My mom needs to call the cops ASAP
By momokoseiya
@momokoseiya (453)
United States
February 9, 2007 11:33am CST
My dad has been giving my mother issues since day one! He got arrested for stealing checks and forgery because he was using stolen checks to pay the rent. My mom got up the money with help, and she was able to fix that mess. She kicked him out afterwards.
Then, she takes him back AGAIN. And the other day she checks her bank account before she writes the rent check, and she finds 600 dollars missing! My father admitted to stealing her ATM card and withdrawing the money. The rent was due the 5th, and he STILL hasn't given her the money back.
I keep telling my mom to call the cops on him but she won't listen!! She's never getting that money back from him because he has no job and is on drugs. I want my mother to finally stand up for herself and get him arrested. What would you do/say in this situation?
7 people like this
16 responses
@pyro19h (30)
• Bangladesh
10 Feb 07
yea i understand your situation, it's pretty tough. now the thing is that what your mother is saying might not be the real case. i think you mom loves your so much that she can't afford to lose him. but yea i agree with you. she should really stand up for her. but really try to understand something you try to do everything for your loved ones weather the person is good or bad.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
10 Feb 07
yes my friend she really should call the cops, how long before he turns violent? One thing ive found is that when someone gets frustrated chasing money, they turn to violence. Best serve the cops now before it becomes a murder investigation. Blessed be.
@momknows (284)
• United States
10 Feb 07
I agree with you there is a problem in the house which sounds like him. But it also sounds like your mother either loves or needs him. If she was to throw him out are you there for her, 100 percent?? Look futher into this problem and talk to her 1 on 1.
@Psychodaly (106)
• Israel
10 Feb 07
This is very complicated situation.
But as I see you think it's better to arrest your dad, and you are right by the way, but your mom doesn't want.
I think you will have to convinve her after all If they will arrest your dad it will be only good for you and for her, try to talk with her and explain her that this is the best thing to do.
@raghavrao89 (189)
• India
10 Feb 07
hat's so sad. My dad was a bum too. And what's worse ... he couldn't bear the fact that my mum was the eearning member or that she was smarter. He almost killed her because of that. Y do me have to be so egotistic sometimes?
@nicky35 (747)
•
9 Feb 07
i know its easy for someone on the outside to say but she really does need to say goodbye to him for her own sake.he will never change,people like him never do.you hold on waiting for it to happen but it just never does.tell her you love her and you need her to know she diserves sooooo much better.good luck to you and your mum.x
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
9 Feb 07
Well obviously you can't force her to do anything that she doesn't want to but if you persuade her with reason enough maybe she will consider it. I would just go into it with her often and remind her about all the horrible things he has been doing to her and how you feel about it.... Hopefulyy she realises her mistake.
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
10 Feb 07
This is very tough as your mom will have to be the one to actually call and file a complaint. From what you have said here it does not seem that your mom is very eager to do this. I think that until she has reached the point that she is not going to take any more from him all you can do give her support where you can. I would continue to tell her what she needs to do and let her know that you will be there for her. Tell her how much you worry about her and what your dad is doing, let her know that he is not going to change so she needs to just get rid of him. Good luck on this.
@Sawsen (793)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I guess it's really your mother's decision to make. If she chooses to be abused by him in terms of him stealing from her and leaving her in a big mess, than that's her decision, and she has to live with the consequences. I think she has a big heart and doesn't know how to say no. And maybe she thought he'll change and so she took him back again, and had to learn the hard way again that bad habits die hard. I guess all you could do is be there for her when she needs you, because being down her back isn't going to help the situation. I hope that helps. Hope everything works out for the best.
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
10 Feb 07
My first question is why in the world does she stay with a man like. It is not like she needs him to help her pay her bills. Sounds like she is so much better off without him. It sounds like your mother has some of her own issues. She definitely needs so help if she is ever gonna leave and not come back. Maybe you should call the police and report this and also get her some help to deal with her problems.
@stateroad (730)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I think we personaly would have to be in that situation. I would say call the COPS and have him arrested but I am not your MOM. Sometimes woman feel a certain feeling towards their husband. I know some of it may be fear. Maybe your Mom is afraid that if she goes against your Dad she will be alone. Maybe she feal that if she reports him it would be like betraying him. That is so hard to deal with when men take advantage of women for money. There is no excuse for it at all.
@Tenerifelynn (575)
•
9 Feb 07
I can sympathise with you here on this one.. We had the saem trouble with my dad too! Thieving and carrying on With him it was drink and other women, if he was challened we would be on the recieving end! We had to put up with it til I was 21,, eventually mum finally came to her sences and left him! As far as we know Dad is on with wife number 4 and she's younger than me! We've warned her to leave him alone cos he will just hurt her like he did with me and my mother and the other wives hes had!
Do hope and pray eventually things will sort out and your mother finally has your dad arrested! Sounds like he really deserves it.. You and your mother stay safe Dont get hurt any more!
Lynn-Marie
@docjudie (42)
• United States
10 Feb 07
It would be best if you Mom went to alanon or
nar anon..for family members of those who have an addiction. they offer practical support to stop "enabling" the person to say in thier addiction.
If she won't go you should go yourself...she may then follow you r example..but even if not,,you will have support and can give her good advice.
good luck to all of you
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
9 Feb 07
That's a tough decision. I think the only thing you can do is try to be there for her. There are some people who will take a lot, and I do mean A LOT before they actually stand up for themselves, but I do believe most people will reach their breaking point. I agree with you that she needs to call the cops also, but perhaps she is not quite ready to deal with that just yet. The best advice I can offer is to be there for your mom and try not to judge her to harshly.
@Gmens91 (389)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
Your mom has something of what you call martyr's syndrome. A husband abuses the wife not only physically but also emotionally. Then he makes up with her and promises to change for the better. The wife believes him and takes him back and the cycle is repeated. The only way to break the cycle is to make the wife understand that her husband will never change, and she will be better living off without him. As for your case, I think you should try to enlist the help of your family, relatives or friends that your mom trusts and respects. If she will not listen to you then maybe she will liten to them. Good Luck!!
