House Helpers : Helpful or Stressful???
By alfa62603
@alfa62603 (192)
Philippines
February 9, 2007 12:15am CST
Sometimes I ponder, do I really need a helper at home??.....I grew up in a household where we are taught how to move around the house on our own, clean our bedroom, wash our clothes, clean the house...it's because we are women and my dad have always believed that we should learn how to keep up a home because in the future we will be wives or mothers that eventually we would want our daughters to learn also to attend to themselves and not to depend on others.
Now I was caught up in a situation where I needed a helper in the house because I have a baby (whom I personally take care and not the nanny) , a husband and a teenage daughter. when you have toddler, you give most of your time attending to her..my dilemna is that whenever I get a helper...I am forced to be nice (so that she will not leave me), I train her, give good pay and benefits, treat her nicely like a member of the family....and when they become bored simply because they just dont want to work anymore, they leave!!!....made me think that they are more stressful than helpful!!...on the pic is my last helper "manang"..she is nice and she can meet up to my expectations, it's just that one day she decided to resign..oh well...sometimes i think, I can be better off without them...
Did u had this dilemna too???
7 people like this
41 responses
@ScottTheGR81 (76)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Maybe the other people involved in your life can help you with caring for the baby, a neighboorhood babysitter, a young girl with no younger siblings who may want "training" for her future family? Perhaps
@islandrose (686)
• Philippines
2 Oct 07
Yes, Alpha, when I have my small kids especially the second one because he was heavy, every week I have to look for a helper, the turn-over is fast. My problem was solved when my mother personally took care of him. Too stressful that made me sick too. Thanks God, they are grown up now and we don't need a helper anymore.
@chebin (286)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
it's very hard nowadays to find a house helper who's loyal and trustworthy... i grew up in a household with one house helper (i call her "ateng"). she's been with us since i was 5 years old and left our house when she got married after 6 years of stay with us but she still works for us since she just lives in the neighborhood. now that i have a family of my own and a 5-month old baby boy, i could still count on her to help me with some household chores every week. so my answer is... house helper is helpful or should i say "ateng" is helpful!
@ladybelle (56)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
for me,they are just stressfull because i had an experience like that also when we had a housekeeper.It is very rare to find a housekeeper that is reliable and can help so much in daily work..it just a stressfull for me believe me.
@lovelynn (7)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
Most of my growing up years was also househelp free. My mom taught me the basic chores at home like washing the dishes, clean the bedroom, mop the floors etc. Personally, a house helpers is a big help especially if you have kids at home. I mean, you can let the househelp do the household chores while you can concentrate on taking care of your kids. It's very hard to do all by yourself. That way, you may also find time for yourself to relax and quiet time for yourself. you don't want to look like a mid 40's when you age is 10 or so years younger won't you??
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Feb 07
well ive got house helper before when my children are still young...well yes..we really cant have them all our life theyre not permanent though and while theyre with us we must treat them nicely too as if our own relatives...but as long as our children grows to a young adult i think we dont need a helper lets teach them how things are done in our homes..
@korek222 (701)
• Poland
9 Feb 07
Sincerly - i never consider hireing house help - well i can manage with my own life by myself so why should i pay someone to do things i can do myself especially that doing that stuff wil make me realx from work and school - that's true - it is much easier to have someone who will do all that stuff for us but well - i would get too lazy iof i could just be coach potatoe ^^
@orangegirl (21)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
like you, i also grew up in a family w/o a house help..we were trained to clean our own stuff, and not depend on other people to take care of you..until now, im not used to giving people some "orders" for me,coz i feel that we are all equal..some househelp(my sister's for example) are stressful, like you cant even tell her to clean coz she's busy watching tv..??
but in the future, i might be thinking about this as an option, if i'll be having a baby..
@marymarj2002 (1769)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
I think there is nothing wrong if we have a helper to help in our house. As long as you also would work then it is okay. Especially in your case that you have a child to care.
About the issue of helpers, I would say that they are both helpful and at the same time stressful. In my experience , since I have also a helper. My helper is very good in taking of my child and caring the house. I can't complain to that and she works fast. In that way she is helpful for me. On the other hand, I also find her stressful since I need to treat her good. Especially that she the first degree cousin of my husband. One time she cause the wound of my three month old baby maybe because she is careless while cutting the fingernails of my baby. I am angry deep inside. I want to scold her for not taking care while cutting because the would is quite big. I just said okay, even if I hate her deep inside just to keep her. I just hope I can be with my child 24 hours to personally care him. It's okay to have helpers just to help the household task but not your child.
In your case, why don't you get a working student? I think she would not leave you that easy because she is studying. At the same time you are helping her to attain her education.
@flagbabygirl (891)
• United States
10 Feb 07
No I wish I could have a helper all the time I do everything in my house cooking, Laundry,cleaning, Kids, Dinner home made everyday, shopping and everythig else I would love to just sit back and let someone else clean and cook for a change that would be heaven!
@sweetvenus (95)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
Not to worry alfa62603, most of the mothers now a days are in the same dilemna as you are right now. Most the people i grew up with had a nanny or helper in their home. And i can see some of my friends having the same dilemna every now and then. I guess we just have to learn to adjust from time to time. Don't worry one day you'll find a helper that is really going to be an angel to you.
@essilem (286)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
I can relate with that, been married for almost 10 years now, never had a maid nor a nanny to take care of my kids until 8 months ago where my parents forced me to get outside help since two ofmy kids will be in school. The moment i got her in there is a feeling of unfamiliarity and i see her do her chores carelessly makes me wish i did not get help at all. I wake up in the morning trying to think of things for her to do while im still in the room. But she doing things that i am used to doing, but on the bright side she is helping me with simple household chores, but other than that she is pretty much not doing anything. My husband and i have discussed it and we are letting her go when school is out. I really miss going around the house and doing things again on my own. So that's my take on this.
@nilzerous1 (2434)
• India
9 Feb 07
We have grown up in such a society that we can't even think of our life without domestic helps. They are just an essential part of our family given the fact that at times they are more stressful than helpful.
@michele609 (1687)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Well I never had to go through that becasue I never ever had a nanny ot a helper. We could never afford anything like that. I wish just for one day that I can have on to help out but I think that it is a waste of money unless you have a good amount of money.
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I don't have a nanny, maid or a house helper. I think if you work away from home and if it's easier to hire a nanny than put the child in day care then I don't see nothing wrong with it. But if you are able to take care of your kids and cleaning your own home at the same time, Why hire someone to come in and do things for you that you can do yourself. I have two young kids and I have to take care of them and the house. I wish I could hire outside help so I could get a break here and there. But that's ok. It's all well worth it, knowing I did it myself.
@hartnsoul (558)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
Househelpers are helpful when they are new but once they have spents more than five years they can be complacent and arrogant. Our househelp has been with us for years. Even before I was born. She's cool but Man is she acting like the boss of the house. She even orders my parents. I think she's old and so familiar with everyone in the family that she makes her think its alright to treat us that way. Imagine being with her for one whole day! How stressful!
@silverflower (519)
• Pakistan
9 Feb 07
i am not sure because i have no helper i do my oen work but i think they will not make a great difference.
@pagibig (297)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
YES!!!!!
i need a helper unfortunately for the last 6 years we have gone through a lot of helpers already. the longest a helper lasts would be 2 months. 1 even stayed for just 15 hours. 1 even stole from us, most of them can't stay because they are either pregnant and/or getting married. so they resign.
