Need Advise from mylot community and Friends

ok 1st off how old is your daughter? either way i dont think that its your responsibility for her transportation to get there. i would send her on the bus. shes the one who got herself in the situation and she chose not to goto 2 appointments already so it doesnt seem as though shes wants to stay out. sorry if this seems harsh but i hate that in alot of these situations when our kids get into trouble everyone thinks it should be the parents responsibility to make sure that it gets fixed and to do what they need to do. my daughter is pregnant at 16 and she thought that i should make her appointments for her ob, transportation,etc. im not the one who got her pregnant, its her responsibility. i would have your daughter realize that her not going to her appointments is messing her up but its not your fault. good luck.

No, don't drive her yourself. She knew she had those appointments and missed them anyway. She needs to learn there are consequences for her actions. You breaking the law to take her to the appointment isn't going to teach her anything except you only have to obey the law when it's convenient. Tell her to take the bus and get to that next appointment. If she doesn't do it, then she will have to face the consequences. If she gets arrested again it will be her fault and her problem. I think she'll learn a whole lot more having to do this on her own than if you do it for her. Just my thoughts?

Well I htink the best thing for you to do is try and find her a ride, do not put yourself in that postion to get yourself arrested. Or take a bus with her so that you know for sure that she is going. I cant believe that she would even put herself at risk to be put back in jail again. You need to sit down and talk to her and let her know that if she gets herself back in there again that it is on her.

I wouldn't say to drive her. You don't want to put your ownself in any risk. She knows she has to go and that it is her responsibilty to get there. Nevertheless, to be sure she goes why don't you take the bus with her or have someone take you both there or have her pay for a taxi to her appointment. This way you know she has made it there because you are with her and you are not putting yourself in harms way of getting into deeper trouble yourself. Best of luck

Don't risk getting yourself in trouble. It is her responsibility. I went through the same thing with my son. He got locked up a few times in juvenile detention. He finally realized. Today he a a top notch welder with a beautiful little girl. Sometimes we just have to let them learn on their own. You could do this for her today but you won't always be there so she needs to learn on her own.

If your daughter is 18 then she is old enough to make responsible decisions. You can't protect her forever. It's her responsibility to make it to these appointments, leave it to her. If she misses it and ends up in jail, then so be it. It will be a lesson learned for her.

It depends on how old she is. I would certainly not recommend driving her as that would be ilegal for you and make her think it is okay to ignore the law. Maybe you take her by bus. That way you know she will be there and not worry about her being arrested again. I am sure it is tough trying to figure out these sorts of things.

I definitely would not drive with a suspended or revoked license. That would just add to your troubles, adding that charge and driving without insurance to your existing problems. I don't know if your daughter is a minor or is over 18, but I'm assuming from your conversation that she is aware of her responsibilities and of the consequences of not following through. As a mother, I'm sure that you're sick at the thought of what will happen to her if she keeps missing these appointments, but at some time she is going to have to act responsibly and take care of her business and obligations. She's actually lucky to have you behind her; I hope that she appreciates that! I guess that I would go with her on the bus to be sure that she gets there; wait for her in the waiting room and come back with her. If you can get a friend to drive you and pick you up, that's also an option.

Time to figure out the bus schedule, save cab fare, or let your daughter get re-arrested. It is obvious that you are all having troubles with the lasw so it is time that each person took care of their own legal obligations and get things straightened out.

your daughter should meet counselling officer immediately

I agree with Only1Andrea's suggestions. It is much better to get a taxi, don't risk the consequences of you getting caught driving without a license. Your daughter needs to grow up and realize she is responsible for getting herself to her appointments on time, but I can understand why you need to get involved. I think a taxi is your best route to go.

Take the bus to the appointment. It will give you a chance to talk.Good luck.

you should let her be responsible for the consequences of her actions...we are not serving our childrens best interests by softening the fall for them...as a responsible parent who models behaviour that thier child can follow...it would be unwise for you to go against your own prohibition to help her...i have 4 children...i know what it means to be a parent and how easy it is to give in...but i have never been sorry for setting the example even if it was the more difficult thing to do..best of luck to you

Hi Sharon, I agree with the consensus, if you are always picking up the pieces and doing everything for her she will never learn. On the other hand, we all need guidance, support and second chances. You can't put yourself into trouble though, as it won't help the situation and sends her a message that it is Okay to break the law. How would that help her? She must get there via bus, taxi, friend or family. You can offer her some help and try to suggest the ways for her to get there. I am sure she has plenty of friends who drive her the rest of the time. She just isn't motivated to go to these appts. She may have to learn the hard way. Since she is 18 years old, she can learn to be responsible. I used to take the bus everywhere at 16 years old. Maybe she is passively telling them 'go to hell'. She may have a destructive streak as well. I am sure being in jail will wake her up. Mommy can't fix everything. I have a daughter that was caught shoplifting and believe me, I wanted to pay her fine, but I didn't.

I would not drive over there. then you will both be in trouble. She is a big girl and should be able to do it her self. If she can't do the time, she shouldn't have done the crime. Just call and remind her and then let her take it from tehre. If she can't get to it by herslf then she needs to make arrangments so she doesn't go back to jail.

My heart goes out to you because I know you must care about your daughter. You need to be as supportive as you can without letting her walk all over you. I don't think for her to land in jail at this age will help her whatsoever. I think she needs your support and guidance and love and a good example of obeying the law from you. Good luck.

I wouldn't drive her. She has to be responsible for herself. You don't want to risk going to jail or losing your car, do you? I know you want to "do things for her" to help her out but she has to be a big girl and do it for herself. I think it's really silly that she would miss her last couple of appointments right before she's supposed to get off of probation. I guess if she ends up back in jail, she'll learn...Good Luck!

I don't know how old is your daughter but I think that anyway she has to be responsible about her life. You have just to remember her something and sometimes. If she doesn't understand how is important don't forget the appointments she'll pay for it. but this is the life and she has to grow up anyway. Don't feel guilty

She needs to learn to be responsible on her own. If you drive her to the appointment she isn't learning to be responsible, unless she comes to you and asks for a ride to get there, you can't nag her to go. If she comes to you and asks for a ride tell her you can't drive now but will help her find a way, another friend, a cab, whatever.