Spolied Rotten
By indywahm
@indywahm (808)
United States
7 responses
@loved1 (5328)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I know this probably doesn't help much but I know what you are going through. You are also not going to like what I have to say. You are going to have to let him cry for a while until he gets over this. If you have an exersaucer, playpen, or highchair get them out and have a basket of his favorite toys around. You can put him in one of these things (or even lay him in a safe place on the floor) where he can see you and give him a toy. Keep talking to him and let him know you are not leaving but don't cave in. Keep switching the toys to keep him interested! It is a hard process but he needs to learn how to entertain himself.
1 person likes this
@thunderofsins (738)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I don't believe in the "cry it out" method. You CAN get a baby used to being left alone or going to sleep alone without leaving them to cry it out. It will take more work, but imo its worth it. The baby can't speak, he cant' say "mom are you going to come back" so instead he cries. Letting a baby cry it out teaches them that their fears and needs will be ignored. Thats not something I want to teach my baby.
2 people like this
@indywahm (808)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I do not believe in the let cry thing. He is only 5 months old and cannot comunicate too well. I am just going to have to take it slow with him . My son was like this as a baby and he is now the most independant of my 2 older kids. My daughter was not clingy as a baby and now is.
@loved1 (5328)
• United States
13 Feb 07
Just to clarify, I don't mean let him scream himself hoarse for an hour. I mean letting him fuss and talking to him the entire time but not holding him. I have been taking early child development classes for the last 3 years and that is what every college textbook I have had recommends. I would never say that a book is always right either though, sometimes you have to use mom sense. When my first child was small she was held often. When my second child was born I could not sit and hold one child all day and still take care of the housework and other child. By the time the third baby was born the other two had to have the skills to entertain themselves sometimes. What would you suggest for a person who has twins or triplets? Should they hire help so the babies can be held all day long and never ever be put down? What about the single mom? What should she do if she has not had a shower for three days or needs to use the restroom? I would never put a child in a closed room and let them cry endlessly, but if you don't teach them that you are not going to leave every time you are 2 feet away from them they are going to have a meltdown on their first day of kindergarten. I guess it all depends on the situation. I don't want to sound like a know it all, but I don't want anyone to think I am completely heartless either. lol
1 person likes this
@thunderofsins (738)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Start by putting him down but not going anywhere. Put him on the floor (on a blanket...with toys) and sit next to him, talking and playing. When he gets used to this work on moving further away. It'll take some work but he should get used to be left alone for short periods of time.
When you do put him down you should still talk to him. If you're on the computer he could be on the floor next to you and you can still talk to him. Just hearing your voice...even if its just you reading out loud what you are reading/typing will comfort him and help him to know that he has not been abandoned.
Good luck!
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
13 Feb 07
You have admitted what you have done. Time to begin to undo this. A baby 5 months old does need attention. He should also be able to play with brothers and sisters. Holding this child could be a family affair. Ours was crawling and getting into things at that age. It was so cute and fun to see them growing and advancing. Sure it was work, that was my job at that time. Good luck with this!!!
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Although, many will argue that you cannot spoil a baby at this age, I tend to disagree on some points. I do believe that if you condition a baby to feel like they need to be held at all times, they will come to expect this. But it is not too late to change her and your behavior. Put her down, with some toys, let her play until she begins to fuss. After she starts fussing, talk to her for a couple of minutes.. trying to calm her down with the sound of your voice.. she may surprise you and calm down on her own. As long as her needs are met, and she's not hungry or tired, there is nothing wrong with letting a baby this age cry for acouple of minutes before you go get her.. Its a phase every parent goes through, but remember you are setting her up for the habits she'll keep later in life.. It's difficult trying to hold a five month all day, think about a fifteen month.. it's in your best interest to try to fix this, even if it means some crying here and there. Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@ScrappinHappyMom (914)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I say just hold him. I don't think you can give a child too much love and comfort. My daughter was a clingy baby she is slowly starting to completly out grow it. She has started falling asleep by herself and wants to play alone in her room. Sounds crazy but sometimes I miss holding her. So I say hold him all day if he wants it wont be long until all he wants is a quick hug.
@im_anna (717)
• Philippines
12 Feb 07
babies are like that, they love being with their mothers, they want their mothers touch, mother's warmth, they want to hear their mother's voice. babies don't get spoiled at that age. They are like "newly formated hard disk", that whatever you put in it, it is always absorbed. As a mother, I practiced "attachment-parenting". In a few years time, your baby would be independent. is this your 1st time as a mother?
@brihanna (381)
• United States
12 Feb 07
You are not doing anything wrong!!!! Your baby loves you. You are his world! His source of wonder, food, contentment, knowledge, love, humor. My son was like that for about 2 months. It is hard. He is almost a year now, and is much more indepedent, although has to come and at least touch me about every 15 minutes.
Try to imagine what it would be like to be in a foriegn land-where you don't know the language, or customs. Wouldn't you want to be close to a guide all the time? That is what your son is doing. You are his guide.
It can be very fustrating-put him in his crib and let him fuss for a bit if you need to have a break. It will get better-you aren't spoiling him-you are giving him a very safe and sound passage in this life
