Anyone out there feel like they are secong to there husbands Job?

Always, shrek is a self employed builder , he and his mate work soo many hours, I do everything for the home, kids, finance and his paperwork, he leaves me reams of things to do and work out any type up, then comes home with more, even tonight it was alomost 7 when he got it, 8.30 when we ate and gone 9 when I finished the things that "had" to be done, then he took over the TV and announced himself exhausted while I still have loads to do, if it's not perfect he moans but I really don't have the time, he piles so much on me. Feel better for a good Valentines Day moan,thank-you

Sometimes I feel like myself and our children do come second to my husband's job. He is the Director of Residence Life at a local university and so he is always "on call." He works a normal 8-5 day then comes home unless he is backed up on work then he has to stay until he gets caught up. The job is great but the down side is that he is always "on call 7 days a week." If something happens in one of the residence halls he must go no matter the time of day or night. I would say he is actually home maybe one full night a week if that. We knew when he took the job that this was going to be the norm for us and we accepted it. We both know it could be worse so we try not to complain.

There is a lot of stress in the office, lots of deadlines to meet, one day off makes the whole routine more demanding, so that is why your husband does not takes a day off, this does not mean you are second to the job. He is working for the family that is you. So never think you are second.

Even before marriage I was infomed by my husband that I will be his second wife, his first wife being his profession. Being an Advocate he often comments " Law is a jealous mistress". It is quite true for it doesnt spare him to me even on the 366th day.

I think that is easy for a lot of spouses to feel this way when their spouse has to go off and work for extended periods of time. I think that an important thing to remember is that you aren't actually second in your husband's life but he is working so much to provide a nice/nicer lifestyle for his family.

Yep felt the same thing this past few months...Oh Im so relieved to find a lot of people are feeling it too. It somehows proves its just normal. Anyway we all have to set priorities. If his being to his work always means our children will have bright future ahead then lets go for it! Support him all the way. Anyway we are creative wifey's so lets come up with ideas how it will still be exciting!

So..?? there's nothing new and strange in it..!! People around me works like this so I don't have any kind of strange feeling about this.

to be honest the sutuation you are talking about is the same everywhere i sometimes don't see my husband for a whole month he comes daily after we get to bed and wake up before anybody do and believe it or noy when my daughter was 2 and half i once dropped them off somewhere till i park my car and my daughter start to cry and everybody looked at my husband as he was kidnaping her and tha's because she wasn't seeing him at all