Children and Paganism

I know this was directed to the pagans and wiccans which I am technically not. Yet, I have had some experience with this type of discrimination. I would say this is the primary reason my wife and I are divorcing. I have my own unique views on spirituality that are very complex and can't easily be tied down to any one classification. My wife argued and argued with me about how we would raise our children. I suggested every compromise and solution I could imagine. But, nothing would work for her. In the end she just gave up. When her and I first got together she spent quite a bit of energy trying to convert me to her religion, and if we had not been life long best friends I would have left her on the spot. I gave her the benefit of the doubt though and pushed forward. In the end learning that no matter what she may have said she never got over this first problem. My suggestion from this would be to raise your child the way you feel is best. There will be those who try to manipulate you and your child's life. I would say take your stance with your feet firmly planted and make sure those who interfere know that they can not move you. I can say with some pride that my wife never converted me. I may have been willing to bend (compromise) this way or that, but I never let myself be coerced in anyway. One thing I have been learning and getting better at is to become firm and unbreakable in whatever stance or path I take in life. Bendable like a young tree but not breakable. Hope that helps. Do you have pictures of your kids?

I think you should teach your child to be proud of who they are. Yes I believe in God and I am a christian but to me being a christian is not to put down other people and there religions. That is what America is all about Freedom of religion. If people would just look past what they believe in and look at the person, they might find a beautiful person. I am sorry you had to go through what you went through in your life. I was picked on growing up because I was poor and very ugly. I could not help how I looked but people made fun of me for that. They did not try to get to know me. They just did not like what I looked like so thay judged me. It is to bad that everyone can not get along.

well, i understand why they would, its to protect their children. but what EVERYONE ELSE should do is teach their children to respect other religions. thats what i'm going to do with mine. they will have the freedom to chose what religion they want to practice on their own. i'm not going to force them since i was forced to be a catholic when i was younger and apparent my own beliefs contradicted theirs, but my mother said when i'm 18 i can change...that really confused me since if she wanted me to chose, then why did she make me goto church in the first place?? people should me more accepting of others. its wrong for people to discriminate just because of their religion. i have never seen a child being taken away because the court system didn't like their religous beliefs. thats just stupid.

I brought my son up to be able to make his own mind up on such things. I didn't exactly hide the fact that I was a pagan from anyone, the subject of religion simply wasn't discussed that much at home and while my son was at school I was quite happy for him to learn about different religions.

I do not have children, but I am the only Pagan in my family. A few years ago my aunt found out about my religious choice and sat my dad down to talk about it. She talked to him for hours about it, convincing him that it was a bad choice on his part to let me choose this religion because in her eyes it was "evil" and "devil worshipping". I was young, so I didn't have much of a say when he told me to keep my religion hidden when family was around. A year ago I turned 18 and decided not to hide my beliefs anymore. My aunt is fully against it, my grandmother "had a cow" when she learned of my beliefs, and my mom and I got into a lot of arguments. And it's all because I do not believe what they want me to believe. My mother even told me I'm going to hell. I think that the parents may be doing the smart thing in protecting their children. Until people can learn to "live and let live" and accept other viewpoints, there will always be a worry about showing beliefs that are not mainstream or seen as acceptable to most. I'm really not sure how to approach this. To get my father, boyfriend, and friends to understand, I sat them down and explained to them my beliefs. I told them why I felt the way I did. I showed them how my beliefs related to the Pagans in history. I gave them time to digest this information, ask questions, and share their points of view. I told them I would be open to any questions at any time from that point on as long as they weren't rude. I can tell you that high school was tough when I encountered those who were flat out disrespectful of anything that did agree with their train of thought and religion. Thank goodness that it didn't happen too often, but it still happened all the same. I say that if your child is strong in their beliefs and can handle any scrutiny when they get older, let them choose for themselves whether they want to be open or not, explain to them what they may have to deal with, but let them choose; however, when they are young, try to keep them safe from this discrimination because they will be dealing with enough of the same youthful problems that come to all growing kids and they really won't need more things to deal with.

My opinion is that you as an adult can and will do as you please but it should not be forced upon a child. Let them chose the religion they prefer. That does work and has for all 6 of my Mothers children she was Baptist my Father was Nazarene and each of my brothers and sisters are the religion they chose and we are a loving family with different life styles and believes. As for Wiccan (my opinion) that should be a later in life choice.

