kids with 2 homes

I deal with a similar situation but it is my boyfriend's 15 year old son. Every time he goes to his mothers he comes back with a bad attitude. He swears a lot and thinks he can do whatever he pleases. It takes days to undo and then its time for him to go back. He goes there every other weekend and every Thursday. You can try talking to her dad and see if he will try to keep the rules close to yours. It didn't work for us. Sorry I don't know what else to tell you. Just know that you are not alone and this is only the beginning.

I went through this with my stepson. His mother had very strict rules at her house, unreasonably strict in my opinion. We ended up having a meeting with her to discuss the rules that we could agree on for both households. Her big thing at her house was that he eat what was prepared for dinner. It made her mad that I would make dinner for my husband and I and then make something else for him. I agreed and then made things that he liked when he was over. I had her implement timeouts when he misbehaved instead of harsher punishments like denying him food. Her favorite punishment was sending him to bed without supper. Could the two of you try to agree on some basic rules for both homes?

This is a tough one. Especially since she' so young. But I would advise you to explain to her that although she was at her father's house, she is in a different household where there are different rules. I think it's just a subject of adapting because she's so young.

It sounds as if your ex and you have to sit and discuss some common rules for your daughter to make the transition easier for her. My ex and I share custody but he shows a total lack of respect for my household and now my home is showing it because my daughter doesn't respect me as the authority figure here. She's three but this is a hard time and while she may understand the concept of different homes, different rules, she's confused because it's Mommy's home and Daddy's home.

Try talking to her father about it, It's good for the child to keep adjusting. She is getting very confused, she might think that her father is the good guy and your the bad guy.

man do i sympathise with you !!! my ex was exactly the same with our kids, my son was on a restricted sugar diet so we did almost the same with the girls (to be fair) but on the weekends he had them he met them at the car with lollies , then all weekend and then just before he bought them home to me. i talked , yelled and screamed and nothing worked, the only thing i found was that when they came home i would say to each of them quietly, we are at home now and we have mummys rules. i dont think it helped realy until they were a little older like 8-10 other than that i would sit her down and explain that was not acceptable and this was how we do it here. timeout worked but only for me.....sorry i cant offer anything better i hope this helps

hi my dear, if it is difficult to you, i think it is more difficult to your daughter,because she is adjusting to two different households, she is only three years old, please do not impose rules to her. give her time to enjoy both worlds.and transition is way too hard for her, when she grow up she will surely know both household rules and you do not have to tell her what you mean.and she will soon realize it... good day to you,,happy parenting... this is my own opinion, i respect the others, i did not mean to offend you or the others,,,goodluck,,

my step-children come to visit us everyother weekend, when they are here my husband is the softy and lets them get away with everything while my children dont. they live with his exs mother-in-law(long story). when my kids go to their fathers it takes my all week to get him back on schedule. with my step-kids i feel like a drill instructor,and i hate feeling that way. i do love them and theyve been in my life since they were babies. now theyre teenagers and they think they can get away with anything when they come here. they think that because their dad doesnt enforce the rules,they can do what they want. i have no idea how to help you. i am hoping that this will stop at some point. i hope things get better with your situation.

LOL-- I feel your pain.. I'm in the same boat-- My daughter goes to her dads mostly every other weekend. She is 10-- She has been doing this since she was 3. He is lax and lets her get away with everything. It is just the 2 of them... When she comes home she is different- Disrespectful at times to my fiance.. Let me say it gets better as they get older- I only have to say to my daughter a couple of times on Sunday- Check yourself. or that attitude is not welcome here- She looses her privledges if she is not nice and respectful.. All I can say is bear with her-- She is young and it is different to go from house to house-- She will get it.. Just keep telling her the rules and that you expect her to behave. Then again she is only 3.. Good luck!

you are only giving your daughter confusion. children her age or any other children adapts very rapid to different situations and sometimes they carry it with themselves. very major factor would be her environment. what others do she adapts it without any questions because she sees it happening. let her be her own self. when she is old and becomes mature, she would understand how to handle situations. in the meantime, give her freedom. or you will only confuse her more.

My children are much older (12,8 and 7) and have just recently entered this type of situation. I have found similar problems though, especially with bedtime as their father seems to have completely forgotten that our children DO have bedtimes. It is a fight now to get the younger ones to go to bed on time. I just keep telling them there is a reason we have a bedtime and I'm hoping it will start to stick soon. But it's been almost six months and I am still having these problems.

i know the feeling i go threw the same thing every other weekend.mine are 7 and 11 when they are there they are completely out of control. have the time they dont have supervision like they should and man oh man when they come back they are really different then when they left. it takes me quite awhile to get it out of them and by then its his turn again. i myself havent found an easy solution's but to take things away and by telling them that they are not at their dads anymore that they need to learn to realize that. im not sure what to tell you except i know how you feel. at 3 its more confusing im sure then with my two but i do wish you he best of luck

this used to be a really big problem in my house. i have a stepdad who has a daughter and a son. they used to spend a week at their mothers and a week here and so on. their mother has the tendency to baby them and let them get away with a lot. so when they came over it would take a couple of days for them to realize they can't behave badly here and if they do, they will be punished. my parents had to start over every other week with them. it's got to be hard on the kids. to go from one lifestyle to another every other week. just keep enforcing your rules upon her and don't give in. eventually she'll start to understand.

3 of my 5 children go to there dads every weekend and a couple weeks in the summer and holidays are strange. they are not you typical he gets them one year I get them the next. Well anyway I will tell you that IT DOES GET BETTER. I no it is hard right now with her being so little. I have a 3 year old that daddy adores and spoils wayyyyy to much and I get to deal with it when she is home. I no it gets tiring but you just have to keep telling her that it is not the way she acts at mommies house. it is hard and it will take some time and it is very. I say god bless and good luck hope everything works out.

I don't but my sister's husband has 3 kids that are this way. They come over on the weekend and go back to their mom's during the week the oldest two mind really well I have watched them they are fine but the youngest she always added that her momma lets her do something. Like one day my sister was getting her lunch she wanted a Milk shake and Fries and my sister told her no you need to eat either chichen nuggets of a hamburgar instead. She got a little mad but that is the rules.

Thats something very bad. It will affect the child very badly in his future and mental stability. Hope that parents will think of this and make adjustment

yeah...i totally understand ur problem here...it is reallly teribble for the mother in this situation...not only for the mother & also for the babies....she is only 3 years old...this is the time...she can learn behaviour & every thing......according to me...mommmy is the only solution for every baby to teach themm nice behaviour with little love 8 toughness... what i'm thinking..i really feel sorry for the kids..bcz the kid s would t stay with both mom & dad.. my suggestion for the situation is...just tell her softly what is goo dfor her...u can express ur feeling bytellling her bed time story...to remind her which is good for her.....