Parents Against Lesbian/Gay Children

I would like to add an answer from a perspective that you haven't already received yet. Most of the people responding are either gay, or are trying to convince themselves that they are open to any and everything. I am not in that position. A little about me: As an african american, baptist raised male, I was raised that homosexuality is wrong. Period. I personally found it disgusting when I see two men kiss, although, ironically, not when I see two women. My oldest brother is gay and came out I guess when he was in college. I am ten years younger, so it seems pretty much my entire life. The story I hear now, is that my brother-in-law said "why would you do that?" and my sister asked, "are you sure that is what you want to do?" My father was distant for awhile, and my mother kept denying it, much like your mother seems to be doing. However, although they don't condone or accept homosexuality, they do love my brother. Over the years, I have grown to not care about homosexuality, etc. I still find it disgusting when I see two men hold hands or kiss, but not because I think they should burn in hell, is just isn't pretty to me. To summarize my overall point, your mother loves you. Sometimes, I get the impression that homosexual people want to dictate all the parameters of the relationship they have with people. You being a homosexual is only a part of who you are, it isn't everything you are. If your mother doesn't have an easy time accepting your homosexuality, doesn't mean give up on her. She loves you, she just doesn't accept a part of you. There are artists whose parents think they should have been lawyers, and their parents don't accept them as artists. (I don't mean to trivialize homosexuality, I know it is a lot stronger and more pronounced difference in being gay and not straight than being an artist and not a lawyer.) In time, she will come around. In the meantime, try to gently tell her that you ARE A LESBIAN. She's heard it, but now tell her that it hurts you when she tells you that she doesn't want you to ever find true love because she doesn't want you to have a girlfriend (basically what she is saying, but I am sure it will hurt her to hear that put that way.)

I came to this conclusion awhile ago. I realized that people really aren't going to be happy with who I am. I've pretty much detached myself from most of my family because they aren't going to be very happy with me when they find out I've been dating a girl for over 3 years and everything else. My family is so very religious and everything else. They just aren't too happy with gay people. I was once confronted about being gay, but I denied it. I just said no and kept my head down and I think it's sad when you're afraid in your own family about what they'll do or think when you come out. It's all very very sad to me.

well, there are always a lot of parents who don't want their children to be gay/lesbians, especially the older ones who are in their 50's because of the way they grew up thinking about homosexuals and of course the influance from their own parents as well. in todays society, the younger generation, does find it more accepting. i will be happy with my kids as long as they're happy with themselves. and as long as no one hurts their hearts, i'll have no problem with them no matter who they decide to date. i mean, some parents are just one minded to not accept things the way that they are. it is sad, but what can you do, they'll sacrafice their relationhip with you because they only want to think one way. truly sad. i cherish the relationship with my children and they're still only young. i'm sure that they love you, but they problably think your mind has been corrupted or maybe they feel its their fault. as a parent know, i find it hard NOT to love your children no matter what..

Well most people that has answered you are like from the same block as you my friend all you need to do is to try and travel out of your domain and come to africa then you will appreciate what life- Good life means. i beleive you are too comfortable over there and you just forget about leaving a straight life, life worthy of emulation and worthy of praise to your God. too much comfort sometimes bring in unfocosed thinking, beleiveing you can handle thing by yourself. Live a life that is worthy of praise to your creation- A stright life.

My heart breaks for you when I read this as so many children out there feel so unloved when the truth is you are still the same person she brought home from the hospital , you alway will be and should be your baby . I would be upset for my child if they came home and told me they were like this but only because I know how much society frowns on such behaviour but no matter what that would not change my love for them and I would at least try to understand from their point of view . It is true that if you find someone that loves you very much for you and this is what makes you happy then it really shouldn't matter who you are with , in my opinion this would be better then you being with someone that was hurting you on a daily basis . I think the reason so many parents feel so strongly on this as this is how they were raised by their parents although this is not always the case as my mom and dad are very prejudiced and neither my sister are in any way and cannot understand how they can't see that no matter what this is still a person with feelings no matter what colror , race , religion or who they like in life . Try not to beat yourself up to much over this as you are trying to be the best person you can be for you and you deserve to be happy in life no matter what anyone else believes . You are not hurting anyone and deserve as much happiness as your parents or any of your friends weather they want to see it this way or not .

It's harder for the older generation to understand the whole gay thing. I've been out for over three years and have been with my boyfriend for two, but my dad still asks me "Chasing any women?" when he calls me. It's like he refuses to admit it to himself that his son is a homosexual.

I guess some parents feel like if they're child is one bit different than anyone else, that it's something they have done "wrong" and they can't handle it. They don't gather that they have made a human being that can discern things about themselves and is capable of loving themselves and another human being as well.They have made quite an achievement and I wish they could view it as such. I saw a section in a gay prise parade once, made up of parents of gay children, i cried they were so happy and they applauded when we all applauded them.Beautiful thing.Sometimes people love you the best that they can...and while I'm sure they love you, I understand you want the whole enchilada,and you deserve it, I hope it al comes together someday.

