My sister!
@inspired_designs (248)
United States
February 6, 2007 1:06pm CST
When I was 6 or 7 years old, I had a beautiful baby sister. MARLA was 4 yrs. old.
The problem started when she refused to eat. All she wanted was something to drink, water, milk, juice, etc.Her Father was not at all thrilled by this. So, he started spanking her, usually with a spatula of some kind. That didn't help! So, things progressed....it got so bad that Marla couldn't leave the house without being dressed in long sleeve shirts and pants. Even in those hot Alabama summers.
It finally came to the point that Marla didn't wake up one morning. She couldn't move. She couldn't even open her eyes! The only movement there was, was her chest barely moving up and down, at least she was breathing!
The abuse continued, it wasn't just my little sister who got it. My little brother, my Mother, and myself. We all had to suffer. But, my beautiful baby sister suffered the most.
Finally the day came. Marla just couldn't take any more. She suddenly quit breathing! Of course, they rushed her to the hospital. But, it was to late! I never seen Marla after that, only in my dreams!
Marlas death was a direct result of child abuse. Nobody helped her and nobody could save her! Atleast I know she is now happy and smilling down on me from up above!
7 people like this
12 responses
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
7 Feb 07
How horrible to have to witness and survive such abuse. I'm sure poor Marla smiles on you from her place in heaven. At least some good came of it and you are helping others. We were never even spanked as children so I can't imagine living that way. I can't believe how people can be so cruel to others, especially children. It's heartbreaking, God bless you and keep you safe.
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Thank you! I'm happy for you that you didn't have this kind of childhood! My philosophy has been "Everything happens for a reason and what doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger!
@AmbiePam (94081)
• United States
6 Feb 07
She sure is smiling from above. She is feeling no pain and the angels are rejoicing around her. She lived a short painful life, but she has a long, joyous future she is living in now.
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
6 Feb 07
Awww, thank you for saying that! It helps to hear others say it, it reinforces my thoughts!
2 people like this
@babykay (2131)
• Ireland
7 Feb 07
I don't know how to answer this except to say that all those babies and children who die at the hands of abusers are safe in the arms of God right now. They are now fully at peace, they understand things fully, such as the demons which drove their abusers. They understand better than we do now. As for the evil people who do these deeds...they may be released from prison but they are always in the prison of their memories, knowing what they did, from where there is no escape, parole or release. You deserve very much to be commended for any efforts to stop child abuse and I am very sure your efforts are making a difference.
1 person likes this
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Thank you! This was a very nice response and I needed to hear it!
@bethmt (419)
• United States
6 Feb 07
I'm so sorry that this happened to your sister and that you had this terrible experience in your life. How sad that no one was able to help Marla before it was too late.
I experienced abuse when I was a child, so did my sisters, and no one ever stepped in to help either.
I'm glad to hear that at least her father did some time in prison although I'm sure it wasn't long enough. My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the best.
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
6 Feb 07
Thank you! I just want to make everyone clear...I'm not here for sympathy for myself! I just want people to help stop child abuse and be aware that this is happening!
2 people like this
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
6 Feb 07
Her father spent 15 years in prison for man slaughter and child neglect! Not long enough! He was supposed to have 20 years without parole, and the jails became over crowded and he got out for good behavior!
My mother, that's a different matter, she spent 5 years in prison for child neglect. In Alabama they don't have the accesory law!
Marla actually was my step sister, but I feel like she was my full sister. She lived with us since she was a newborn.
2 people like this
@zero_krizma (48)
• United States
6 Feb 07
its a sad thing to watch someone hurt their own child..its just heartbreaking.who in the hell can put their hands ona child .it disgusts me.he should have served life behind bars w/ no chance for parole.do you have any contact with him or your mother now?and you being so young when all this was going on...too scared to say anything..jesus this just eats me up.its too bad that this happens everyday in our world...too many kids who cant defend themselves from these monsters.ugggghhhhh...damn the jerks who think they can get away with that kind of behavior..
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
6 Feb 07
I know, My thoughts exactly! This is why I decided to dedicate myself to children and helping fight child abuse!
