"You know what..."
@DanielMarvoloRiddle (331)
United States
February 8, 2007 6:22pm CST
There are certain words and phrases in the English language that make me want to poke people in the eye with a blunt spoon. One of them is "But..." another is "well..." because I have rarely had a conversation where these words were uttered that anything worthwhile came afterwards.
But germane to the idea at hand, I find it terribly infuriating when, in my not-so-infrequent depressive doldrums, one of my coworkers feels it necessary to give me her "peptalk." It's always the same one, and I always know it's coming, for it stars with "You know what..." I'm sure you can guess what comes next: "you have to rise above this." "you can't let this keep you down." "You need to get into action, and you'll turn this around."
She's one of these people that don't stop working even for an act of open warfare. Bless her if it works for her.
You guys have to deal with the same sort of crap, don't you? Do people really think those stupid "peptalks" help us? Is making us feel even worse supposed to "magically snap us out" of the throes of depressions gnashing grip? It's never happened yet; I see no reason it should start now. It isn't as if we don't know the reality of our situation--which only compounds the problems.
Do you guys deal with this mess in your lives? The people that "think" they're being supportive by giving you some sort of "tough love" talk?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Oh yeah I know those pep talks. The ones that usually make you feel even more depressed then you were before they opened their mouths. All you wish is for them to stop and leave you alone however they never do that. They just keep on and on until you want to crawl away and bury yourself in a bed somewhere.
I usually try to ignore them. Let it go in one ear and out the other. Doesn't always happen that way but I try to. I try not to let it eat away at me and remind myself that I might be doing better then they think. It takes a while to dig myself out of the hole they put me in since I was usually in one already and they just made it a lot deeper.
1 person likes this
@DanielMarvoloRiddle (331)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I knew you were a kindred spirit. Isn't depression just one big joy ride? I need to print a shirt up that says something like "Thanks for the pep talk. I'm going back to bed now." Don't you think that'd be wonderful?
1 person likes this
@1983tyler (507)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I know what you mean. Those people who give those "peptalks" can't understand what we are going through. Many people don't understand the persistence of serious depression. It would be wonderful if we could just "snap out of it". But that's just not the way it works. The problem is, it doesn't work.
They think that if you just turn your attention to something else, the depression will go away. The depression is all inclusive. Medication helps.
@DanielMarvoloRiddle (331)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Meds do help, that's true. Even with the meds, sometimes that doesn't enough. Alas.
1 person likes this
@1983tyler (507)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I do know that medication doesn't do all. I suffer from severe depression, and even with medication I get depressed.
@somnolence (460)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I commisserate completely. It just shows ignorance about the condition. It only helps in that it makes me angry instead of depressed for a short time.
(I have to admit though, in conversation I am guilty of prefacing nearly everything I say with "but", "well" or "you know what".)
@DanielMarvoloRiddle (331)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I will forgive you of your semantic grievances because you prefaced it all with the word "commiserate."
1 person likes this
@Critter028 (77)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Eh, I have mixed feelings. I know exactly what you mean...I have been horribly depressed lately, a series of bad events occurred in my life and I was feeling very lost and hopeless. I still kind of am. My friends would give me the "pep talks", thinking that these words of wisdom would change my life and rise me up from the depths of my misery. They didnt. But they did remind me that people care about me, and I have wonderful friends who, while their talks are unoriginal, care about me unconditionally and just lack the proper words to express it. On the other hand, yesterday my father said to me, "You know what? It can not get any worse. You have hit rock bottom. But you can only go up from here." And that made me feel a lot better than all those people who were trying to tell me how good that I had it, even though it was blatantly obvious that I had hit an all-time low. Honesty is the best policy, dont sugar coat things.
