WILL GOD PROVIDE A PARTNER??

Tweet

Faithful folks believe that if they pray for something hard enough, the Lord will answer their prayers. But what if you’re praying for the wrong Mr. Right? What if your dating decisions are keeping you from meeting the man who factors into the Lord’s plan? That might explain why you haven’t yet found your special someone. Consider how you can help your quest for a partner move ahead. Listen to your inner dialog Carrying around preconceived notions also can short-circuit you. “My dad ran off with a graduate assistant when I was little,” recalls Vernon Jeffries of Hoboken. “I sort of grew up thinking men leave.” Thoughts like this can force you into making bad choices, says Brenda Schaeffer, Minneapolis-based licensed psychologist and author of Is It Love or Is It Addiction? To circumvent that, ask yourself these questions: What do I believe about women, men, love, power, myself? Have I made any of these beliefs come true in my relationships? Once you’re aware of the answers, you can do a quick gut check when you feel yourself leaping to that conclusion or getting ready to act on it, she says. That, in turn, will help open you up to new romantic possibilities. Take steps toward your soul mate Follow these steps to improve the odds of meeting your special someone: Be patient. Don’t rush through a meeting with someone new, or make snap judgments about a person. Here’s how to start working toward this: Weinstein suggests instituting a daily 10-minute meditation practice. “You’d be surprised how impatient you can become waiting for the 10-minute mark to be hit,” he says. “Or start to train yourself to be calmer when waiting in line at the supermarket or caught in traffic. Patient exploration of your own values, and the values of your potential partners, leads to successful relationships.” Listen to your heart, not your head. “Practice noticing when your heart is open and activated,” says Rev. Bonnie Barnard of Phoenix. “Start with music you enjoy and move to art and literature and learn to take stock of your heart. Bring this practice to your relationships. Notice when you feel safe, happy, loved, connected.” This how you want to feel with a date, too. Pray or visualize. Focus on contented happiness rather than a specific kind of person or situation. “Meditate on or simply formulate some steps you might take to bring more contented happiness into your life,” Weinstein advises. “When have you felt that kind of happiness before? What were some of the things that contributed to it?” Open your mind. “Don’t judge someone in the first five minutes of meeting,” Newman says. “Give your date the benefit, unless your gut is screaming ‘total jerk’—then run for the hills. Otherwise, be open-minded. There is no perfect mensch, and none of us is perfect, either. If you recognize that, you might give someone who doesn’t seem like your type at first glance more of a chance than usual.” Be more giving. “We’re most apt to find love when we’re not seeking to take from another, but to give,” Weinstein explains. “Taking occurs when we feel an emptiness inside that we think a relationship can fill. The truth is, no relationship can fill a serious emptiness for very long. What can truly fill the emptiness must begin within yourself. Ask yourself, ‘What need am I looking for someone else to fill that I could start filling myself or through my own actions, rather than waiting for Mr./Ms. Right to initiate those actions for me?’” WHAT ARE UR VIEWS??