Love Marriage Vs Arranged Mairrages!!!
By unishwetabh
@unishwetabh (1031)
India
February 13, 2007 1:30am CST
What do you all feel about it?? What should be the correct form? I have seen most of the arranged marriages to be successful and many love marriages ending up no where. Today the rate of Divorces taking place in the US is much higher than it used to be. So what is your opinion about it?? Where do we go wrong normally? Should we trust upon oour parents for chosing a life partner or should we take it as our duty?? Give your ideas.
2 people like this
4 responses
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
13 Feb 07
I have nothing against arranged marriages but I was not brought up that way. I always believe that marriage should be the decision of the child and not of the parents. I believe that we are given freewill to choose whom we like to marry and not the parents. I believe that when a person gets married it is the brides and grooms choice that he wants the person he is getting married with. As for arrange marriage the parents can intervene if their children don't opposed them but if the child has other choices whom to be partnered the parents should let him decide for himself.
2 people like this
@unishwetabh (1031)
• India
13 Feb 07
That's really a great thought. You have taken the side of both the parents as well as the children. Maybe that's true that the first priority should be given to the children as they have to marry. Then I feel that Its the parents duty to see that their children get the best life partner. After all this is not a simple relationship as it deals with the lives of two individuals. Thanks for your response.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
Jonjee I think that is not arranged marriage since you are just making a shortcut of choosing your partner. For arranged marriage you have been arranged by either a parent with someone. There was already an agreement for such and you pretty much have no choice. With the one you described above I think that is not what you can call as arranged because you are the one that chooses and that is pretty much what you call love marriage because it is you who is choosing your partner. It is just that there is a venue for you that is arranged but definitely you have a choice in there. Arranged does not have that quality of freedom.
@scrivener (65)
• Philippines
13 Feb 07
First off, an arranged marriage is common in countries where divorce or separation is not allowed. This is probably the reason why arranged marriages seem to have very high success rates when in fact, the couple may be living in hell.
Second, divorces have become common because it gives people an avenue of escape. If there was no divorce, then married people would have no choice but to work out their problems or live the rest of their lives in agony.
Don't get me wrong. It is not easy to lose a husband or wife even through divorce. Losing that one single person whom you always saw as someone who would always be there is very hard. To lose a partner is losing your security. If, in the past, you had your parents to lean on, you transfer that emotion to your other half. So, it's really painful to lose a husband or wife.
Based on my experience, I couldn't leave my husband even if I did leave him for a short while. In the end, I still needed him. Aside from receiving love, a marriage gives security. You have your feet planted firmly on the ground because you know where you stand and you know where to turn to. A divorce will deprive you of love and security. Not to mention the agony of having to go through divorce courts.
2 people like this
@unishwetabh (1031)
• India
13 Feb 07
Very well! You have given really a great point on this. Practically you are most right. Thanks for youyr response.
1 person likes this
@faraz007 (182)
• India
13 Feb 07
I agreed with unishwetabh, I believe in arranged marriage more than love marriage. I am not saying that love marriage is not good but sometimes love marriage is more of immaturity rather than practicalness. So we can give example of USA which is seeing highest number of divorces rate. So i might be marryoing according to my parents wish.
@unishwetabh (1031)
• India
28 Apr 07
You are right dear.......but dont our parents have right to decide our life partners. I mean they wont make such decisions which would harm us. And once you are married then time can also teach you to love your partner.
