Whats your secret to a Happy Marriage / Relationship?
By ukchriss
@ukchriss (2097)
13 responses
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
12 Feb 07
Your nan gave very good advice. I believe we have to compromise a lot and never take each other for granted. Never argue - just agree to differ. We are now heading into our 39th year of marriage and these have worked for us.
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
12 Feb 07
One word that I always adhered to in any relationship I've had previously and that is "COMPROMISE" It probably sounds blatantly obvious, but it can lead to so many arguments and bad feeling between a couple, if one person doesn't compromise or isn't willing to give any ground. I was always told about never going to bed on an argument too. My relationships never worked probably because they weren't prepared to compromise!
2 people like this
@shoelover (896)
• Australia
12 Feb 07
If something is really peeving you off wait until you are calm before you sit down and talk about it. Sitting down and talking about a problem is much better than yelling and getting things misconstrued.
2 people like this
@patootie (3592)
•
12 Feb 07
I don't think it's any good asking me what makes a happy relationship .. because I haven't yet found out .. I thought I knew THREE times, it all seemed perfectly fine to me .. but all three chappies faded away out of my life for various reasons ..
I suppose the only way to get a really good relationship is to find someone is as besotted with you, as you are with him/her ..
2 people like this
@koverman32 (154)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I would agree with the don't go to bed angry thing and also give each other space. Space is so important not to smother them and both still always have your own thing going on and then do things together too
2 people like this
@Withoutwings (6992)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I think the most important thing is communication. Even if you have been together forever, you can't read each other's minds. If you always keep an open line of communication you can usually head of a lot of problems.
1 person likes this
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
13 Feb 07
Chriss, The only thing that I have ever required of a relationship is that my partner not do anything that he/she would not want/respect me doing the same; and the same applies for me.
That sounds a bit complicated but to simplify it: If a co-worker were to ask me out for drinks and dancing after work one evening and I really wanted to go (he is kind of a "hottie" and nothing is going to happen I rationalize); I would first have to:
-Stop
-Think, If this were my spouse would I approve of it?
-If the answer is yes, go ahead, go and have a great time
-If the answer is no, get the heII home where I belong
This method has served my spouse and I very well for 25 years ~Donna
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I agree that it's good never to go to bed angry. That's always sound advice! I still think that the best way to keep a relationship happy and loving is to make sure that you let your loved one know every single day that you care for them. Do little things to make them smile. Never once forget that a relationship never ends, you have to work at it - but it should not ever 'feel' like work. It should always be pure joy of making the other person happy, and them wanting to do the same for you in return. THis is what I would give anything to find in my own life... this kind of love.
@sechsey (1831)
• Canada
28 Feb 07
We have this around in a wall decor that says the very answer to your question. :)
Never both be angry at the same time.
Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
Never bring up mistakes in the past.
Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
At least once everyday try to say one kind or complimentary word.
WHen you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it.
It takes two to make a quarrel and the one in the wrong is the one who does most of the talking.
@aling_tindera (259)
• Philippines
12 Feb 07
You're right...that's what I would say too - Don't go to bed angry. However, I really don't think that there is an exact formula or secret for a happy relationship. But for me and my beau, our strategy works. We talk over things in a very calm manner. No matter how frustrated we are, we never raise our voices and yeah...we don't allow ourselves to sleep with a heavy heart =)
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
13 Feb 07
I guess love and maturity. We accept each other the way we are, and understand we both are responsible for our own success and failures in relationship. It takes two to tango. In desperate times we hold on to each other that's how we got our strength to keep going. I love him and therefore trust and respect him, he does the same to me.