effects of drug abuse and alcohlism on body and soul!

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i feel the repercussions of my wild lifestyle now . with being an alcoholic for 4 years, it has sucked all the confidence in me, given all the fear n anxiety it cud, and has created a negative field around me i.e a negative aura, which makes nebody close to me uncomfortable, my aura repells anybody who comes close. its hard to look into somebody's eyes for it generates fear in both of us. did u ever lead such life, even part of it, wut made u survive it?