Would this bother you?
By somnolence
@somnolence (460)
United States
February 12, 2007 2:33am CST
Would it bother you if you were divorced and shared custody and your ex was moving in a with someone he met only six months ago? Would you want to meet the person before your child lived with them?
8 responses
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
12 Feb 07
I think that i would be cautious yes, but really what can you do ? If its court ordered there really isn't anything you can do but try to get full custody, i mean it does say something about your ex that he's ready to move in with someone after only 6 months of dating, Would you want full custody ? you may be able to swing it.
@somnolence (460)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I don't think I'd have the energy to do full custody. I have to have alot of outside help from my parents as it is.
My ex and I have several mutual friends still, so I talk to them and they think she is a good person. My daughter only met her once for a couple of days over Christemas break but she says she likes here too. I'm not super worried about the girl, more about the stability of the relationship, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it.
@beautifulceiling (1300)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Yes! Meet them, find out everything you can about them, and if possible have an open line of communication with them. I don't want to alarm you, but even if they're not a pedophile or a criminal, I've learned the hard way that custody often becomes an issue when a step-parent comes along (and even if they're not getting married it could do the same thing). It changes the equation and is a common trigger for parental alienation syndrome.
Hopefully this person will be delightful and there will be no problems but it doesn't hurt to be careful.
@somnolence (460)
• United States
12 Feb 07
My daughter told me that her dad said they are going to get married, but she said he didn't say if it was going to be soon or not.
@hcromer (2710)
• United States
22 Mar 07
It would bother me and if my child were going to live with them, they would have to meet me first. I wouldn't trust any one who was my ex to watch my child along with some other random woman. You should meet all the important people in your child's life and I think that roommate falls into that category.
@aditya_tanha4u (153)
• India
31 Mar 07
ya it will bother me if my love once is moving with someone else....yes i wan't to meet to that person's..if it is not me fault due to which we get separated....then i will tell that person to look after my love..& my kid's....if it's mnot my fault then i'm going killl that bastered...if i willseee him with my love....
@koolraj_inlove (842)
• India
22 Mar 07
a buddy i will definetly be concern with that person who is going to be with my wfe and the children,if i ever had and i get in this situation, i will see whether he is a genuine and a respected fellow in the society,about his background,past relationships if he had any,and definetly his behaviour with his colleagues.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
22 Mar 07
If he loves his daughter, then you may have to just trust his judgement for a while. I can relate to how you must be feeling, but you have to consider that the new woman may not be ready to meet you.
You need to talk to your ex and express your concerns about this new person. Then you need to talk to your daughter about how she feels, because no matter how hard it is for you, it is always hardest for the children, whether they show it on the outside or not.
@nw1911guy (1131)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Absolutely. I would go as far as asking for a criminal background check. How do you know what this person's record is?
@praveen_dupatte (4)
• India
12 Feb 07
offcourse i will because it is necessary.
u arer divorced from husband/wife but not from your childrens.
even they step parent they need u.
so u need to know about the fellow with whom ur childrens are going to live.
will he/she take care of them like u.
