Motherhood vs. career

I think your children's welfare should come first. I was also working before my baby was born but my husband and I decided that it would be best for me to stay at home and care for the baby myself. I wasn't comfortable with leaving a small baby to a stranger and I want to be with her all the time.

I think it depends very much on how dire the situation is. If you and your husband absolutely cannot afford to pay the bills and put food on the table if you don't contribute financially then you've gotta do what you've gotta do. But if you're making ends meet and you don't HAVE to work, then discuss this with your husband. Why does he want you to work? If it's because he's worried about money than you could examine your finances, pinpoint exactly where your money is going, and see if you can't cut costs somewhere. Is there something you'd be willing to give up so that you can stay home? Also, focus on how much you're SAVING by not working. The cost of daycare and gas for the car can really add up. Is it worth it? Would you be making enough to justify that cost? It really sounds like you're not comfortable leaving your son with your chosen caregiver and, in your situation, staying at home seems like the most reasonable option. Explain to your husband that once your youngest is in school you'll go back to work, but until then your schedule just simply doesn't permit you to work.

i think motherhood is choice

I think we are in the same position if i am to decide i would rather stay home and be with my kids. By next month i will be leaving work and be a full time mum for my two kids, i am not really sure how bad things will be when i stay home and no salary but my husband should find ways to make ends meet. Good thing for me is that i have my mother looking after my eldest even if she is very busy and i call her everytime when im at work..always checking on my kid. Talk to you husband about this maybe both of you can find ways to solve this problem.

Mother gets a huge responsibility to take care of the child. Mother cannot concentrate fully if she is carrier oriented.Mother must take enough rest and be healthy. She has to make her child grow up healthy. proper care and hygiene has to given to the baby, it is not possible if she is busy with other work . Mother can become career based, but after the child comes out healthily.

i think,you could take care of children of other's, so you can look after your children, at the same time to work and earn money.

If you are not happy with this woman looking after your 1 year old, then no way should you leave her there - tell your husband that your foot is down on this one. If you think that you will be left short of sleep if you go back to work, are you saying your husband cannot be trusted because your ex couldn't be trusted? If you could both co-ordinate the childcare arrangements, this would be the best. Because the kids would be taken care of by their parents, and no body can do a better job, most of the time. But, if this is not possible, would it be an option for you to maybe watch some children in your home?

Does the job offset enough of the daycare cost for it to be worth it. Sounds like the day care provider isn't very good. I wouldn't risk something worse happening with the baby. I agree that you need to help out also. As well as he needs to help with the kids if you go back to work. How about caring for another child in your home. Would that be an option?

My first priority would always be my children and because of this if I were in your situation, I would sit down with your husband and show him on paper how much it is going to cost for child care, gas, bus tokens, and what ever other extra expenses there may be. I would also think about maybe watching a few kids at your home durring the day to help make some extra money and show your husband what you would save by staying at home and doing this kind of work. I know that your husband is probably feeling overwhelmed with having to take a second job but it really is not going to stop him from having to have this second job by sending you to work. Everything that you will make will just pay for all of new expenses that come with you not being home. I have made some very good extra money watching children durring the day and you usually get paid in advance for this.

In my opinion and I believe this is the right opinion. You should prioritise your children and be a stay at home mum taking care of children. Or, if you are feeling bored, you can find a working from home work or anything like that. cause if you leave your child in childcare too much, they will not create a great bond with you. But, if you always take care of them at home, you will be a great mum. Afterall, everyone can be a mother but not everyone can be a mum. I hope you can be a great mum to your children and leave a good mark on them when they grow up.

of course motherhood comes first.........u have to care for them bcoz u have brought them in this world........but that doesn't mean u will loose ur individuality......its always good to be self dependent.......if ur confident that u can manage both sides well then go for it..............

In an idealistic society, your desire to stay at home and let your husband deal with the finances would be great. We do not live in that kind of society. To you I say that if you choose to stay home and not work to add income to the household, then you guys must downsize. I raised 2 children and worked. I also received a Master's degree and taught at a business college part time. Most of these things were achieved by my husband and I coordinating times for drop off and pick up of children. My husband shared the household responsibilities and Sundays were set aside as family days with no outside interferences. Today I am a single mom and my children are straight A students. More of the responsibility is on me but the foundation was set and things are fine. You and your husband must talk and come up with a plan that works for everyone involved. Children of working mothers can be very successful and well rounded.

Stay home with your children. you have a small baby, they are only baby's once. you can never get that time back that you will miss. That's what I think anyway. be a mom and stay home with them. im a mom of 3 and miss my kids very much when im not home with them, but I have to work, no other choice, my husban only works part time and has no intrest in going back to school or getting a better job to better him self or his family, so someone has to be the man... if i had a choice i'de be home with my kids. I look at life as this "you only live once , you will never get another shot at it, so live everyday like it's your last" do what makes you happy.

I agree with the previous person, try looking for some sporadic or work at home stuff. There comes a point that you'll only make a few bucks after paying for childcare and such. It's a hard time in life!

My husband and I were also working before my son was born. I went back to work and left my son with my mother-in-law during the day. But my son seemed to be sick all the time. He always had a cold and cough and diaper rashes. He was soon also diagnosed to have asthma. So I decided to resign from my job and stay at home to take care of my son personally. My husband now has to shoulder all the expenses and bills. He works overtime and we are able to make end meet. Now my son is healthy. He is seldom sick and his asthma attacks have been greatly reduced. He actually hasn't had an asthma attack for a few months now. There is nothing like the personal care of a mother. I try to help out my husband with the expenses by starting a small business here at home where I can still care for my son and earn extra as well. Giving up my career and taking care of my son and husband was about the best thing I have done. Sure the finances are quite low, but nothing beats the healthy smile of your own child.

motherhood in itself is a career, one of the most important one in fact coz we all need good mothers to nurse and raise responsible citizens. i guess the decision is up to you. raising kids is just as equally important as providing for food on the table.

Maybe you should try to find a job that you can do at home...i'm not really in to this kind of jobs but i know that this exist!Try to find it out!

I believe that it is time for you and your hubby to have a serious talk. Write down all the finacial plus' and negatives to working vs not working. Then write the emotional and physical issues the same way. Look at both columns and see where the most benefit lies. Then search your heart. If you don't feel that going to work is the best interest for your family, especially your children, then you should definately stay at home. Being a mother is a full time job, with no pay, but lots of benefits. Consider maybe taking in a child or two for daycare yourself. If you have under a certain amount (varies by state) you do not have to be licensed to have a home based daycare. However, personally I think the license is important. I lived with a married couple for a while as a live in nanny. I took care of the two boys while the mom worked at night and the day during the day. That way, she could sleep daytime, and I was there to make sure the boys were well taken care of. When I left to go find another job and place to live (i was saving up) the schedule for the couple was the same. One morning the mother fell asleep, and the oldest boy, age 4, had figured out how to work the locks on the door. He got out and ended up drowning in a neighbors pool. I have felt guilty about that ever since, and it made me realize that money isn't everything. Sorry about the sad story, but felt that it might be important since you were talking about alternate sleeping schedules and such. There are some work from home opprotunities as well...maybe consider doing data entry or medical billing coding from home? I am not very clear on what they entail but I know that there are legitimate work at home offers. Do you have a craft or a hobby that you can turn into a business? Many small towns (i dunno where you live) have stores where locals can sell items on consignment, as long as it fits the overall feel of the store. Good Luck with what you decide. The first priority should always be what is best for the children, however.