I badly need your opinion... I'll appreciate any piece of your thought...

I feel that you are still trying to remain true to the vows you made when you got married, I understand why you feel you should do that, but your husband broke his vows when he started his affair. He is still your husband in the eyes of the law, but morally I feel he no longer deserves your loyalty or respect. He has hurt you badly, yet he is expecting you to lie to his own mother for him. I believe that he is using his mothers heart problem to avoid people knowing about what he has done and judging him for it. It is a very weak man who can't be honest with the mother who loves him unconditionally. Do you still want your husband, or would you like a future with your boyfriend? If you choose your husband then you should give up the boyfriend and have your husband move back in. If you want a future with your new man, then you need to move on from your marriage, I would do this by being honest with people about what has happened, starting with your husbands mother. You have been a fantastic wife, You are still being a fantastic wife, by respecting your husbands wishes after all that he has done. Your children I assume are quite young, so if the marriage was annulled now, hopefully they would adjust and accept the situation easier, than they would if you left it until they were older. I believe that you know deep down what you want for your future, you perhaps just need other people to reassure you that it's ok. People will understand, but only if you are honest with them, you need to act before other people have time to spread lies and rumours . I wish you and your boyfriend peace and happiness, I hope everything works out for you and that your future is a happy one. Janette

Hey Lucky, Feel sorow after seeing the contents you have posted in my lot. Here you have said that you want to be happy with your newly bf for the rest of your life but you hesitating to do that, because of society. So in my openion if you think you will be happy with your bf then please go ahed and forget about others, because when you are in trouble no body will see your opsition/problems. So why you care to all. here i would like to suggest you one thing that,if your bf is also married as you then try to convince her spouce first and do as your hear say..........

I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. I don't want to give you bad advice because I don't know how things work where you are. Hopefully you'll get an answer that will help you though.

Enjoy your life. If you cannot keep him leave him.

hi there, i have 4 kids and married to a guy who is like your husband.. and guess what his mom tolerates what he does just like your mother in law (monster in law lol). i tried to talk to him tons of times but still end up the loser. im from the philippines too and i was advice by my mom "magtiis, matatapos din yan." well this is not the kind of life i want, and not the kind of life i want my kids to have. i left him, i brought my 4 kids with me not knowing how to feed them but we left. its been 5 years now and he dont know where we are.... well i guess he doesnt care. but im happy now with my life i have someone who helps me with all the expences with my kids.... this new man in my life his family doesnt even like our relationship (bcoz im married) but he dont care bcoz we are happy. i am happy and i hope you find your happiness too.

Firstly , is your bf married?/ If not, you can get a divorce from yur husband & settle yur life with yur bf. If yes, then definitely he is using you just to have an affair.. By then you could tell yur husband's mom, everything about his son's deeds..no matter what happens to her... Sit with yur husband, her gf, his mom & discuss what he wants in life, you or that gf.. Decide n finish it off.. But while doing so you should also keep in mind the future of yur kids.. So take a decision that suits you, yur kids & everyone u know... All the best.

Solutions vary from country to country (how the society will treat a separated woman); Mental level of the suffering lady, whether she can bear the agony when somebody utters some nonsense before her face or behind her face; Mental level of the children, whether they can bear being children of separated parents, children's age, education, their school environment etc; Above all financial strength (income and wealth) of the lady: whether she can live independently; Boy friends seem to be more fickle when compared to women. Has the bf been tested for his reliability? If some other gf approaches him afterwards will he vanish leaving the already injured woman to her fate? My suggestion: 1. Better to postpone relationship with bf and place him on a test; Wait till children become sufficiently mature. In the meantime, a favourable turn may take place. The co-employee who is having illicit affair may shift to somebody else, leaving the husband in lurch. Then he will come back. His financial condition may worsen, he will come back. 2. Take an elderly relative from mother/father's side into confidence and explain himher the whole thing and seek counselling. 3. Counselling of a professional relations expert can also be taken. 4. In some countries, employers correct the behaviour of their staff members. If Phillippines is such a country, matter can be formally/informally brought to the notice of the superiors/employers.

i would suggest that you should choose to be happy, for your sake and your children.have a settlement with your spouse since he would rather keep the mistress.he can still have you but it would not be the same as before.separate from him.you see, psychologicaly,he is a person who holds on to everything he is bit insecured of himself.the reality is he won't change. we can only hope and pray.be fair to yourself and to yur kids YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. LOVE CAN BE TRICKY IN SO MANY WAYS.DO YOU THINK IT STILL LOVE? OR IS IT JUST A FORCE OF HABIT?

Oh boy..thats too much complicated for a person like you. For me, don't mind at your ex-husband ang go with your bf, because you can't just live in martyrdom aside to the fact that you know your husband has been doing bs for a couple of years back :) Your kids will understand how much their fathers sucks. Even the mom tolerated her son to messed up your married years, do you think thats to be the standard of a good and happy family? i dont think so! About your bf's family approval, mind them a bit and dont get stressed out :) if your bf really wanted to be with u and have a happy family, he will gradually defend you my friend...

