. I think it's really a unbearable responsibility for me and I wouldn't plan to have kids in my lifetime (unless something tragic happens). I just don't like to deal with hassles and life has too many hassles to deal with already. Oh, and I don't like getting out of my shape just because I am pregnant and give birth, it's just unfair. I guess the most important thing is, I can't stand adult sometimes too not to mention kids and I enjoy absolute quietness, getting wild and free. How could I even think about that if I were a mom!
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
16 Jun 07
That is so refreshing! I have kids and I used to be suuuuch a snob. I realised one day nearly all of my friends were childless and single. This was back when it was just the one child. I couldn't even consider spending time with people with a load of kids. I did the Gymboree and baby and Me swimming and so forth, but other than my god daughter and nephew, I kept people with kids to a minimum because my wn drove me crazy enough as it was. Now that I have mutiple children, all my friends that are childless have moved to the ther side of the world to escape us.
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
6 Feb 07
I have known the women that once they hear you don't have kids seem to stalk and then pounce on you to go over the joys of pregnancy and having a child. How it is something you must do in order to be complete and how it's an incredible thing for a woman to do...yadda yadda yadda. It might be true but I don't want to hear it. I don't need them to tell me about what I'm missing. If and when it might happen I'll find out for myself. If it never happens then fine it doesn't, I don't need someone trying to push me towards getting pregnant nor do I really need to feel like I'm being a horrible woman or missing out on anything just because I don't have kids. Let alone if I was one of the many women who cannot have kids for some reason. Having a woman expound the joys of children has to really tear in to them. Sometimes less is more and going on and on at people is not a good thing.
1 person likes this
