i need your opinion guys... my husband is living with his mistress...
By lucky_witch
@lucky_witch (2707)
Philippines
February 11, 2007 7:21am CST
we've been married for 5 years now...we have 2 kids, 5 and 2 yrs old... but he was cheating for 2 yrs. He was having an affair with his co-employee( actually his former boss). I used to talk to him about the problem and tried to settle things between us... I already talked to the girl (take note im the legal wife...) And listen to her sentiments... she promised me that she will leave us alone... and ive been good to her since then...I know its not sin to love but she loved a wrong person( my husband) but then again, i discover that their affair is still going on... I love my husband very much and waited long enough for him to come back... Now I learned that they are living in the same house... It hurts like hell...
Whenever I talked to him... he would say he dont know if he can leave her... Iguess he loved her that much.
When their co employee learned about their affair, I helped them with the way out and deny those things... For me, it should be between the three of us...
But when I discover that their living in the same house...he confessed that its true...and ive got evidences... (i recorded his confession) I guess thats the time I let go. Now, I found someone new... and im happy. He takes care of me and my kids... But i dont know what to do... I cant afford annulment here in the Philippines, I heard its quite expensive... And I want full custody for the kids... How can I start new life with my new found happiness...
6 responses
@sweetvenus (95)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
I'm from Philippines too, so i know how expensive such annulment would be, but have you tried asking your ex-husband if he is willing to share the expense for these proceedings? If he said yes, then much better, but if not, then i guess you just have to live your lives separately. After all your husband was the first one who cheated on you. As for the custody, you can make an arrangement with your ex-husband about it. I just hope he would cooperate with you.
@gharinder (2044)
• India
11 Feb 07
i think first be sure that the second guy with whom you would like to spend your life, is truly loyal, or you can continue with him as your best friend until sure about it, make yourself financially strong, i hope you have job, then you dont have to be dependent on others
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
Yeah, I guess its hard to tell... since its possible to fall out of love. Theres no guarantee on everything
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I am sorry that things didn't work out with your husband but I am glad you found someone new. I don't know how things work in the Philippines but I have been with my boyfriend for over seven years and he is still legally married. His wife has had other men in her life too. Neither one can afford a divorce so they just live thier lives like they weren't married. Some day they will get their divorce. Is there any reason why you couldn't do this too at least until you can get enough money for an annulment? I say be happy with your kids and your new boyfriend. Be happy. As for custody, where I live you can file for custody without an annulment. He left you, that to me is good enough reason but things may be different where you live. Good luck to you.
@suniyo (29)
• India
11 Feb 07
marriage is a false institution. if you are in love than it is okey but to engage yourself in such activities like marriage is the original sin. most of the societies around the world down the ages supported the system of marriage to organize, bound and control over. i don't think you should fight with your husband because he is not your husband but just a formal relation. if he is in love with other woman than it is very natural. marriage is an unnatural institution. human beings are designed for polygamy both naturally and genetically. just let him live peacefully. god bless you. amen.
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
Here in our country its a solemn thing. But Im glad to know your opinion. Thanks.
@mcaf1970 (140)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
if both of you have fallen out of love for each other, have a heart to heart talk as friends. request him for your freedom. freedom of happiness, freedom to love again & be loved. if he won't give in to your request, threaten him that you can file charges against him like abandonment & concubinage. here in the Philippines, there is a prescribed period to file charges. like your case, you can file within 5 yrs. or else you will lose the case. that means you consent your husband's extra marital affair. the custody of the kids will still be on your part since there is a law here that a child below 7 yrs of age must be with his/her mother. above 7 yrs old, the child is given a chance to decide which parent will he/she wants to be with. that is based on the Family Code of the Philippines. if proven guilty & has enough strong evidences (if you win), both parties will be incarcerated. the girl in BOC while your hubby in BJMP. i just don't know the amount you're going to shell out from this case.
