My daughter was told she was too fat to be promoted

No, I have never had this happen to me. Or anyone I know either. That is terrible. A size 7-8 is not even fat. I would turn them into the labor board and tell her boss where to stick that job. I know that hurt her feelings especially if she already has self esteem issues. I hope everything turns out well. She really does need to turn them in though cause that is discrimination.

Hi Sue, that is so rude, even if she was huge it's bullying and unacceptable, I have never heard of anyting so awful, sexist bully! She should find someone to report this too, is there a personal department of something at the Company or is he the big boss? I would gently encourage her to find somewhere else to work if she really won't help stop this person, he may have done it before and if she stands up for herself now it may stop it worsening for her or someone else.

That is horrible. OMG. That is total discrimination. It is not his right to tell her she has to lose weight. That is sad. I would definitely be looking for another job. If she s going through the extra training, she should be able to find something better. I would also tell him that after I have found that job!!! What a pig!!! Maybe she should go to a doctor and get a statement saying she is at an ideal weight and should remain there and give it to him. I would find ways to rub it in his face, as I was leaving. I am assuming that they are not in a union, if so, I would definitely repot it to them. It is a shame she has to worry about losing her job if she reports him. I'm not sure I wouldn't anyway.

This has never happened to me or to anyone I know, but I agree with you it is wrong on every level. Even if she was overweight, this would be inappropriate. I wish that she would report him to the labor board and after that quit the job. I'm sure that he could be brought up on some type of charge for this discriminatory comment. I understand that she may be hesitant to do this because of the money, but no amount of money is worth that humiliation. How is she going to feel going in to work every day now? The best thing to improve her self-esteem would be to take a stand against this man and prove that she is worthy. Can you even imagine the other stunts that this guy has most likely pulled?

I think that it is very ufair, unkind, and unprofessional of her boss. She has rights as discrimination is against the law. There is even a good basis for a lawsuit. I know that these things happen, because I studied this , but it is sad to hear from a personal account, that it actually happened. I would talk to a lawyer, even if she is making good money, because she needs to stand up for herself. Also, she should consider other places to work, because she might want to press this issue further, but she will probably not want to stay there afterwards. She should weigh her options and choose the best course of action, and this is not before she gets legal counsel.

It's interesting that you start this discussion because I was already outraged when last week I was listening to a radio show where they were debating if it was ok to fire an airline stewardess because in the company's opinion she needed to loose 5pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only I got upset as I started to hear this show, but it only got worse when I hear caller's opinions agreeing with the company because she should look good too have that job. But good for who? What is looking good? IS it something that 5 pounds ( about 2 kg ) will change? Now in your daughter's situation the whole show comes to my mind and I'm feeling angre again. Why do they think they can judge anything other than her ability to do her job? What does a size 7-8, which seems pretty healthy to me - have to do with the way she performs at work, with what she can contribute for the company? Situations like this really upset me. And I hope that she is strong enough to report them as you suggested. But I understand how she is feeling right now, and the possibility of loosing what she had been working for does weight in her decision. FOr me however it is a question of principle. Which doesn't mkae me smart, just stubborn:) In my life i have refused some jobs that could bring me better financial outcomes than the ones I choose, just for a matter of principles - things I didn't agree with and felt had nothing to do with my performance at work. As a result I missed some good opportunities, but couldn't compromise what I believed in.

This is a really very sensitive issue. No Boss can advice likewise for reducing Fat. Not only it is unparliamentary, but also, it is an insult as well. In my country, there is a commission for working ladies where any female employee can lodge a complaint for being harrassed or assulted. Also there is labor commission to look into such matter. Whosoever the boss is, likely to be the owner of the construction company anyway, he is bound to abide by the laws as no one is beyond the perview of law. So far as my suggestion goes, ask your daughter to start seeking for a job in some other organisation and at the same time, ask her to report the matter to the Labor Deptt. or, to any other suitable commission. Everyone have the right to safeguard and protect his/her self-esteem. And it is a sin to digest such insults. Such sick bosses should be unmasked first. I really feel for her. Wish I could be there to offer the Boss a big slap. Sorry, but, I just can't control.

And this is why we have so many eating disorders in today's world. That man was totally wrong for what he told your daughter. They have many people who get turned down like this every day because they aren't "SKINNY ENOUGH". I honestly don't think that nothing can be done about it because if that was the case then there would be many lawsuits against this. Just let your daughter know that she is so much more than what her appearance is. Even if she was a little chubby, I'm sure she is a great person and that's all that matters in a good person's eyes.

