If you were diagnosed with Alzheimer's, would you want to know?
By carmella
@carmella (496)
United States
February 6, 2007 2:12pm CST
This is a very important question to me as my father in-law died from this 2 years ago, and his sister has just been diagnosed as well. My father in-law was told about his diagnoses, and knew what he had and what was going to happen to him. Obviously his sister knows what will happen because of my father in-law, but she does not know she has it and her husband and children are not going to tell her. This is really upsetting to me as I feel she has a right to know what is happening to her. If I had alzheimer's and my family kept it from me, I would be extreamly furrious if ever I found out, in fact I just warned hubby that if he did that to me, I would haunt him after I died, LOL I just do not feel it is reight to keep this from her, she is going to forget everything and wither away. I would want to do a few things before I was to a point I couldn't remember how to.
So my question, what would you want if it were you? Would you want to know, or would you want to just wither without ever knowing that you were withering?
15 people like this
39 responses
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
6 Feb 07
Yes I would want to know. I have many health problems. and I worry when something new starts happening. Knowing is better than not knowing and wondering what is happening to you. It is hard when your life is turned upside down by health problems and not knowing what is wrong. It is harder than knowing. I know this from experience.
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
6 Feb 07
I think that I would want to at least be informed, yes. I don't know if knowing would do me any good or not, but it would be horrible to have that serious of a condition and have people withholding the information from you. I really am sorry that your sister's husband and children are not wanting to tell her what is going on. To an extent, I can understand why they don't want to upset or alarm her, but it really might be for the best if she did know. Not knowing her personally, I can't say. But I know that I don't like the idea of information being withheld from me like that :/
3 people like this
@carmella (496)
• United States
6 Feb 07
That is what I told my husband, she has a right to know. I told him he needs to call his mom back and beg her to talk to her sister in-laws hubby and plead with him to tell her. I just do not feel they are doing the right thing. I would say something, but they are only our aunt and uncle and I am only the "in-law", and we are not very close to them at all. I just feel so bad that her right to know is being taken from her.
Thank you so much for your response. I plan to have hubby let his mom know what everyone says here, hopefully it will help persuade her family to tell her.
1 person likes this
@ownado (1679)
• Portugal
7 Feb 07
Well, I don't know if I would like to know or not... it would be very scary for sure knowing that I would forget about everything and everyone around me and I say this because my grandmother had it so I know how it is so I think that if I knew I had it and remembering how it was with her I would prefer not to know it or else I wouldn't live the rest of my normal life (while it doesn't evolute much) just thinking that everything would be gone soon.
2 people like this
@czarina0527 (307)
• Philippines
6 Feb 07
i want to know.i don't want my family suffers my condition.it is important for me to know so that i can fix my shortcomings and to settle my accounts.
2 people like this
@earth2jacq (1502)
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
I would want to know if I have one. Atleast before I wither away I will write down the important things and events and people that I encounter.Then when I lost my memory, I will be able to read about it. And though I forget the names and events I will always rember how I felt. A good read is Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook.It is about a love that survived Alzheimers.
@carmella (496)
• United States
7 Feb 07
What a good idea. This all is making me think about life in general, and how it is probably a good idea to start doing the things we would want to if we knew we were going to die soon. There are no guarantees on life. When God decides he wants us home, that's it, it's over, and it could be as soon as tomorrow for all anyone knows. The whole thing really makes you think about things.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I worked in a retirement community and saw many stages of Alzheimer's. Most people who have symptoms of it do not know, are not aware of it, or are in total denial - that's just the nature of the beast. Since there is no "cure" I don't know that I'd want to know. I would want to know that my family will help me through it, or anything else...
As for knowing being an excuse to do what you always wanted to do - you don't know if you're going to be hit by a piano on the way to work tomorrow, so do what you want to do NOW! I beleive in living every day like it was your last - you just never know. Don't wait, the time might not get here.
1 person likes this
@carmella (496)
• United States
7 Feb 07
So very true, this has been a huge eye opener for me, because there are so many things I want to do and say, and as I stated in an early response, there are absolutely no guarantees that you will be alive tomorrow, so every day should be lived as though it were our last. Unfortunatly too many of us do not do that, and I am as guilty as anyone of doing it.
@paogutierrez (465)
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
I would like to know! It is my right. I know how painful it is to accept that you're suffering from such health condition but i want to do something about it. I won't grow old and die without fighting it. And I won't remember it anyway.. lol
@carmella (496)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I feel we all have the right to know, regardless of how bad it is, we deserve to be told what is going on inside of our body. I don't see how they can keep this hidden from her either, sooner or later she has to question why she is forgetting everything and why she cannot do certain things.
