Ladies help me, When is a lady considered a playgirl?
By merkava
@merkava (1225)
Philippines
February 15, 2007 1:10am CST
I was looking at some old photos just awhile ago to and I saw the a picture of me and the las girl I courted, let's call her J. Now, when I courted J I knew I would be in for a great challenge. She was the beauty queen of her native province and also in our high school and in her university. I did court her anyway with heart-breaking results. I remembered that she kept on blaming me for being a liar, cheater and simply being a jerk.
Throughout the years even during the 1st time I met her back in 1st year high I knew she would have a lot of boyfriends. I didn't expect it to be that much. From 1st to 4th year high alone she had 8 boyfriends and 3 flings, that's according to her mother. In her 4 years of college she had 5 boyfriends and 2 flings, that's according to her best friends whom by the way is one of my cousins. All her relationships were futile because none of them could last for more than a year 1/2. I also hated the fact then when she talks about her relationships she kept on saying that "it was his fault." All that I could think of was that she was the one who chose her boyfriend anyway so why blame the guy? In the Philippines we are very traditional, there's courtship most of the time. In J's case it's a speed dating-relationship service. All of J's boyfriends were either her crushes or were rich and popular guys. All of her boyfriends took less than a week for J to say yes to them, that's also as fast as how they break-up when they have an argument.
Is it just me? Is it also the rest of the guys? Or is it just J? Does she have a playgirl attitude she's unaware of or is it simply because she's compulsive when in regards to relationships? Her scars still remains in me because of the harmful things she said. My friends got mad at her because J was still entertaining my courtship for 3 weeks when she already answered one guy, her crush back then. My friends and cousins knew about that and got mad at J. J then got angry and blamed it all on me. In the end I was merely a toy. I guess she just dumped me for own convenience and she got mad not because I was insincere, it was because she was caught. 6 months later they broke up and again... she said it was the guy's fault.
2 people like this
14 responses
@Sheeniepie (873)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
hi there..
well i think deep inside you know what she really is.
its not worth that you keep on remembering how she dumped you, because i think its really her escaped goat whenver she feels that she does'nt want the guy anymore., or not liking at all. But the best thing that you can do is to ignore the feeling, let her have it the way that she wanted it to be, just moved on with your life, i know that sooner or later, you would meet someone who deserves your love and attention, as for the girl, she's messing up her own life...
thanks^_^
cheers....
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
Well... a girl can be consider a playgirl once she wants more than one relationship... If shes in a relationship... I guess its just right and fair to avoid other from courting her ( as a respect for her boyfriend.) If the girl finds it easy to break up with his so called boyfriend... then do you think he matters to her? Honestly i dont believe in long courtship... but i dont think its good to change boyfriends like changing clothes... Dont worry about her... all that she have i think is her "beauty" she keeps on playing because she thinks that shes beautiful and guys would follow her...
Cut the chain...forget her... theres no need to be bitter... do you think you can trust her to be faithful to you if shes your gf???
Be thankful...shes not yours...
1 person likes this
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
I think you're right. God does things in mysterious ways. I guess if she had been my girlfriend then I wouldn't have met my love right now. You're right if she changes boyfriends that fast like she under time pressure then what more when we are a couple!?
@ogtuwan (312)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
Im sorry but I really pitty that girl.. Girls like J are sometimes, have broken family background, or have been hurt so bad with their first love. A certain girl is considerd playful if relationship for her is just for fun and does not involve commitment.. girls, like J, a girl like that, for NOW, is not looking for someone like you merkava... she is not looking for MR. Right...
J is just looking for MR. RIGHT-NOW! And dont feel bad.. I don't think you want to be that guy...
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
How can I help her if she keeps shooting me down. Let alone not trust me!? Trust is all I can offer but I guess she can't even believe that. I've already spoken with most of her boyfriends due to my cousin being their close friends in order of fairness. All they could say is that "she changes her mind a lot." A few said she is "wacko." I heard their said and I wanted to get J's side but again, she wouldn't let me. I can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I can't help someone who doesn't trust me.
I specially hated the time when we were together then she was mentioning about bad vices so I asked her if she was smoking and she said "no, because it would be shameful to my parents if I did" but during that time she was saying those to me I was clenching a picture that was taken 2 days ago of her in a party and was smoking. I hated her "reasoning" about not smoking and I specially hated it when she lied on my face. That was 20 minutes before the argument started and till now she doesn't know about it. If you're gonna lie, just don't get caught.