I guess the world still ain't ready for radical changes. People are afraid of things that they feel aren't normal. Just give it some time.. People will change and it's already coming to effect. Just think of this as the time when women African Americans were first discriminated. It'll all come to pass.

Homosexuals and Lesbians are not born, they are made through the way they were raised or their experiences. Think of the show "Mommie Dearest" and how Joan Crawford's daughter turned out to be a lesbian because of the cruel way her mother treated her. Think of all the single mothers who acted as father and mother to their child who turned into a homosexual because he did not have a strong male influence, and consider the homosexual who as a boy was sexually abused by an older male or a reprobate priest. Now think of how your mother feels. She knows all this, has watched the news and read and now she wonders "What have I done wrong?" So you should not feel sorry for yourself, and not read what you want into every conversation. Aside from the fact, being a homosexual or a lesbian shortens your life and it is wrong. Your mother is concerned about you. She does not want you to die young.

ok this is all going to sound all over the place but i will explain as i go. i think the best possibility is to look at your parents and understand that no matter what you love them even though they may have any dissapointment in you. if you have let them know about your sexuality leave it at that. if you push the subject it will only cause arguments between you and your family thats not needed. every one is able to have there own opinion even if we dont agree, and being a parents opinion can be hard to take. but i am sure that your parents do love you in any way that you have choosen to live your life. they will except it in time as they will have no choice but to except it. just leave the subject with them and they will in there own time come around. There is no reason for you to prove the greatness of your partner to anyone the only person that it matters to is yourself. beleive me they do love you they just ned time to understand

my mom did for sometime because i am a lesbian, for sometime she couldn't understand me and could not accept me, but i never really asked her to accept me, one day, it just happened she has accepted me but of course i know she still wishes me to be with a boy and have my own family.... maybe because i once mentioned to her that this is just me and i am not about to please anybody for them to be and and sacrfice my happiness and blame alot of people as lived their life not mine... maybe it made her realize... but again a mother would always want to dress up their daughter dresses and fix their hairs and not dress them with shirts and pants... time will come that they will fully understand us and accept us.

I hate parents who thinks like this and I know a lot of parents are this kinds. But dont they know that its also normal being gay?! And what's wrong with that?! Im glad and so fortunate that my parents accepts the real me. They even know my girlfriend and everytime we had a family reunion, I always take her to meet everyone in the family and they gladly accepts her. But even if my parents didnt understand the real me and neglects me as their daughter, I will still love them and keep our relationship cause I know, and time will come that they'll understand me.

as far as life goes on,one has the right to decide what ever he or she wants but not to the detriment ones future.well,you have expressed your opinion to your parents. i guess you are no longer a baby,so you know what is good for you.Your parents have lived thier lives,so they should allow you to leave yours too.thanks,....from harrison....+447011139577

loving someone and accepting who they are are two different things, and they dont have to oppose each other completely. My parents would have had the same reaction, however when they knew i was gey, they obviously didnt make those comments, and maybe it gave them the oppoutity to focus on what was important in a relationship.

I'm really sorry your parents are not more understanding. I think we all should worry about our children being happy and not straight or gay. Would they really rather you be misreble and unhappy with a man? Here is my promise to you : If I ever am blessed to raise children and any of them are gay I will love them and support them 110% And that goes for nices and nephews too. I think they love you sweetie. They just don't want to accept who you are. Maybe because of how they were raised to think. I know it's not a good excuse but the country is still trying to get over our prejudces with poeple of non white skin color. These things take time. I know that's no comfort to you now with your situtaion. But with every new generation things will ease up. Your parents still may come around too. I hope so because they're missing out knowing a great woman. And they'll regret it later in life. XOXOXO

I feel your pain. I'm having the same issue really. My mom however does it more indirectly. She says stuff about how two women gross her out and everything like that. Then she want on a tirade about can't waiting until I have her grandchildren. Now, I love kids and want kids, it's just they won't be concieved how she thinks. Before she always used to say it wouldn't bother her if I was gay, and well now she's on this other tirade. It's annoying really. I'll be in the closet for awhile longer I'm sure. I have a gf of three years but it won't do me any good to come out to my family. My gf's dad already knows about us so that's not so bad.

Parents only want the best for their kids. Sometimes the world can be harsh for homosexual people because of the stereotypes attached with it. What you could do is to talk with your parents about it well. They should learn that if they really wanted you to be happy, then they should also accept you as who you are. Parents should just support and guide their children all the way.

Life is all about experiences so first of all i am sorry about you. I think gay and lesbian is such a word or concept that make every human angry, many religion opposed it and i found them really immoral. Sometimes parents even kill their children if they found out about their homosexuality. People should understand these values. Sorry to say but i am like this.

a couple years ago I found a "how to correct homosexuals" book on my dad's side of my parents room. it scared me a lot. but I've thrown every sign I could. If they haven't gotten it then that's it I guess, I'm not gonna tell them.

My mom pretty much freaked out when she found I liked girls and that my brother liked guy. She was like 'where did I go wrong?' and she friggin cried. I'm happy with guys and girl and my brother mostly just likes guys. We are happy so I don't see what the big deal is.