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I always hate to be a substitute.. espcially when deal with love problem.. i ever be a substitute in a love experience, no matter how i treat him good, how much i done for him, i still cannot won his heart and keep him by myside.. i m a fool on tat time, i though i can do anything for me and he will touch by me.. i though tat its nvm if he dun love me at all but still got me love him... but at last, he still leave when i m in a deep love with him.. its hurt and i will always lost control to cry at the midnight. No matter how pain i m, how hurt i m , i still cant giv up him tat time. i still ask him whether can i chase bac him even though he dun love me at all.. i really a fool.. its not a gal should do but i done.. nowaday, me and him no longer friend but just like enermy when meet. not i dun wan forgive, but its too hurt tat time and i dun know and not tat willing to put down all the things he give to me.. i m sorry.. After him, there is another guy in my heart again.. feeling through him is not love or favour.. dun noe how to descripe but he is special to me.. i know it. i will not purposely contact or meet with him but i will always attend on the things happened on him.. even a simple forward msg for me from him, i will also feel happy with it.. is it so call love? i dun think so.. as used, if i love or favour a person, i will always be so initiative and will try to get more closer to him.. but not like this time.. i dun even will like to get more close to him but just hope can know more bout him... His smile will always make me happy. I dun noe how he view me but both us always are in awkward situation.. He is too special to me.. i can hate him much cos he will always ignoring me.. i can like him much when he do nothing... i m crazy.. yes i m.. but this is not love.. i m clear with it.. i m scare to hv any complicated relationship with him cos friends around him is too $^&%&..haha...