Underappreciation of Fathers

Unfortunately not everyone is open to the idea of full equality, and some still raise their children with gender roles. Girls get dolls and easy bake oven's, while boys get dump trucks and tool sets. I am a stay at home dad and have always wanted to be one, when my wife told me she was pregnant we discussed what was important to us in raising our child. We also don't have family close enough to help with child care, and the thought of working 75% of my time to pay someone else to raise our child just doesn't make sense. Especially when we have the means to do it our self. My wife has a good job that she excels at which makes it possible for me to stay at home. I'll admit I struggle at cleaning but I can cook and I do that very well. When people ask questions directed at my wife I will sometimes answer and notice that they either say oh and the query ends there, or they ask another question and emphasize that it was directed at my wife with body motions. I personally find it amusing to watch peoples reaction when we tell them that I stay home, most people think it's neat others actually find it disgusting. I just smile and proudly walk away with my head held high.

i know a lot of great fathers, and i guess it depends on the person. many people have there set ways they were taught when they grow up, such as women take care of the kids and me go off and work. and a lot of people still believe this. i dont think this is every going to change but maybe in he future and roles of men and women are starting to change we may seem some difference. its seems the older people are less accepting of this then younger ones, and thats just because of the way they were raised, and thats the way life was for them.

I guess most people just assume the mother knows more. You are very fortunate to have a husband that participates so much. Many fathers don't. They view themselves as the breadwinner and spend more time working. I'm saying in most cases. I think you have an exceptional husband and don't forget to tell him that every now and then because it is harder to come by then you realize.

Because most fathers wouldn't know.Your husband is doing what a father is suppose to do and so many fathers don't,so yes it's unusual to others in this day and time.Your husband is a good man I for one applaude him for being responsible enough to handle what he helped create.

Well, it's pretty rare that men know more about their kid than the mother so people presume. People presume all the time. Your son is lucky. My ex is the same with our daughter and my other ex is so useless when it comes to our 2 kids!

your husband is such a responsible father,he knows what is the best of his son.father is know most his duties than a mother.he would teach his experiences what man can do.just like me i love to see my husband taking care of my son and teach what is good and bad.

That's a good question to ask cause people do it all the time like the daddy don't know My childrens father spends lots of time with them and he knows everything it is to know about his kids but when it come down to things like the doctors or dentist offices they always ask me when he is right there with me straight but it happens all the time.

For years most men didn't really know about their kids. They worked full time and didn't see much of them. Society still thinks that is true and it didn't help that many men wouldn't help out with the kids for a long time. When my neice was a baby my father took her out a lot. Well when she was old enough to have some french fries he'd taken her to Burger King. This one women kept staring at them and he finally asked her what was wrong. She was wondering where the woman was and when she found out my dad had her out alone this woman got a shocked look on her face. "They let you take her out alone," She asked him. He thought that was funny but told her yes. Then she asked "Well what if she needs changing?" My dad told her he takes her in and changes the diaper, no big deal. "My husband would never do that." The woman told him and then walked away bemused. He told us this and we just laughed. I feel for her since her husband won't help out and I got the impression most of the men she knew were the same way.

I worked nights for years so I could be up with my children. I would sleep 15 - 16 hours per week so I could be with my kids while my wife worked. I enjoyed being with them so much but it was hard work. It is nice to see you appreciate a Father's work. I bet you work just as hard as a parent, though. Do not discount that.

My husband spends alot of time with our son, even is involved in being a scout leader so there could be a tiger den this year. If I could get him to spend a little more time with his daughter, then we would be in good shape. We had a similiar situation with are schedules also before our son started regular school. He worked dayturn and I worked afternoons. This way we didn't have to pay for daycare, and someone else wasn't raising our children. Now when it comes to Dr. appointments, school appointments, or anything like that he is totally lost. LOL I think most people just figure mom stays home and knows all about the kids. I noticed that even the school sends home messages and notes all address to Mrs. instead of something like The Parents Of: etc. I think that is just how society views motherhood. We are just suppose to know it all I guess!

I think times are changing, and it is still the majority of men that work and the women who know more about the lives of the children. Your situation is just different, and all you can do is state the truth to anyone who asks questions. Just say, "Dustin's primary caregiver is his daddy, so you had better ask him that question, right honey?"

I get that alot too. My husband spends more time doing stuff withthe kids bcause my work schedule was crazy. I just quit my night job so I could focus on my family more and my 11 year old daughter was like "does this mean no more pizza and movie dates with dad on Saturdays after the little ones go to bed?" I felt like was imposing, though I know she didn't mean it like that. I think people always ask the moms because it's just assumed the mom is always "in the know." My hubby works 65 hours a week and always makes time for the kids, he's even coaching our 4 year olds soccer team this year! In our house we're always busy, but make time for our kids and each other. It also felt good to know I'm not the only one in this position.

I think its a sad thing. I guess they assume the dad is like most dads and doesnt know his kid. I know my dad when I was growing up used to take me and my sister on little dates on Saturday mornings. We'd switch off. Usually we'd get breakfast, then go to the park and feed the ducks. It was tons of fun. I think its sad today that dads arent appreciated. You should have your husband either only answer the questions (you not there) or just answer instead of you. See what happens then! :)

You are very lucky! My husband too is very hands on with three of our kids, never had a nanny, it has alwaybs been the two of us, and really i appreciate all his efforts, though i dont feel it is an effort from him. I hope all fathers would really invest a lot of time and emotions for their kids too.

because it is by nature that people see that women are the care givers and men are the bread winners in the family. my husband and your husband are the same... he likes to take care of my son so much... when i looked at the two of them always playing, i really feel that i am so lucky having him for a husband and a father.

I realize the same thing, and I think it might just be out of habit (a horrible habit). It has been for so long that the mother raises the child, the father works to support the family...and it's still considered a new thing (even though it's been happening for what seems like an eternity) that a father is the primary care giver. Just people and their old school views. :)

That drives me crazy when people have such a hard time understanding that dads know about their kids, too! Not too long ago my son had a doctors appointment and we both went. They couldn't find his chart for some reason so they started asking us questions again. Or starting asking me I should say. The girl asked his length at birth and my husband said "21 3/4 inches" She just kept looking at me and never even acknowledged that my husband had said anything! So I repeated it again. And she was like "oh wow he was tall! How much did he weigh?" My husband answered again and once again she ignored him. Finally he just gave up on even answering her, but I found it rather annoying still. I mean, why shouldn't he know how big his baby was at birth? Is it normal for fathers to not know? Especially since our baby is only 1, his birth is still a relatively recent experience. Anyway, when we were leaving she was telling me what I needed to bring for his next appointment. I said "Well, it might just be Daddy with him next time." And she was just so surprised. It almost made me laugh. I just don't get why people don't accept that dads take good care of their children, too.

ypu're lucky to share such obligation with your husband.. There are some husband that's so clueless in taking care of their children.. My husband was clueless before, but he's good now. He works and after that he spends time with our daughter, there were times that he's the one giving her bath. My daughter loves her daddy so much!

Parents should best friend of the children . Appreciation might lead to miracles. At the same time , under-appreciation spoils the child's mind. It leads to mental problems. Kids feel lonely and hesitated. when the environment oppose or comments , parents must be the best guide and support.

I know a lot of men who are excellent and "involved" parents. I guess when people don't acknowledge the father, it's just a case of them hanging onto old "traditional assumptions" about male and female roles in parenting. I'm sot suggesting it's fair, merely that it seems to be a fact of life.