what would you do if u knew the child u gave birth to didnt belong to your ex?
By dbeamon
@dbeamon (128)
United States
February 11, 2007 10:49am CST
my son is not my ex-husbands yet he has custody and i have to pay child support. would u tell ur son or would u leave it alone. my son is now 14. some of his other bro and sis have told him that he is not there dads. what should i do? also would u have the dna done to prove this so that he wouldnt have to live in this situation?
2 people like this
3 responses
@fabwisp (1327)
•
11 Feb 07
Oh my! What a horrid situation to be in. Does the father know?
To be honest unless there is a really good reason to tell the truth now I think I would let sleeping dogs lie as they say.
I don't know the ins and outs but I'm guessing that your son has allready had trauma in his life, is there really any need to add more to it?
Good luck with this. If you would like to chat at any time message me privately and whilst I might not offer any good advice I'll always listen! xxx
@dbeamon (128)
• United States
11 Feb 07
thanks for your response. yes the father knows in fact a few yrs ago he wanted to have the dna done so that he would know for sure but his new wife told him no. that it wouldnt change anything. yes he has had trauma. when he was younger his step mom told his dad it was either her or my son so they split up. a few months later they got back togather bc she had his lil girl.
1 person likes this
@ScrappinHappyMom (914)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I think you should leave it alone. This boy has been through enough and he is going thru some of the most important times in his development right now. He needs his father this is the time when there are questions and situations that will come up that really only a father can handle. Also if you tell him now he will be so angry with that it could ruin your relationship.
I think you sound a little more angry about paying child support than you are actually thinking about what is good for your son right now.
Maybe you should tell him when he is older and ready to handle a shock like that.
@ScrappinHappyMom (914)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I apologize in your post I didn't see anything about him mistreating your son. I suppose then I would have to change and say yes you should go for DNA testing in order to gain custody of your son back.
@dbeamon (128)
• United States
11 Feb 07
no im not angry about paying child support. what im angry about is the fact that he doesnt care about my son. if he did he would let his wife attack my boy the way she does. if he actually cared about him it would be different. he cant talk to his dad bc when he does his dad wont listen. my son has tried to run away from home bc his dad doesnt care and take up for him with his stepmom when she treats him wrong and he is in the right. i understand that as a teenager there are many developments in his mind and body. i would never do anything to hurt him. however i think it would be better if it came from me and not his lil bro or sis. his dad will do anything to keep him and my daughter away from me and this is what my kids dont like. they enjoy being with me. and before you say it no im not easy going on them they have responsibilities at my home as well as at there dads.
1 person likes this
@sharon613 (2321)
• United States
11 Feb 07
If he is old enough; I would sit down and have a long heart to heart talk with him just to let him know what's going on.
@dbeamon (128)
• United States
11 Feb 07
thats what i was thinking but im afraid he will hate me over this and my son and i are very tight. my husband says that he wont hate me but he would use it as leverage against my ex. should i give him the oppurtunity to have the test done or just do it?
