How do you cope with having a drug addicted or incarcerated family member?

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My brother who is very close in age to me is a heroin addict. We were very close as children but are night and day now. We are in our twenties, I am married have a promising career and lead a pretty straight laced lifestyle. He is a drug addict, he's been places and done things that I couldn't even imagine. He has been in and out of prison several times. It is very difficult to deal with and the sadness that I feel for him and for my family, sometimes it is overwhelming. I love him very much, my heart breaks for him and for my poor parents who have had to watch him destroy himself. My parents moved 3 hours away so he could start over but he is back in prison and my parents are now three hours away from me which is difficult for me to deal with because I am ready to start a family and I feel like I am being cheated. I am not embarrassed by my brother but I also don't like to talk about the situation because I feel like no one understands. I don't like to talk about him to co-workers or friends because I feel like they will judge him and I guess look down on me and my family as well. I have come to accept that this is the way life is. I hold out hope that one day he will not be an addict but I have to face the reality that he has been into drugs (heavy drugs) for seven years now. I've gone to meetings with him and I write him in prison, all I can do is be there for him. There are times that I have terrible feelings about him and times that I am so sad for him because I know how lonely his life must be. Just wondering how others out there deal with similar situations.