As you mentioned, I would fight the disease hard and long, to the bitter end. I would challenge it to beat me, LOL I think knowing would enable me to work my mind and make notes on things I want to remember. Then when my mind gets bad I can look back ojn these things and regain that memory a little. It think not knowing only shortens the persons life, or at least their memory.
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I would definately want to know. I would be devastated, of course, but you can start making every single day that much more special. If you know, you can do things you always wanted to do, but were too scared or too held back to do it. I would make a video for my kids and one for my husband. I would do so much if I knew. I would be upset if my husband kept this from me. I feel like you...she has every right to know. There may be things she wants to do before she starts forgetting things and gets too weak.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
7 Feb 07
my step dad is going threw that now and hes in a rest home. i believe i would want to know. noone has the right to keep something like that a secret when it comes to someones health.
1 person likes this
@andiruleu (310)
• United States
7 Feb 07
if it was me. i would like to be informed, so for me yes.. even tho its a lot to tell someone.. they should know what is going through their body.. but keeping a secret from the person would probably devistate her.. because she'll probably go through stages from alzheimer and not know what's wrong with her.
1 person likes this
@stateroad (730)
• United States
7 Feb 07
As hard as it would be to know the answer to your quesiton is YES I would want to know. It is better to know what challenges life has in store for you. More importanly if I were diagnosed with Alzheimers I think I should have the right to know I have it. I am keeping in mind that I have relatives that I have losed from this disease. I think everyone has the right to know whats going on with His or Her body.
1 person likes this
@Dzbfree (94)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I would definitely want to know, and if they come up with a genetic test to tell you if you'll get it, I would take that. I've watched an aunt and 2 uncles die of it, and now my father has it. After seeing what they've gone through, I'd have certain things I'd want to do before it got bad.
I'd travel and do things I've put off. I'd let me family and friends know how I feeel about them and make some videos for my sons and grandson. I'd put my affairs in order. When it got bad, I then would end my life before the Altzheimer's did.
1 person likes this
@carmella (496)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I am so sorry for all that your family has endured from this horrible disease. I would Pray that I would die from something else before I lost all my memory. Ending my life myself would not be an option for me, but I can see how it would be tempting when faced with what happens to a lot of people with alzheimer's.
@carmella (496)
• United States
7 Feb 07
It is a horrible disease that takes all your dignity away from you and turns a full grown adult with a great and magnificiant mind into a full grown new born baby who cannot do anything for themselves and has no idea who anyone is. Then all you internal organs forget how to function and you die. The onky good side is that when you die, your mind is so far gone that you yourself have no clue to what is happening, but all your loved ones do. It's a horrible, horrible, disease that no one deserves to go through.
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
I definitely would like to know whatever is wrong with me even if it is a terminal illness. I believe all of us have the right to know our own condition so that at least we can settle certain things before it is too late. Whether we take it badly or bravely it is our responsibility, and no one should do it for us.
@jackie_mmm (886)
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
Tell her because it wouldn't be right to deny her one of the most important facts in her life At first of course she'll be shocked and grief-stricken, but later on she'll get a grip and face down life. She'll likely forget over time that she has the same disease as her father. And the disease gets full-blown, at least you won't feel guilty looking at her without any clue of the past.
1 person likes this
@carmella (496)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I'm sure she will experience a degree of depression when she first finds out, but like you said, that will go away with time, and her instinct to live everyday as if it were her last will kick in and she will be tough and live each day to it's fullest while she can still do it and enjoy herself.
@Elaeblue (144)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I would want to know. First of all then there is time to do the things that make life a little easier on your family. Such as getting together all important papers for the spouse, making sure there is burial insurance, even check out nursing facilities in case your spouse cant take care of you anymore.You would have time to make peace with those who you have argued with, time to tell your children ahead of time while you still can how much you love them and appreciate everything they will do for you. Time to prepare. BUT ALSO there is medication that slows the progress of this disease and lots of research going on so there is hope. Alzheimers usually takes a long time and most die of something else first so there is lots of time for medical science to find something to help. Get your sister in law to check with a specialist to see if any of this medications will help her they are available now. May whatever God you believe in bless your family and be with you in time of need.
1 person likes this
@rakku2007 (59)
• India
7 Feb 07
Not sure whethwer i would like to know abt it or not. But the very essence that such a disease is there got on to me when i saw a movie in Malayalam, where the hero is drawn to become a patient of Alzheimer's bcoz of the force in him driving himself to get his son prepared for the IAS exams. I feel it is better for her to be highlighted abt the disease and proper care met to her after that.
1 person likes this