The issue is that you are not really married. Marriage is about commitments. Your husband is not committed to the marriage, so find out if he is still interested in you if no then straighthen things legally with a lawyer. You should be happy in a relashionship and not worried.

If it is truley over between your and your husband then you need to tell the mother. She is his mother and not yours and you can't have her going all over town bad mouthing you. Can you get a divorce? If so, then I truley think that is best for all parties around. If divorce is not possbile, then let him go on with his affair while you have yours. good luck.

I don't blame your boyfriend's family at all. I wouldn't want you anywhere near my son. A married woman with a boyfriend. You are just as bad as your husband is. You shouldn't even think of having a boyfriend while you are still married. That is a horrible example to your children when their father has already given them one horrible example already. Do you want them to grow up thinking this is the way marriage should be? If I were in your spot, I would give my husband 30 days to clean up his act, and get back where he belongs. The next time he strays, out he goes, permanently even if you have to live on public assistance or move back to your parent's home while you get some training so you can get a job to support your children. If it comes to a divorce, go ahead with it no matter what your family says and tell them that your kids come first and they need a decent home situation and a better example than your husband is setting. Then concentrate on raising the best kids you can raise. They are your first responsibility. Boyfriends, lovers, and another husband can wait until you take care of your first responsibilty. I know you won't be interested in taking this advice. I'm just telling you what the right thing to do would be. Good luck. I think you're going to need it.

I think you should let him go. Don't chase after him plead or even suggest that he return with you. Keep your self respect. If you can get your marriage anulled do so and then get on with your life. Don't waste another second putting yourself through over somebody that's not worth your time.

It was very difficult to understand what opinion you want from us. But I can suggest you what to do. I think, whether your BF's family accepts you or not, its no point to maintain the relationship with your husband. So it is better you ask for a divorce. You have not mentioned your financial status. But if you are working then you can always manage your own. You should also tell the truth to your mother in law, so that she stops spreading rumours about you. If you tell her the truth gradually and tactfully I dont think it is risky for her heart.Maybe to avoid any problem and to keep your mouth shut, your husband is advising to keep quite giving the excuse of ur mother in law.

Truth speaks for itself. If that would be the attitude of his mother, then, you'll see what the people overwhelming you react on her gossips? Well anyway, the issue in here is you and your husband. For me, I hate to be intervened by our parents when in fact we can decide for our own. Lemme ask you this, is he depends on his mother? If so, then why did he took marriage? Fight for it then. Because such a kind of man is coward and selfish! Try to focus on the welfare of your kids because later on, they will come and support you rather than your husband. If I am your son, i'll wait for a time to come that my father is older and so I could give em a blow in his face! He is a f*ckin s_h_!_t!

My own opinion is that the first thing you need to do is divorce your husaband. As far as what your husbands mom thinks, that is his problem and if he was worried about it he would not of even started the affair. I would tell her that it is time she knew the truth about her son and just let go. Tell her everything that he has done and all that you have had to live with. Let her know also that it was her son who would not let you tell the truth but you just can not do it anymore as you are entitled to a happy life also. Your new boyfriends family would probably not have such a problem with you once you were divorced from your current husband. It is time to think about you and forge that husband.

it's very complicated dear but you have to pray and ask guidance from the Lord. People are always passing their judgement. Wether you are good or bad they always do. But what i give you is to give you some pointers to consider coz nobody can help but only yourself. First and foremost ask yourself if you are ready to break your family, i mean you are ready that you have a broken family coz i know its not your fault but somehow along the way we have to be honest that maybe there are things which we don't agree with each other. Then after that if you are decided i highly advice you to go on with life with your kids. Its okay to have a boyfriend coz sometimes we need them for moral support but never think of marrying. You have been hurt in that situation already don't enter into another one. And then the last one. be strong and never bother of what other people will say. As long as you are a good mother to your kids then you deserve to be happy. You are already in the right age follow where your heart goes, but never be blinded. Good luck

Maam, once and for all talk to your husband, and if things didn't work, try to leave him, and get your child, but don't go with your boyfriend. People blame you because you had also a boy in your life. Try to live even without your husband but no boyfriend, for the sake of your child. It is not good for the child to see that their mom had an affair with the other guy since they still have a father although not good father. Regarding your mom in law, tell the truth so that she will not blame you about what is happening with your family.

why follow your husband's request? to think his mother telling your neighbors you're not a good wife. may i ask if his son is a good husband & a good father to his kids? on my opinion, the reason why he doesn't want you to tell his mom that he has an other woman is to keep his image clean & yours damaged becoz of his mom. i know that he knew what his mom does to you. i don't believe his mom has a heart problem. re your bf, if he truly loves you, he will fight for your love. sooner or later he will build his own family. why depend on his family's decision when he is mature enough to decide for himself?

DIVORCE HER after final confrontation..Does your father and mother know this ?? If no tell them..No need keeping this secret from them...