If your spouse cheats, are you to blame too?

For the most part, I don't agree. The man or woman who cheats is the only one to blame. If a man/woman's spouse cheats on them and they think they are in the perfect marriage, then how is it there fault? And if the person who cheats tries to say stuff like "Well my spouse wouldn't have s e x with me anymore" or "They're a big jerk", then they should just divorce that person. If anyone wants to cheat, don't be in a relationship!

It's always 2 to tango. We all make mistakes. But when someone did something wrong or is not just good enough as a husband or wife, nobody deserves to be cheated while they were living together.

Women can be just a guilty as men in the dog department. But I do agree it is not always both who are at fault. Whether the dog is male or female, their just seem to be some people who cannot remain loyal to their respective spouse. I've seen it happen both ways and it happens alot.

I agree with you ~! sometimes it is both partners "fault" or lack of caring anylonger; sometimes one partner just sucks and doesn't care about the relationship enough anymore. I'm keeping it as "partner" instead of just "men" as I know several women who totally cheated on their husband who was a really nice guy. Maybe the one partner might be at fault for not seeing the signs that their partner is cheating, or for wanting to not believe it.

That is so Not true.The one that cheats is the one at fault.I was cheated on by my spouse and I was true to him.Men that cheat would like to lay some of the blame on his wife but thats just a cop out...I don,t care how Bad the marriage is ,there is always something beside cheating...Maybe your neighbors husband cheated and conned her into believing that (hog wash) but thats so not true..As you say some men are just dogs...I do know good women that has put their men on a silver platter and he cheated...

Some men are dogs and can't control themselves. However, sometimes there are other issues that lead to infidelity. For years, I blamed myself when my ex-husband cheated on me and then I realized that even though our marriage was not perfect, we were young and we really out-grew each other. We can sit and talk about it now because we are older and wiser. Every relationship is different. Many women and men just don't know how to express themselves.

No i don't think it is the other partners fault (man or women) if the other cheats. regardless if they are having problems in the marriage or relationship there are other ways to deal with it. If it is that bad that you have to cheat then you should just leave the relationship. Couples need to talk out there problems maybe the other partner didn't know there was a problem.

Well, for one thing, there's not really ever a good excuse for cheating. Because if you are having problems in your relationship, and not getting what you need, then there are options like counselling, or if all else fails, divorce.

Don't lay all the blame on the men. ;) Plenty of perfectly innocent husbands and boyfriends have been left cuckolded as well! :D I've cheated on guys and for no reason other than I was young and stupid. They certainly weren't to blame - they were nice guys that I got along well with. But... people make really stupid mistakes sometimes. Sure, there are cases when a partner is driven to cheating, but it's hardly the standard case.

Ok I might give that the marriage might not be that strong. But to blame the person that got cheated on is wrong. They didn't push the spouse to go find somebody else. Their lackof commitment did that. Some men and women can have a great marriage but they think the grass is greener on the other side and end up cheating and risking everything. Then they wonder why thier spouse left them. I wonder lol.

Well, my opinion is some guys just cheats and they are two-timers. Some wives are quite faithful and no men has no right to cheat on them.

I think that you've got a point. Men are sexually driven more than women are. It just seems like some of them have a hard time not cheating, even if they actually truly love their wives. I find it sad. I really do still think that men cheat more often because they feel sexually unsatisfied, whilst women are more likely to cheat because they feel emotionally unsatisfied. But I don't agree that there is always fault on both sides of the relationship. Some people are probably just prone to cheat, as sad as it is.

I think blame lays with the individual that cheated. Some people have the world and are still not satisfied.. How can that be the innocent persons fault? I think your neighbour has a very narrow minded view on life.

People cheat and it is their fault. Both men and women cheat, remember that. Sometimes the cheating comes as a result of a failing marriage or a marriage in which their needs (either physical or emotional) are not being met. That is not an excuse for their cheating, nor does it make it okay, it is simply a reason as to how it came about. Sometimes someone gets everything they need from their partner but they still cheat. It is the fault of the cheater and only the cheater. They chose to get married, they chose to cheat. If they really wanted to try to fix the problems at home they would have tried to fix them, not run off with someone else.

I definately think both are to blame BUT not equally...obviously the cheater has more on their doorstep (which btw its not just men that cheat, women do it too) but yes both are to blame..if you arent happy or if you think something suspicious is goin on you need to speak up..I'll never understand why ppl keep their mouths shut in a relationship...you gotta speak up and lay your cards on the table IMO...if more ppl in long term relationships did that I dont think there would be nearly the issues in couples that there are....

Wow--- She's pretty messed up. No I don't think it is the cheaters spouses fault. No matter what is going on in the relationship- you can always say.. Honey I'm just not happy anymore and I met someone else.. Break it off then do your thing- There is no excuse EVER for cheating... Marriage is trust-- even if you're not married but living together-- Cheating is wrong.. How could it be some poor women's fault that her husbands hormones were raging and he had too much to drink-- heck for all we know she could have been home waiting in a teddy for him... Just a thought

No.. the blame is of the husband, he is the one that commited the mistake. Of course the other part, the wife needs to analize the situation of the marriage, are ther happy, were at any time a s rtong couple, what about the children... in a normal couple.. when some of the parts cheats most of the time means that the love was not enough.

I absolutely agree with you . Many of the nice and honest wives are cheated by their husbands. This really hurts her when she came to know that her husband is involved with someone else. I think Some wives also cheat their husbands but in most of the cases , it is the result of carelessness of their husbands but some do that intentionally.

i dont ink so, bec. we are matured enough to know what right and wrong.. we should be responsible for the action we do..

Your idea that some men are just dogs is very level-headed, and yes your neighbor sounds like a jerk. In some cases women just let themselves go, and don't try to please their husbands anymore, but for crying out loud, Ryan Phillipe cheated on Reese Witherspoon, who is gorgeous and talented! Plus, you have to realize the biological mating instincts present in both male and female humans, and how they differ. For instance, men are programmed to 'spread their seed', but can be trained to live monogamously. Women are inherently driven to find one mate that will satisfy their needs and stick with him. So no, whoever cheats is the one who is guily, whether man or woman.