Are you going to marry to change your partner,and expect that he/she can change?

You are very right. It's really hard to change someone when he grew up that day. But we're wishing to change them for the better right? That's what I don't understand too. It's so disappointing. :-(

I can only quote this: "women enter marriage expecting her husband to change but he doesn't, men enter marriage expecting the wife not to change but she does" It's a matter of how you see it, I'm sure at first he thought you accepted him the way he was, and then something changed... and he must be suffering for it too. Personally I believe in true love, "the other half", so until then and perhaps even then, no marriage. I also don't fully understand why people get married haha, other than pleasing the church (and the tailors and flower sales)

Dont change you or him. You need to learn to love each others differences. If you were both the same things would get boring fast.

You cannot change a person neither before marriage nor after. Sometimes the "bad" things tend to be more noticed after you get married. Also it depends on what his bad things are. If he likes other women I would change him but if he leaves a messy bathroom after he showers - all men are like that or most of them. I think your husband doesn't want anybody to tell him what to do and that is why he is defensive. Sometimes I find saying a word really sweetly does miracles on my husband. If I just blurt the word out during a heated discussion, the probability is that he would not do the thing I asked.

I don't really think anyone should get married unless they can accept their partner as they are. Obviously there can be things you dislike about someone, but you have to be able to say "I can live with that". If you can't, then it's a mistake marrying them. That's not to say that people never change for the better, just that you can't make it an expectation in your relationship. If you are really unhappy with your partner as he is now, then you're likely you're going to continue to be unhappy with him. Either you need to be more accepting of his faults, or you need to move on. Unless of course his faults include anything that is abusive towards you, in which case you just need to move on. No accepting allowed!

Marrying someone is a decesion in life we take because we really believe we love that person for who really he is and If we try to change him for something we really want him to be then he is not the same person you married at all. Acceptance is a one key to marriage that it will surpass the test of time, there are really certain things we dont want with our husband but we should not force him to change him overnight it tooks a lot of patience and understanding in able for him to really feel that you are really after for a change for the better and not for anything else and besides if he really loves you then he too is very willing to take a try to change for what you believe that he is going to be a better man.

I think you should be fully ready to accept your partner before you get into marrying him. You shouldn't get caught by false hopes that he will still change in time. Because usually, it doesn't happen. Wraithstrider http://wraithstrider.bravehost.com

When you get married, you accept the person for all his characteristics, not just the good ones. If the person changes for the better, it should be of his own accord. If not, remember you married him so you should be able to accept those undesirable traits.

only gods word can change a man....., people rarely change

I don't think you should ever get married in order to change someone, they will resist this change. If you love someone it should be for who they are not for who you think they could/should be.