loss of a parent...

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i lost my dad to cancer 2 years ago.it was 3 weeks from the time he was diagnosed to the time he passed..it really hurts because i didnt have enough time with him..i feel like i should have done more with him and now i cant.i will carry this burden for the rest of my life.every x-mas now the family sets off balloons in memory of my dad----this past x-mas i had all the balloons in my bedroom until it was time to go outside..my daughter and i got ALL the balloons and took them out...later tht night upon going to bed guess what i found in my room? 1 lone balloon.and we know we took every balloon out of there earlier in the day.i want to believe that my dad put it back in the room for me after he received it cause he knows im having such a hard time with his death(he was only 60).when we let the balloons go it was so windy we were sure they would get caught in the trees...but even with the wind....they went right between the trees and kept on going.is there anyone else out there that believes in this kind of stuff???any experiences that you have had?