Tips for being a good stepmom

Just an afterthought... you probably noticed my username...yep, I got that courtesy of Cinderella. My stepson's mom was appalled when she heard him call me that. (We joke quite a bit, always laughing and teasing)He said, "Ah mom, I'm JOKING with her!!" It's been my username ever since! I mean, this is the kid at 9 yrs old who brought ME a towel at the beach cuz I got salt water in my eyes, because I usually had one ready for him!

That is a great tip! My stepson and I really are good friends. Another tip would be to stand firm on house rules. My husband and I got together when my stepson was five. At the time my husband felt guilty because his son had to go through life with two homes. So he tried making up for it by giving his son anything and everything he wanted. His son never wanted to eat dinner, just junk food. (He's actually a very slim boy) I was always brought up with no snacks unless you at least tried to eat your meal. My stepson laughs now when I tell him some of the stuff he did when he was younger...calls himself a brat. But once I got my husband to not override things I had said, it got better. (He was actually making things harder for his ex-wife by making her the bad guy when it came to discipline) My husband now says that I've had a definate influence on his son. I got him interested in reading, which neither of his parents really are, (and he in turn got me hooked on Harry Potter, lol)and now he is almost 17, and a high-honors student. My last birthday I received a lot of calls wishing me a happy day, but it was the one from my stepson that meant the most. (Along with the email the night before telling me how old I was getting....)

Being a step mom is tough. I have been a steep mom for seven years now. I treat them the same as my kids. Every one has the same rules. I am a friend but when they are at my house I am their parent as well. My step children respect me and I give them the same courtesy. My step children were very young when my husband and I got married( 2,4, and 5) so they hardly remember before I was their stepmom. They think of me as their weekend mom. I believe you have to treat your step children as yours in order to maintain order, respect and love. If they dont respect you they cannot love you. They need to know that you love them but you expect them to treat you as they do their biological parent.

In my own experience as a stepmom to my 2 stepkids, I accepted and treated them as my own kids, we have transparent or open communications, I explained with them, the reason of my actions and what I thought of and vice versa, and the most important tip is, be closed to god, pray for his guidance and blessings for your family.

The best thing is to appreciate your step kids, love them at all cost and have a heart to heart talk about everything first and tell them your real intentions and don't be so plastic to your step kids. Know them first, what they humor, their life coz sometimes your jokes could be foul to them and they can be offended by it. And also don't be a backstabber! I have a stepmom right now and I don't like her, she is a backstabber, gold digger, hypocrite lady that wants to get all of our riches. Sorry for the words. Just try to be nice and friendly to us and we may realize later on what your intentions towards us. Peace! =)

I agree with your response about not trying to be a parent to your stepkids. This is especially true with teenage children. They do not really appreciate it anyway since like you said they already have parents. My advice is to always let your husband handle the discipline. If he chooses to not discipline, he will deal with the problems that will arise from that. I get tired of wasting my breath trying to get him to set reasonable boundaries. The only thing is, you know, if they fail to set those boundaries your life is affected by it as well. What is a person to do??