Do i deserve this?

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I met a guy, he proposed me, i rejected, but still convinced me that heis the rite person for me, he used to cry for me and beg me to be wid him. I always felt so lonley, never had a sister and friends.my mum wasnt stricked but she was conserned abt me so never let me have friends since i was kid. I never could share my feelings with any one. but then wid this guy , i told him every thing abt me how i feel what i want, wat happened. he have me love like a mother. my mother was a busy women and i used to be alone at home with servents..but than wid this guy, I felt so good with him. i respected him, i respected his feelings. i loved him more den anyotehr thing in my life. i made him first choice, I left all my mates friends, just cuz i wanted thi sperson to me mroe confortable with me, i left al my activities, I left my best univeristy because the program was 4 yrs plus 1 yr extra and i wante dto get married with him. I told my mum i ll go backhome life with him, I agreed i m not gona work after i get married. he loved me like his child, that warm nice feeling, i made him my best friend, fir first 2 yrs he was grt to me but then his father passed away. I did understood now he ll b giving me less attention, I adjusted. but he stopped paying me attention at all.. he always yelled at me that I dun want him to work, i dun let him go to work. I stopped being that kind of person, I ADJUSTED, than when he used to som all he used do was to sleep. and not talk to me when it was my turn. I did for him wat ever I could. .. he is so lazy he cant even e-mail me... and today I found he is talking to another female? i duno if i am exajurating. but i m all in tears rite now. y always me being the person who is left out. ? wat was my fault? i duno if any one will reply or not.. i dun talk abt maself usually like that. but I feel like my life is ended. but i duno y i still feel this love for him in my heart I just can't seem to take it outtt y do i haev to be alone at the enddd.?