I do belive that that is called discrimination and she would probably be the one left standing if she had the guts to report him. I do belive that she also sjhould coz even though she is embarrassed it will be hard for her to be in the company, pretending like he never said that!

I think that's a form of harassment, and she could report him for it. If someone said that to my child, I'd want to throw them through a window as well. If someone said that to me... I would probably tell them where to stick the job and quit. But I am fat, so atleast the person would just be being obvious. In her case, he is just a pig.

I have come across many managers etc who are biggoted, opinionated, sexist and so far up themselves that they are laughable. Most of them are blokes!!! And there are only two good things about them. The first is that they often have entertainment value with their ego's and the other is that they never stay around too long. If your daughter can't get promoted in this company then perhaps it is time to move on. It would be my guess that this guy either has the hots for her and won't admit it to himself. When this happens they often treat the object of their affections very badly or he feels threatened by her efficiency and talents.

I don't know what country she lives in, but in the Unted States this is illegal discrimination! She needs to talk to his supervisor (if there is one) or go further than that and consult an attorney. No one deserves to be talked to like this. She really shouldn't just sit there and put up with it, no amount of money is worth it. No job is worth your self esteem!

Aside from all the illegalities surrounding the boss's highly innappropriate comments -- why oh why would ANYONE think that a dress size of 8 is overweight. Sounds like one of the healthiest weight ranges to me. What kind of a society considers this a barrier to any career? Pfft. He's just one man and in my opinion an idiot. You mention she is smart and pretty. Ignorant, over-opiniated and biased criticisms from doofuses like her boss can be very cutting at a sensitive age like hers but as she grows into her 20's, I hope it only serves to make her stronger and give her the selfconfidence to rise above this. Regardless of good money, or feeling embarrassed to report, she needs to address this issue. Please don't let her ignore it, the decision she makes now will have a longterm impact on her sense of selfworth.

Im afraid that is not legal you are not aloud to stop someone from being promoted just because of there wait i think you should complain to the company personally and take them to court.

I haven't been through it, but i just wanted to add my sympathy for what your daughter is going through. That's absolutely ridiculous! Even if she were overweight, which you've said that she isn't, there was no need for her boss to tell her that she would never be promoted unless she were to lose weight! Talk about a devastating statement :( I can imagine how awful I would feel, and I spent my entire childhood quite overweight, and am probably never going to be really skinny in my lifetime. I'm just not bullt small, and my body seems to need a certain amount of food. Gah. I suffer from low self esteem, too, and I know how awful it feels to hear something hurtful like that. I wish that there were something your daughter could do. I know that she doesn't want to report the guy, and I can understand her embarrassment, but what that guy said seems out of line to me. I hope that he doesn't get off lightly for it, I hope that he gets in trouble somehow!

I would be livid, as well. That is flat-out discrimination and should not be tolerated. I am overweight myself and must recognize that being overweight may limit my ability to perform certain job duties. This does not sound like that sort of situation in your daughter's case. Please encourage her to take this up with her boss's supervisor. If she stands for this sort of treatment now, they will continue to treat her this way.

She needs a new job. I would never work for such a pig. I know that there are laws to protect the over weight that are considered disabled. But the reality is she was more sexually harrassed because she is not over weight. She has more tolerance then me because I would have slapped the pig and walked out.

Oh come on what does her weight have to do with anything. This is so disgusting. I would sue, this is discrimination and I would call Attorney Gloria Allred, she would LOVE to take this case! http://www.gloriaallred.com/CM/Custom/Contact.asp

I would be furious too. It shouldn't be let go. You need to call the labor board, ACLU, an attorney, or whatever. That is dispicable.

AGGGHHHHHHH this discussion has made my blood boil as a woman, as someone who's overweight and as someone who works in HR and knows that kinda talk could get you down an idustrial tribunal paying out thousands of pounds in the UK! I'm thinking of all nasty things to do to this man's private parts which involve a lot of pain for me and hopefully a lot of laughter from your daughter BLESS HER! But that aint going to help her now is it?! I agree she should report him. If there was some way she could have a similar conversation with him again and record it or have someone listen in it would be so ideal as she'd then have proof. If her cards are marked anyway, it doesn't matter that she's earning good money, he could be planning to get rid of her soon enough anyway. I can't imagine how awful you must be feeling for your daughter to have had to go through this experience. When she leaves her job I hope she leaves with a blinder like "Fat - you can lose; stupid - you can't!" x