2 people like this
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I am so sorry to hear that you and your family had to suffer like that. Whatever happened to her father? Was he punished?
How has your life been since that point in time? Did you seek therapy? I know that I ask many questions but this is a subject that is close to my heart. My aunt was abusive much like the father of your sister. She used spatulas, paddles from the paddleballs that had been toys. She lost it one day a took a belt to use on my younger sister. In all her anger she lost hold of the buckle end of the belt and it left a gash in my sister's leg. My sister bares the scar to this day. There were many crazy incidents like this when we were growing up and amazingly we made it through. I was the only one who obtained therapy and today I try to reach out to others.
I am sure that Marla is one of your angels looking over you. It is by opening up and talking about these things that we begin to heal. Best wishes to you and your family.
Bless little Marla's soul as well.
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I am sorry to hear that you and your siblings had to go thru this! I too went thru alot and I struggle everyday to survive! I grew up in the foster care system and the abuse followed me into my adulthood, I chose men as my mother did! Finally one day I woke up and saw the light! I knew I was living the life cycle that my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother did and I needed to break that cycle...so that is what I did!
@momto2b2g (217)
• United States
9 Feb 07
That is so horrible. I'm sorry for you and your loss. She's in a better place now and happy.
It seems that back then no one said anything about what what was going on in families. It was a family thing and was kept that way. No one wanted to speak up about anything. It was no one elses business.
It's great that you are helping others in the same situation.
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Thank You for your response! It wasn't normal back then to "speak out" about what was happening, this you are right about! Well, times have changed and I WILL USE MY VOICE for all to hear. Even if it saves 1 child, I will be pleased! And no I will NOT stop at just 1 child! Please view the memorial site for my sister and RAISE YOUR VOICE and light a candle for all the children that become victims of child abuse!
http://marla-rose.memory-of.com
@payingforschool (678)
• Canada
7 Feb 07
What a sad story. I agree with you 100% - we need to find a way to STOP child abuse. There are too many children out there getting hurt every day. It is so hard to stop because people think that what goes on in other people's homes is 'private' and so they don't get involved. I am sorry for the loss of your sister.
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Ya, well I have learned that people like this do not deserve their "privacy"! All their dirty laundry needs to be stuck out on the clothes line and viewed by everyone! Let them be ashamed!
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
9 Feb 07
You know, he wasn't sent to prison for long enough! He should have rot in there!
@doodlebug5250603 (1993)
• United States
7 Feb 07
i am so sorry for your lose. and i can't believe that this happened to all of you.
did anyone ever do anything to your father? how was it handled later on down the road. what did your mother have to say about all of this? was there anything that she could of done that she wish she would of done then?
@doodlebug5250603 (1993)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I'm glad that you are doing your best to help with the children that are being abused. Don't worry about your sister's dad. God will do the punishing, and he will get his turn in it. I'm sure that God doesn't like children hurting either, and he will deal with this in his own way.
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Thank You! Her father was to serve 10 years for manslaughter and 10 years for child abuse, back to back ( so, 20 years total)...needless to say he served maybe 10-12 of those years and was let out because the prisons were over populated and for good behavior! Sad, isn't it? What is wrong with our justice system? My mother received a 10 year sentence for child neglect and served 5-6 years of that and was released on good behavior! She received this sentence because she didn't report the crime! Unfortunately, back in the 80's, you didn't have all the publicity and places to go for abuse like you do now! so, my mother was left to do what she could...she did manage to take all of us kids and run (on a couple of occassions), but he always found us, and each time we had worst punishment! I know now my mother would have done things differently, if she would have had todays resources!
Now, my sisters father is out, free! He is crippled by MS and in a wheel chair (he is getting what he deserves!), but he apparently is using this loss of memory for an excuse to block out what he did! But you see, one day I will be in the news everyday preventing child abuse! I will be sure to remind him of what a horrible thing he did!
1 person likes this
@inspired_designs (248)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Thank you! But I don't want you to feel sympathy for me...what you could do, is make every effort to reach out to the children and families in your community and help prevent another child from suffering.