Honestly, I worry about it some. But I do NOT let my children hide our religious beliefs. We are very strong in our beliefs and the schools and other people will have to get over it. I do not go around attacks other religions. Instead, I teach my children that there are many religions and each person has to follow what is right for them. So, during the Winter Holidays, they know the names of each holiday. And when they come to a certain maturity, they ask about the differences. My daughter brought home a poster with a tree drawn on it. Over that weekend, she was supposed to decorate the tree to be hung in the hallway of her grade. Well, instead of writing Merry Christmas like some others had done, we included many holiday greetings going around that entire poster board. My children's teachers know we celebrate the Yule. And when I saw them, they wished us Merry Yule also. I think the world is coming to a better understanding. And the only way to continue its acceptance is to come out of the "broom closet". :)

One day my pre-teen went on the belief.net site and a few minutes later told me, "Hey, Mom, I'm a Neo-pagan!" Since neither one of us really knew what that encompassed, it was actually pretty interesting to read about it and people's beliefs. He's very open in telling people I'm Buddhist, he's Neo-Pagan, etc...He attended a Christian school for a while and was open to that as well, we just let him decided for himself what he believed.

I agree with you for the fact that we have to pay attention with our children. My son is 7 and I live in Italia, a Catholic country in which the majority of people say to be Christian but never go to church and don't know anything about their religion, but it is hard to be something different from Christianity. Pagans are so few that if someone says to be a Pagan, people laughes thinking he/she is joking. My son knows that I am a Pagan and that I never go to church. He likes Christianity and asked me to learn catechism in his church and I allowed him to do what he wants, I am for freedom. So every Saturday I take my child to church but I never enter the church, my child knows this and he will never ask me to enter the church with him: I respect him and he respects me. I never hide to be a Pagan, if someone asks me I tell him. When my son's teacher of religion asked me the reason why I called him "Giuliano" I answered to her: "As I am Pagan I called him with the name of the last Pagan empereor: Giuliano".

I think this may be the repercussion of the Salem massacre. I don't have children yet and I'm not "officially" a pagan but my religious belief comes closest to it but I still am very much scared that when I have children, they'll be discriminated against since I live in a very Catholic country. I'm not scared of teaching them my beliefs when I do have children, after all, Paganism is all about love and respect right? Paganism is all "inclusive" in a way such that it's belief system is very fundamental and rooted in nature that it encompasses others. For example, Christianity's golden rule is "do unto others ..." which is pretty much the same as the Threefold Law - what you put out comes back to you times three. Christians pray and so do I, albeit worded differently. There is no question that I will involve my future children in my beliefs and I am scared to let them know where my spirituality is rooted. Nevertheless, I still very much worried that other people may understand. I guess it is good that I don't believe in preaching and conversion, that may be a good lesson to tell my child as well... Answer when asked and never let anyone believe you're beliefs are superior, because none is.

if by pagans u mean atheist then i'm... but i'm never scared of teaching kids the religion beliefs... i will tell him/her to see everything scientifically and judge... believing or not is not upto me... but an open mind is most important...

I'm not 'wiccan' nor do I practice anything formally, but I consider myself a pagan. I really dislike the idea of religion being shoved down a child's throat and we often discuss it at home as both my kids have to attend a school with a religious ethos. In the town we live in, there is no non-denminatinal school. I think it is a real shame that if a kid wants an education he has to learn parayer, etc.

I am not a pagan and am not a mother, so I can not aid you. This is more of an off topic question for you (hope you won't mind). Can you tell me what does the term pagan mean to you, how do you define your religion (if this is not too personal)... In my country paganism is believing in our ancestors Gods (Perun, Morana, Triglav, Vesna)

Hi lecanis, I am not pagan, but I don't believe anyone should have to be ashamed of their belief system, and there should be respect for all. Read my latest post- re Blackmailing our children. You may or may not agree with me.

i have to say i am pretty lucky when it comes to my famly understanding Wiccan. I was one of the first in my family to choose the Wiccan path, followed by my sister, my aunt and my mom. We live in is referred to as the Bible Belt. So everywhere thre are churches and noen of them are too open to Wiccans or Pagans. In a town that is only 7200 we have 41 churches within a 6 miles radius. As far as it comes to raising children in a certain religion, I say keep it open. The best way to make a child or teen rebel against religion is to force it upon them. I have alot of Buddhas in my house because I feel he represents peace to me. My 2yo daughter knows the statues are of Buddha and even kisses one of them. I did not force her to do this. She saw me do it one day and folowed suit. Of cousre my aunt has had people say rude things to her because she has a pentacle tatooed on the side of her neck. I think you just have to be strong in your faith and not let people get under your skin. as for the entire bit abou having your children taken away because you are Wiccan...that would be religious discrimination.

