HELP!!!

i totally agree

I agree. My mom told me to just go about my business and ignore my daughter and it works (well most of the time!!)

I AGREE completely. My sister in law is a good mother, she has a 3 1/2 yr old boy and he is OUT OF CONTROL. He talks back, curses and all that bad stuff. At first she would just ignore him and it didn't work at all...but then she started sending him to his room but he would just create more havoc by throwing things at the door. What really confused me was that she would yell at him, then ignored him and then like 2 mins later she would APOLOGIZE to him for being so mean to him. What the hell?? I mean isn't that confusing the child? If you choose to be persistant and assertive you should not turn back to being soft and cuddly with your child. That just makes the child think "Oh I can act up again because I know I will be punished but soon enough I will be hugged and kissed".

But if you show them too much affection your giving in right? I mean, I'm not arguing, I feel you should show affection too, but there are times for that.. And during punishment is not one. They will feel they have won everytime if you're just as loving as can be, and they will continue throughout life right? Patiences is a virtue with children, and it's hard to find sometimes, but there is a time with a spankin' is not all that bad of a thing.

You mention having more than one child, that's a perfect setting to start a special time with the other kids for behaving. Maybe coloring time, reading time, not sure how old the other siblings are. It has to be different from the norm for your son to realize he's missing out. Maybe that'll help shorten his difiance time. Well, the Supernanny says endure however amount of time that it takes for your son to realize you're not going to give in. Unfortunately, he knows you will give in and he's punishing YOU once you sit with him or stop the consistency. For me, after the 1st few times of him getting up...I'd spank his rear and look in his eyes calmly but stern and say,"that's not acceptable, you need to stay in your chair until the timer dings and I come to get you out of your chair and then we'll start over...or he can participate in the special activity with the others" repeat that a couple times and then don't speak to him at all, but keep putting him back in the chair and a firm spank on the rear every once in awhile if its a lengthy time. What is happening is.....he's controlling you. You're the Mom. I KNOW...its drudgery doing it, but once you've proven your consistency and you don't back down and give into the tantrums or bad behavior....your son will realize you mean business. The benefit of consistency is he'll learn there are consequences for bad behavior and good consequences for good behavior. Just remember, when you feel you can't take any more.....Hang In There....Your son is feeling the same way and is probably close to obeying. Each time will get shorter and shorter...believe me. It does work. When you Give In....IT WILL BE 10 times Worse the next time, because the child knows how far he needs to go to get His way. This is for his own good, to know there are boundaries and consequences in life. Good luck to you. My mom had 5 of us kids(3girls/2boys) and it never seemed like she ever hated it or dreaded any of us. Her secret was a lot of prayer, routine, patience, and consistency with discipline. I remember being put in my room for timeouts....lots of times and my attitude would change the quicker I wanted to be apart of something.

On time I did follow through with him. I had seen on the nanny show that if they come out of their rooms at night to quietly put them back in each time and eventually they will get it. I did that every single minute for 2 hours one night. He thought it was a game. Eventually I just stood outside the door and each time he opened it I walked him back to his bed. Of course while I was standing outside his door the 2 girls were playing in their room but I couldn't leave his door or he ran for the living room. After the 2 hours (might have been a little longer) I was exhausted and in tears and just spanked him and told him if he opened the door again I was smacking his hand. After getting his hand smacked 3 times he went to bed. I'm sure those nannies would have freaked if they saw that. I am happy to say that all of a sudden he has decided to stay in the corner for his time outs. Just last month I was having to hold him for at least half of the time and now he will stand there the whole 5 minutes. He does ask how much time he has left about every 30 seconds but at least I don't have to spend 5 minutes holding him there.

What do you do when that doesn't work. My kids are the same way. We used to have a "behaving chair." That is what the kids called the time out chair. But it caused more headaches then anything. It is easy to say just keep putting them back in the chair and resetting the timer. With my son (who is 5 now) it is impossible. He refuses to stay in the chair so I either have to physically hold him for his 5 minutes (meaning I sit in the chair with him in my lap holding him tightly so he doesn't wiggle free) or I spend at least an hour resetting the 5 minutes because he just walks away after 30 seconds. I have 3 other children I have to keep track of so I can't spend my entire time disiplining one of them.

