Kids throwing fits in restaurants, what's your take?

It does happen to the best of us. I was impressed when you said that when your child threw a fit you got up and walked out. I have 3 children so naturally someone is always having a hissy. If I can't get them settled down in a reasonable amount of time I do the same thing, walk out. Usually a change of environment will make them stop fussing and then we can come back to our seats. I have no problem with kids throwing a fit in a restaurant because that is what kids sometimes do. I have a problem with the parents who do nothing to correct the situation and subject everyone else to the disruptive behavior with absolutely no remorse. I have actually walked over to a stranger and asked her if I could walk around the outer edge of the dining area with her fussy baby so she could finish her meal. The poor lady was very frustrated and on the verge of tears. She looked mortified at first and then I explained that I have been there too and every mom should get to eat a hot meal once in a while. She was so grateful that I was there to help and not look down on her.

Speaking as a former restaurant owner, I hear you, But what happens when that child is 6 or 7, we used to have a family that came to our restaurant at least 2 times a week and had a shrieker, you know what I am talking about, from out of no where come this blood curdling shriek, and every one in the restraint is looking to me to do some thing about it. I told the parents that my other customers were upset and wouldn't return if they did, they got very red faced and admitted that they had been told that by 6 other coffee shops and restaurants as well and we were the last place in town they could come, So I told the mother to bring her child in when there were no customers, and when the little darling let loose she was to march this child out the door and tell her she was going home because of her shrieking, So she phoned me and I would call her when there were no customers, the mom and child would walk in and order ice cream. two spoons full into the ice cream she shrieked, and out the door they went, in to the car and home. next day same thing. and again on third day. On the fourth day, all the ice cream was gone and then she shrieked, So I got pretty hair barrettes for good children, With in two weeks that family could eat any where and my customers were happy. All it took was perseverance on the moms part, and sticking to her word, if you mis behave we WILL go right home. and soon her child understood that is exactly what she meant. , This will work on any child that understands the word no. and for any reason.

What works best for me is when my 21 months old daughter starts throwing a fit, I let her walk to the bathroom. And I put her up on the sink and I run the water. And she sits there and tries to catch the water. It never fails, it always calms her down. And then we go back to our table after a few minutes and she is usually okay. Sometimes she will start back up again and then I'll do the same thing. It isn't very convenient jumping up to take her to the bathroom, but it keeps the people around us happy and it saves me from having to leave. There has only been one instance when my daughter would not calm down no matter what I did. We left. My dad always tells me to just ignore the people around us. But I can't do that. We all have to respect each other.

I would remove myself and the child if it were me in the party with the child and if it were someone else's child I would hope that someone else would have the common sense to do the same. Sometimes kids have tantrums, sometimes you can control them and sometimes you can't, but who could enjoy themseles in public when there's a crying, child having a fit or a tantrum. No one can be sure of anything, but why not be the one who has the solutions rather than the one compaining about the problems. (I don't mean you, I mean in general) But that's the way I see this situation, anyway, and that goes for all places, in Church or any public place.

I know it's hard on the parents who have the kid who is causing all the conflict. But I also as a paying customer who works hard for the money it takes to eat a meal out, know what it is like to go to a place with my husband and or family for a nice evening meal out, and to have it disrupted by a screaming child or a tantrum throwing child. I know the parents cannot control it, but they know before hand usually if the child is prone to doign this, they should in my opinion find a sitter for this child. When the child is old enough to learn not to do this, then the child should be allowed to go in public places. My mom is raising a child that is ADHD, I think that's what you call it. But this child can reduce even Job to tears. My mom FINALLY agreed to try prescription medication, and for once in her young life she was able to go somewhere and be an absolute pleasure to be with, until the meds wear off. No need to punish the kids who do know how to behave. It is also a pet peeve of mine to be out to dinner to spend some much deserved quiet time with my husband, and have someone let their little one wander through the restaurant going up to the patrons being "cute". Some people don't mind this, but some people do.

Keep the kid at home and hire a babysitter. You and everyone else will enjoy your meal more.

You live and learn, don't you? I worked as a waitress for years and oddly enough, I didn't see too many children doing that. If I wasn't too busy, I would ask the parents if I could take the child and show them around. It worked really well as the places I worked didn't mind as long as you did your work and took care of the customers. The little time I did that helped the child and the parents as well as the other customers. You never know what your children might do until you get to be a parent.

LOL--- ths things we think until we have children! I totally agree.. When I see a child throwing an all out fit in a restaurant, I think keep that child under control-- I didn't pay this much money for dinner, a babysitter to come here and listen to your kids. But then I started to take my daughter out to eat... and she was one of those kids acting up-- At first I would take her out of the restaurant also.. Calm her down-- This worked for a while-- then she realized that we would just go back in when she calmed down.. I think parents should take things to occupy their kids while waiting for their food. We all know you have to wait-- Pacify them.. play games, read to them... My daughter is now 10 and if she threw a fit in a restaurant or a store she'd be in alot of trouble.. grounding, lose her cell phone, lose her privledges, etc... But when they are younger they don't understand... I even had to take my daughter out a couple times because it was just too distracting for other people. He'll grow out of it! He's just a kid-- Just smile at the people glaring at you and try to calm him down.

