mother and father-in-law inlove

I can understand your feelings of hurt and pain from this situation. But I also understand that your mother and father in law have rights too. They aren't doing this to hurt you - they happened to find each other. You mention you are in your 30's - that would mean your mother and father in law must be in their 50's or 60's. The chances of finding another eligible partner significantly diminishes with age. If they have decided they care for each other - who has the right to interfere? I think it probably causes both of them a lot of pain that you are unhappy. I think no matter how difficult it is, you should accept it. I know that in your heart you know better - this isn't gross, this isn't incest, they are totally unrelated. Try to find a way to make peace with it. Give these people your blessing so they can move on with their lives too - whether it be together or not.

Why on earth would you begrudge either of your parents the happiness that love can bring them? And it most certainly isn't incest. It's not like you and your partner were raised together in one household, so I don't get where you're getting the creepy incest vibe from. We can't pick who it is that we fall in love with and, personally, I would embrace the fact that they both found love and enjoy the irony of them loving each other. After all, you both came from them, and you love each other too, right? If the Father is working for you and that's something that you would prefer to keep your mother out of it, then sit down and set some ground rules for his employement. It's not out of line and, as an employee, he would be required to follow the rules or risk losing his employment. There have to boundaries, but my advice would be to congradulate your parents and wish them every happiness or risk alienating two very important family members.

I think the best way is to talk to your mom about it, about how you feel, and about how you and your partner disagree about her relationship with your father in law. But, you must also listen to her reasons. Remember, she's you mom, meaning that she's a real mature woman, a real adult, and as you say that she's really good with money, she should be really good with everything she decides too. She's responsible for all she does, and although people say that love is blind, she won't be blinded by it. And you should also talk to your father in law to stop talking to your mom about things you don't want her to know, or you won't make it easy on his relationship with your mom.

Personally if the two was happy. I wouldn't really care at all. I would be happy for them. Espically since they found love so late in life. Would it bother you if it was someone else your mother was in a relationship just like your father in law? If the answer is no. Than I would let it go. The more you push them apart. The closer they may become.

I would let it play it's course. Nothing you say or do will make them change anything anyway. Maybe if you show your mom that you accept this, she will back off from the relationship. As a woman you should know your mom has needs. You might as well let it play out. I don't think she's going to let this man handle her money since she knows his history. Maybe you can try helping her meet other men. That might be just as weird, but it will get her away from your father in law. Good luck with this matter.

i'll suggest u to talk to ur parents abt this 1st n then if u dont get any soln, then let them live as they want, ater all they r the owners of their own life.

I agree that you must feel awful, but you really can't change their minds sorry to say. They're grown ups, after all. I'm sorry to say!

Actually.... it is none of your business, I am afraid. You may not like it, but your mother and your father in law are two consenting adults, and there is nothing you can do about it. And you should not want to do about it. You must trust their capacity of making the right decisions for themselves. On the other hand, in regard to the working relation with your FIL: don't dicuss private matters when he is around. You don't want your mum hearing everything (and right you are, you have your own life), so "mum" is the word. Whatever your FIL does not hear, he cannot discuss with your mum. Good luck with "keeping a distance"...!

Give me a break and grow up! Its none of your business what they do and certainly isnt incest unless you and your boyfriend are related, too! Your mom is old enough to know what she wants and if she ants him and he, her, there isnt anything you can do about it. You can talk to her about his heavy drinking, but maybe she has a different definition about 'heavy'. Meanwhile, keep out of their relationship. You wouldnt want them messing in yours, now, would you?

Sweetheart,leave your parents alone.SO what if they want to be together.If you have a problem with it then that's your problem and only you can solve your problem.If the problem is too much cross communication then slow your roll and choose your words carefully.Look if you and your husband had this same negativity towards your relationship I am sure the two of you wouldn't have appreciated it.Remember these are the same people that you admired and trusted while growing up so don't think because you are all grown up you know so much that you can tell others what makes them happy.You need to let them be happy together even if it only last a short time.Some happiness is better than none and who knows how long any of us have here on earth.If it doesn't work out so what?Who's to say your relationship will be forever.Live and let live.That's love.

I think the more you tell them you dont want them together The more that they will try to stay together. Kind of like a rebelious teenage couple! You could just not talk to his dad about things you dont want your mom to know, if you distance yourself from them it'll be better for you. After the novelty wears off they might realize that they are not right for eachother on their own. It's not really insest because they are not related by blood, but i agree with you that it would SURE be creepy. I would be uncomfortable too. But its their lives and you dont really have a right to tell them how to live it.

I understand how you must feel. But they are both adults and should be able to see each other. As far as yur mom she should be able to see what kind of man your father inlaw is and after a while she will leave him. The more you stay after them then the more they are going to want to be with each other. Back off a little and see what happens.

You're not going to like hearing this but.......you should do nothing. If they are truly in love then you can't stop that no matter what you do or say. If they are just going through a fling, it will end on it's own soon enough and believe me when I tell you, you don't want to take either side on that one. You and your husband both love your parents as part of the same family and that is understandable. Perhaps, you could try to look at it as his brother and your sister falling in love. I know of a few couples where brothers or sisters have married the brother or sister-in-law. There are no blood ties there, only legal. It's actually the same thing if you are able to view it in this manner. At any rate stay out of the middle of anything having to do with this relationship. I can understand why this situation makes you uncomfortable but in the end what will happen, will happen and it's really out of your hands. Good luck and best wishes for a civil outcome.

... i think your mom knows what's good for her..and may be he's just longing of a partner's love and affection..from a husband may be....

Well unfortunately it is thier life. They are adults and if they are happy together then I think you just have to find a way to deal with it. You may want to limit what you tell the father-in-law...and try to have conversations with your mother. They say opposites attract...so that is probably what is happening now. However...it can also break up a relationship. You just have to let them be...and whether they stay together or break up that is thier business.

You must try to tell your mum, father in law is heavy drinker, it is not suitable fall in love this kind of person, try to advice your mum.

Sadly, your mom is a big girl, she can look after herself.

Sadly, your mom is a big girl, she can look after herself.

They say opposites attract, it is quite the difficult position to be in. Some men would prefer to be women that is loaded with cash especially if they have bad spending habits or lack it. It must be awkward for your Father-in-law to be your step dad at the same time. A couples discusses everything, this is what can make problems at a work place when people are related. I have seen with my own eyes seeing the problems it has created for people not just small ones. Get your daugther to take her dad aside and tell him that it is causing problems for you to be employed with us kind of deal etc... Since you are in a employee/employer relationship with your father-in-law since it is not working maybe he can find employment elsewhere it continues to put strain in your lives, such havoc or instigation, this is what an alcholic is capable of doing and not being responsible for thier own actions.

I've had a similar experience of this kind before and I fell really negative about this!! As for my own story, I could barely do anything as for my part but they were separated a few years ago after a while as my mother couldnt stand it. I was lucky that I got out of hell before I could imaging. Lastly, I feel really sorry for you