Putting the Pressure on Love

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Throughout my life I've been chasing down the idea of being happily settled and married with somebody who is in love with me. It is only recently that I have realised that with this vision of how my relationships "should be" I have put pressure on the people I have been with to do or say things that they wouldn't ordinarily. Consequently things haven't worked out. I have often expected them to say "I love you" sooner, so said it to them in the hope that they would feel the need to say it back, when honestly speaking I would only want them to say something like that if they truly meant it, not because they felt they should. I've decided if and when I ever get into new relationships I am going to take things at a steady pace and not inflict my vision of what should be on what actually is happening in reality. Has anyone else done this kind of thing and woken up to it as I have? Have you successfully taken things steady without the need or desire to force anything?