Does being a wife/mother means you lose yourself?
By ladyjava
@ladyjava (1184)
Malaysia
February 13, 2007 5:45am CST
I have plenty of friends who I lose everyday due to work, marriage and especially to kids. I don't know what happened really. One day these "people" are friends and the next just "wives" and/or "mothers". They don't call, they don't return calls and they are impossible to "date". It's like they forget to be "friends". Despite a wife, I always make time for my friends, not saying that my family is not important, but I always say that friends make you who you are, that despite being a wife and/or mother, you still need to be YOU. Has these ever happened to you? Have you lost a friend today?
2 people like this
5 responses
@lwillman1 (17)
• United States
13 Feb 07
I think time management is an essential part of friendship. I have a "best friend" that lives in Tennessee. We have been friends for over 20 years! We make it a point to talk at least once a week or so on yahoo messenger. I have friends that we go out to eat sometimes, but we are not as close as my "best friend". I have also lost a good friend recently because she is involved in a relationship I don't approve of. She is dating a married man, which I can't conceive of ever doing, and she knows how I feel about it. So, she hasn't called me in over 3 months. All I can do for her is help pick up the pieces when its over with. Also, being a wife and mother I feel, compliments friendships. It is a part of you and therefore is a part of your friendship because your best friends always knows your family well.
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
13 Feb 07
It would be nice if the wife/mother could keep a part of herself just for her self but I guess being a wife and mother is such a hectic job that there isn't mush time left for anything else I guess this is why women find it so hard when their children leave hone then they have forgotten how to live for themselves...
@ladyjava (1184)
• Malaysia
13 Feb 07
This is I think the reason why there are so many divorce cases among the elderly, once the kids grow up, the women discovered that now is the time to really live and when the men in their lives refused to let them, they find some other way out.
1 person likes this
@milagre (1272)
• Portugal
13 Feb 07
It doesnt mean lose yourself, but it means feeling like it. Thats what had happen to me, i feel im living to all the others in the family rather then me. The question is: is it worth it? for me it is. But i still have my personality, my way of being and my own thoughts, opinions and ideas.
2 people like this
@HighPriestess (739)
• Melbourne, Florida
13 Feb 07
Unfortunately, we women have been conditioned to 'loose ourselves' as a sacrifice to our families. But it should not be this way. The desires we have built into us are there for a reason. Many women get past their child rearing years, and realize that there are things in there life they wanted to do. Maybe it's painting, or gardening more than they did. Alot of times women get so lost, they don't even remember what their passions were. It's important that we get back in touch with who we really are, otherwise, what are you really giving your family? Most likely just an empty shell going through the motions of daily life, but not really 'living'.
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
13 Feb 07
well im a mother of two... for me, actually i dont loose any piece of myself... the truth is they complete the missing part of me... that i never thought was missing when i was still single... Being with my friends is minimize of course but it doesnt mean that i cant go out with them anymore... its just a matter of time management... and sharing a part of me with my family actually improve my personality...
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