How about when it's time to clean up play beat the buzzer. Allow enough time for her to clean up and she will get a treat before the buzzers gone off. My friend and i do that with our little ones, i don't have a buzzer though so it's beat the microwave for me!!! hehe. You got to show them whos the boss and they don't rule the roost and you have to put your foot down. If she has a tantrum send her to her room let her see it doesn't bother you it's only bothering her and if she crys and carries on tell her you'll shut the door you don't want to hear it. I brought my daughter a My Little Pony last night and showed her if shes good for the whole week and explained to her what is expected of her and what she can't do, she will earn a sticker for the day and at the end of the week she will get the pony - she's loves the My Little Pony stuff. And last night she said i've been good mummy can i have a sticker and i said well lets see how you go to bed and i will give you one. And as for getting her little sister to do stuff and try and get a reward for it still - reward the smallest one for doing it even though she wasn't to do it. Might put a stop to her. Just be positive and hang in there. And don't give in to them!!! Good luck! :)

I wish that worked on my daughter. It works for my other two kids and used to work with my oldest daughter. Now she just demands to get whatever it is she wants and if she doesn't get it she just keeps on throwing a tantrum (these can last all day long). And of course the other two get the treat because they work hard to behave and get whatever it is. That just makes my daughter even more mad because she doesn't think it is fair for her to not get it. She is even getting sneaky about things. If the chore is to clean up their rooms (and I mean just straighten it up so every toy isn't on the floor and clothes are picked up) she will convince her little sister to do it all for her while she sits in bed and watches or reads then expects to get the treat. Which doesn't work for me because she didn't earn it.

i tryed to use the sticker thing withmy 3 year old while potty training but when she didn't get a sticker she ripped it in half

But I can't watch her in the corner if I am outside with the other kids. The other kids can NOT go outside alone. We don't have a fenced yard and they are only 5 and 4. And if I take them outside then the other one will either follow us down the stairs screaming or she goes off and watches TV while I'm not there. At least I don't have to physically hold her in the corner like my son. He won't stay more then a few seconds in the corner.

4monsters4me, Hey I have a 3 year old and when she acts the way your little girl acts she sits with her face facing the wall and if the other kids want to go outside she sits facing the wall untill she strightens up her act and she has sat for along time before.

See, to me, that just says, "hey if you jump on the couch we get to go outside and play" To me it seems like a reward. I don't see how that works. So if my kids color on the wall I reward them by doing a great art project with them. Seems like they would just color on the wall more to get to do more projects. When my kids jump on the couch they get sent to their room to play or they have to sit on the floor the rest of the day. And if the color on the wall (which they haven't done in months, thankfully) the crayons are taken away for a few days and they have to cleen the walls.

Well see your views are all wrong. You shouldn't view teaching a child as discipline. It is teaching, not discipline.If she has nothing to rebel against she wont do it. I knocked positive parenting when I first heard about it, but trust me, it works!

Excuse me. I didn't mean to say your views were wrong. I really didn't. I don't know why I said that. What I meant was that you were viewing positive discipline all wrong! You are definitly not wrong as a parent. you do what works best for you!

This is what I was going to say. Take her in to get evaluated. She might need a professional's help!

I agree with Cuddlebug. Do not give negative attention many responses. Well, enough to teach her what she really is supposed to be doing, but give positive actions more attention.

My monster!!!

Hehehe, I have tried this one...mine keeps coming back!!!

yes i agree....u hav to do that in order to keep ur child in control.

Time-outs never helped with my kids... I would spend the whole time forcing them to stay put and they were so busy trying to fight it and being angry with me that they don't make the connection or use that time to think about what got them there in the first place. Maybe it works for others???

That's a really good idea and less painful than a belt (my idea)!!