We are about to become parents for the first time, and have no plans on hiding anything. I feel that being Wiccan is wonderful and I love the religion. I do not feel that we should hide who we are. However, I will tell our child that though we are not ashamed of who we are, there are people out there who do not understand and are afraid because of this. I will also tell him/her that religion is a subject that should not be discussed in school as that is a place of learning not worship. If someone asks a question, then we will take it as it goes. I know children and parents can be mean and not understand. However, I am still not going to hide who I am. THis is why I live in the United States...freedom of religion. If someone bashes us, and claim to be christian...well THEY need to relook at their religion, not us.

Good topic, lecanis. "Scary" is right, where's that First Amendment of yours? Excuses or no, that judge put his feet in his mouth there, and there would almost certainly be other instances where First Amendment rights could be shown to have been abused. As a former bureaucrat, I can also tell you that false accusations do have a pretty poor record when challenged at law. There's the little matter of invasion of privacy, too, pretty effective against malicious inventions, and damages claims would be available in at least some cases. Add to that the issue of malpractice by government agencies, and you can put together some useful deterrents. These guys are not good at fighting any sort of law, and any cost to them is a real threat. I'm a Celt, too, and I'm just thankful you can't package Celtic beliefs like you can the mainstream religions. Look what happens. Hmmm... I wonder if that means I'm writing "heretical" books, because I write neo Celtic stories? "Pagan" is a blanket term applied by religions to other beliefs. The insularity of the religions is almost beyond belief (excuse pun.) They know absolutely nothing about other beliefs, usually, and the old European peasant schematic of intolerance just kicks in like a reflex. I think forcing religion on people is the main driving gear of this problem. None of the religions really preaches intolerance, only the noisy dogmatists. Most of the genuinely spiritual people I know from mainstream religions are appalled by the ignorant versions of their beliefs. So have these zealots been taught religion, or just given a uniform and told which side they're on? I don't have kids, unfortunately, but if I did, the first thing I'd teach them is that most people have different beliefs, and don't know much about ours, so it's better to leave the subject alone. I can't imagine anything useful coming out of a schoolyard row about religion. Kids have enough to put up with, without this as well. Very disturbing, though, that you've got this rerun of Salem operating without any case law to defend against it. Maybe someone could strike a useful blow by reminding those holy hicks that the US constitution is specifically framed to prevent that sort of thing. Make a nice class action for someone, if you could organize it.

I'm a bit afraid of how my kids would grow up if I taught them about wicca. I mean, I don't want them to be brought up not knowing where I stand on my religious views, nor do I want them to hide the fact that they worship differently. No one should have to worry about that. Personally, I'd teach your children about wicca. I'd talk to them about what it means to some people (those that believe) and then talk about those that do not. Tell them that non-believers often don't understand what Wicca is about and try to claim it is something else. Just be honest. Eventually, you'll have to decide whether to be pagan and proud yourself or to hide it.

I am a Pagan and I understand your worry. I am about to become a parent myself and I have thought of what I would do about my religion and my son. Personally, I would not want to hide my beliefs forms my son. However, I would never force my religion on him. He will have the right to chose whatever religion he wants, not what I want him to be. I will support him no matter what his choice is. When it come to religion, it does become a problem in families. I dont feel there is any reason to hide and type of religion no matter what you are. Even Christanity can be said to be a bad thing in some peoples eyes. The same that Paganism can be veiw as evil or bad. Religion is religion and there is no reason to be ashamed of what you believe in. A child who knows your religion will feel close to you better then a child who has their parents keeping secrets. Any religion can be taught to a child, not just mainstream. However, if your child does not want to have anything to do with your religion, don't force it. Let them find their own path in life. Blessed Be!

personally i would inform my child about the religion but not bring them up 2 believe that thats all there is. when he's old enuf to make his own mind up then he will have the knowledge tht you have given him to make his own decision.