When I was single, I used to react alos to children making a scene at a restaurant. I just thougth that their parents never did discipline their kids. But now that I have my own baby, I can really relate to what your describing. Kids are kids and no matter how hard you try to discipline them, they will always be as playful and as carefree as they can be.

I agree. I have 2 small kids aged 5 and almost 3. They will throw fits...now, of course they are better now, but they can still get loud with the talking and all. When they are babies and toddlers, sometimes it happens and you can't help it. I used to get embarassed, too, but not anymore. I figure that the parents should know how I feel and the people with no kids will know soon enough. LOL

In all honesty, I haven't had any of my kids act up with me when I take them out. Over the summer I took my brother's twin 14 month old daughters to Chili's for lunch on a Sunday afternoon with my then boyfriend and they were really good. Other than picking on each other when the ex or I would favor one over the other just a bit, but no screaming and throwing food or whatever at each other. being in a group setting with friends and their children act up...I get frustrated and a bit embarrassed for being there and having people look our direction with the "shut that kid up!" look. I think some people should just accept that if they go to a restaurant, especially if it's a family oriented one, that there's bound to be some screaming kids. You may not like it, but it's a fact of life.

I knw it cud be embarassin but now as u have seen both sides of the coin u knw how it feels,,,actually thats their own very special way of attractin attention, may be they feel weird in such place full of people, and unknown things with starnge people,,,,,,,it cud be anything so we shud make them more familiar with such place and teach them slowly to enjoy things by showing them around,,,,,,,,,,and keep our top intact;))

Kids will be kids. The only time I get mad at parents will kids do that is when the parent is just sitting there eating and letting the kid scream. My baby had a fit in k-mart last week and I was doing my best to keep her calm so no one gave me any lip.

My daughter used to do that to me. I was at wits end and tried not to give into bad behavior. One day we were in WalMart 9 am no one but the workers were there with us she wanted someting I told her no she fell in the floor screaming crying and flopping like a fish out of water( she was 5 ) as I stood watching her I just fell in the floor and starting doing the same she stood up and said Mom get up you are embarrassing me. I got up and told her next time I would continue. We made a pack not to have fits in public. Finally I found something that worked Thank God no one saw me but her.LOL

I know the feeling. I have 3 daughters, and went through the same thing with them. And now, I also have a grandson who is 9 mos. old, but so far he is very good in a resteraunt setting. What we would do is take the child out of the dining area, and let them calm down, and then return to the table. If that didn't work, then we would ask for a take out container, and take the food home and finish it.

All kids when they're very young act this way. Everyone needs to be a bit more tolerant and forgiving of them. They're not mature adults, they're children! If I had a kid and they started throwing food in a restaurant, I would take them to the bathroom and stay there with them until they calmed down. Parents (and people in general) need to have more patience with toddlers. However, if a child is 4 or 5 or 6, they should know a bit better. In that case, I have to put some of the blame on the parents because they have allowed their child to learn that by screaming and acting up, they will get their way, or their parents' attention. Again, this comes down to patience--if more parents would take the time to actually instill in their kids at a young age that they cannot get their way by throwing a hissy fit, there would probably be more well-manner kids out there.

My husband and I have been those people who have looked at a child and thought "UGH! Please be quiet!". But now we have two rugrats of our own, and one of them can be somewhat loud himself at times. This is why we generally don't take him out to restaurants.. or we take him during a slow time of day, so as not to bother others. It's important (IMO) to pick a place that caters to kids- has balloons, crayons, etc.. to help keep a child occupied. Also, make sure the kids aren't starving when you bring them. Take a couple books or whatever, to keep them occupied til the food comes. A place that is busy (has lots of neat things all around the inside of the building) is usually a great place. It gives them something to look at as well.

When I was a young kid myself, I once went shopping with my mother in the main street. We all took turns to go shopping with my mother, she took only one of us... When we were walking there I saw this kid of maybe 3 years old in a pushcart, make a scene and throwing a tantrum. The mother looked very flustered... I asked my mother: "Were we like that when we were young?" "Oh no", my mother answered... "One tantrum like that and you would know you could never come to town with me no more!" And I think we would, because my mother was a very strict lady, who played by the rules (her rules) and you always knew where you stood with her... Now that I am a middle aged person, I am of the opinion that a family restaurant is somewhat different than a "posh" one... In the last you don't expect children to throw a tantrum, and it would disturb me. If I am in the McDonalds e.g. I don't mind at all. A pizzeria, no problem, a real Italian restaurant with no pizzas ;-) I would hate it!

My son is now two and a half years old and he is doing the same. He throws forks and stuff in the restaurant that now a days I am afraid to take him along with us for dinner or some gettogether. When we go out he never listens to me and always try to throw the glasses and have broken also. So I am following this discussion as now I am facing this situation. thanks for posting this discussion blog4life! and respondents I am following you guys for good response that is useful to me so that I can work it out with my son.

Children, unless they are well-behaved, do not belong in restaurants that are not family-themed. The other night my boyfriend and I were out at dinner at a casual Mexican restaurant and a little girl kept coming over to our table and grabbing my boyfriends arm. She had something of a "school girl crush", but her parents were sitting there just laughing! I was like "Do you mind keeping you kid out of our food?" I hate other people's mis-behaving kids! MANNERS are so important. If the kid cannot be trusted to behave, then call the sitter if you want to eat in a restaurant.