Why can some wives stand the beatings of their husbands?

You know, I was in an abusive relationship and I stayed in it for over a year until I actually left. When I left, it wasn't for good--at least in mind. I was trying to "teach him a lesson". LOL Well, anyhow I was always the one that said "no man will hit me...I will be out the door in a heartbeat!". Let me tell you, the beating does NOT just start one day. These abusive men (and women in some cases) work up to it. First, they start by breaking down your support, your thoughts, your self confidence. Eventually, it will go on to hitting or throwing OBJECTS. Then, he might push you or poke you. THEN...it leads up to the beatings. By the time these abusers actually lay a hand on their victim, the abused is beaten down. They really believe this is what it is...they believe it's their fault...they beleive there is nobody out there for them except this abuser. The abuser feels so horrible afterward and showers the victim with love and attention. That is, until the next time they get mad. It's a vicious cycle and the abused person is NOT thinking right...they ahve a distorted sense of the world. These women (and men, in some cases) have no self esteem...they need help, but a lot of times don't realize it. It's very sad. I am a survivor of domestic abuse and it was a good YEAR or so AFTER I left that i actually started seeing what happened. Up unitl that point, I wanted back with him. Now, 11 years later, I think "why"...i have thought about it a lot and these are the answers I have come up with. It wasn't my fault...he wore me down.

I have been through domestic abuse training. There are a few reasons why woman stay: If they grew up in a home where the dad beat the mom, then that is all they know and its normal to them. The husband/ boyfriend makes them feel so degraded that they think they are not worth anything other than what they have. It is not love, its control on the part of the man. The man makes up excuses as to why he hits her: such as he was drunk and didnt really know what he was doing. Men who beat almsot always comes from a home where the man beat the wife. Both the man and the woman need to get counseling of some kind to get out of the cycle, so their children dont end up in that situation There is nothing anyone can do, till one of them seeks help, usually its the wife.

most women who accept the beatings are emotionally weak. they think nobody would accept them and help them... they stay hoping that their better half or worse half would change their crazy attitude and start giving them the proper respect they truly deserve. but as far as we can see, it would never happen. people who beat their partner will never change. they might change but not with the partner that they have now... they might change but with other people. my husband never lay his finger on me. but if he would he knows i would fight back and i guess that would be the end of our relationship. that is a total disrespect for me if that happens. but i know it would never happen because my husband loves me dearly...

It would mean the end of the relationship for me. I don't think that anyone should be abused in a relationship. Hitting does not equal I love you, and if it does for some, then i don't want to be loved like that. there may be a thin line between love and hate, but don't ever forget that there is a line!!!!

sometimes wives think they can't get anyone else so they stay with the abuser. Not every beaten wife has kids. If someone punches me, I will punch back. Hit me and he better make sure that I don't get up. Hitting a woman, is wrong. I don't care what reason a man gives, he is wrong. Whatever happened to loving and respecting your wife? Things are just getting way too violent these days.

they stay maybe because they are not just thinking of themselves but also their children. maybe her kids are still little or she doesn't have any place to go or the most pitiful one is maybe she love her husband so much. if i married and my husband beats me afterwards, i will pack my things and tell him to go to hell. if we have kids, ill bring the kids. well thats just me.

Firstly, beating of wife by their husband is very wrong... not because they will strike back, but bcoz they are also human beings and have equal rights as of a husband... Some wife accept beating of their husbands just becoz they don't know their rights or don't have the courage to answer back...

These are some of the reasons why couples have fights or arguments: money, work and children or sometimes third party. But money is always the number one reason. The usual reason the woman on why they can't leave their husband is that they love their husband so much that they cannot leave them. Sometimes, women don't want to have a broken family because of their children...

It is never the concept of ending the relationship atleast in India where relationships take a lot of love to take place and a lot of pain to break away. So it is the same in this case. It is the taboo of the society that a divorcee wife cannot stand alone in the society and those whose bond with new partners are not given the respect that they ought to get.

Well I think because of the following reasons. 1. Love, they love their husband so much. 2. They love the children, they don't want to have broken family. 3. Less self respect, feeling helpless and self pity. 4. Ignorance of the law. 5. Too much respect and value being given to the sanctity of marriage.

beating a women is a stupid and the most bad thing to do... and beating a wife is so bad she came with you thinking you are the world for her so beating her is like beating us... if the wife still accepts all the beating and stay with her husband is only ofr one reason that she love him from her deep heart... and these husbands dont deserve that love...

i think its a pity for those women who just do nothing about it when their husbands beat them. but i guess every situation is different, like for example when kids are involved, it somehow affects in the decision making for the women to just leacve their husband. but im actually against it, for women to just sit and do nothing. they should make a stand and fight for their rights.

fineeeeeeee...... as v all know in this modern world.. hw much rights u r havin over ur wife... she too havin the same... the reply can b a slap.... don take it in d -ve sense

wife beating prevails because the female accepts her fate and doesnt strike back.

I find this very sad when a man beats on his wife. But the person I feel the most sadness for is the children and the wife. This is wrong and he should be punished severly. You should never lay a hand on a women.

Good for you for not using force in dealing with your wife and kudos to you for admitting that she might fight back! Men who beat their wives are men without respect and the wives that tolerates it are women without a backbone. How can they allow it? Because of love? No, it's not suppose to be that way. I believe in the power of talk and negotiation. Everything can be settled without physical force. And when and if it happens to me, i will be out of the house in a flash. no sense in staying.

I think I'm your wife's type.. if it happens I won't break down and cry for sure. I would not tolerate it and for me that would mean the end of a relationship.

hmm.....those wife who eat beating must be less educated or something like dat.......

i guess there are 4 cases 1. the wife has to depend on the husband and there is nothing she can do about it, she takes the beating in exchange for a kind of security, at least she won't starve or worry about a place to live 2. that's the way the couple was taught, in some societies, women expect men to beat them because that has always been the way 3. she loves him alot and endures the beatings because she looks forward to the next wonderful moment they have together 4. perversion. what can I say? some people likes being beaten

I don't understand why guys do it either, but sometimes you don't know the whole story. Me adn my husband have had fights, and I find myself hitting him. I really don't know why, I just lose it when we fight. Yes, there has been a couple times that he has hit me back, but, I started it. We talked about it with the family, and now it doesn't happen. I think people just lose their temper to easily, and need help.