@kleinchik0104 (57)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
I think J is not sure of what she wants in her life... I don't think she is a playgirl coz what she's doing is also affecting her feelings. A playgirl/playboy is someone who intentionally wants to hurt someone's feelings just to stroke his or her ego... showing the world that guys or girls would drool over them no matter how painful it can get. They show this by having multiple relationships at a time. In her case, if J has dated a lot of men or had relationships one at a time and lasted for a short while, probably she is just out contentment. It's true that she may have family issues that psychologically affects her. She has this idea of love that she can't find somewhere romantically because what she might need is the love from a real family. But if it's not the case, she just probably uncontented and could not find what she truly wants. As for you, you know her and you know for a fact that she's not worth all the trouble. So why waste your time on her? There are more girls to choose from. Good luck!
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
I think you made me remember some things her closest friends told me about her. I think they were trying to warn me but instead of putting it to me directly they said it in a joking and questioning manner. J doesn't have a broken family but her father is always far from her. J even made an enemies out of some of her closest friends because she found out that a few of them have been keeping in contact with me?! How lame is that?! She acts like a communist if that were real, no information goes out about me or else!!!!
I was really disappointed when we were talking about her entering 1st year college. I was ahead by 3 years, I actually graduated my 1st course by that time. The reason why she just started because the school in Japan has 5th to 6th year high school. Anyway, she was really looking forward to take up her dream course, architecture because that's what her father's job is and she told me tales of her childhood where she would build model houses out of paper. I found that quite, she knew what she was during her youth. A few years passed by and she quit. She just said that architecture was hard and all other stuff. I wanted to try to convince her to stay in the game all in the sake of the story she told me about her dreaming of becoming like her that but it was no use. She went to another university had 3 relationships there, had another course which took her a long 5 years to finish. That point I didn't know what that girl's priority is in life. My cousin's friends who are also J's friends from her previous college all said that J would make a lovely trophy wife someday. She's 27 and isn't even working. You can learn some things about a person if you read, analyze the content of her friendster profile. :)
@kleinchik0104 (57)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
you know what, i pity a girl like her coz she seems to be misunderstood more often than not. people judge her because of her indecisiveness. yeah it maybe true that she is not worth your time and love if she's playin around but if you feel that she's just confused, just like the others... she just can't understand herself either. What she needs right now is not a boyfriend or a lover... she needs a friend who will hold her hand and help her go through this. She maybe unaware that she have issues... and that is where to start! To make her accept the things around and accept herself as a person. When she sees that then she'll know what to prioritize. She needs a friend who will tell her the things she did wrong and not a friend that will warn other men against his back. What she needs is love... not from a lover but from a person who truly cares for and who would help her change not for the reason of being loved back but for the reason of seeing a friend free from all the haziness of life.
@Squirrely (28)
• United States
15 Feb 07
There are plenty of fish in the sea, my man, plenty plenty plenty. And a lot of them are beautiful on the inside and out :)
@wildguy2 (1349)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
As the old saying goes....what goes around comes around...she will get hers someday. She will meet the guy that she may be trying to find , and when she does he will end up being the guy she should have avoided at all costs, then she will realize that of all the guys she could have had that she got this one that broke HER heart....
I also know a lot of girls like J, they are afraid of relationships, and having there heart broken, so they end the relationship before it goes to far, and this way she feels better, than to have the guy break up with her...by being the one to do the breaking up a man or girl feels they has a reason to do so and this makes them feel better about doing so....but usually somewhere down the road they realize what they have done so long ago and most times regret it.
@CinderInMySoul (4717)
• United States
15 Feb 07
i cant stand women like this, or men like that for that matter! lol
like the others said...dont waste anymore time or thought on her, she isnt worth it! she is a "gold-digger", leech or just plain b*tch.
most women out there that want nothing more than a sincere, faithful and caring guy. when "J" finally realizes that she had one and lost him because of her own stupidity, she will regret it. but by then you will have found someone that means the world to you and will be much happier for it!
keep looking for the right one dear, she is out there, and kick any thoughts of J out the window and to the curb. you deserve better and she isnt worthy of YOU!
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
thanks. I do have a girlfriend for 6 years now. I'm pretty sure now that if J were my gf we wouldn't last months. I just pray that J finds real happiness. I still care and think of her though and my gf understands that, I thank her for that. My gf knows what it's like to break-up a potential relationship and not ending it fully... it's like the person who had the last say, wins. But relationships are more than that, they're compromise. I think that's why I'm hurting is because I never go to tell J my side because it was always about her side. For that, I pity her. I'm not saying I'm a better man than her current boyfriend. All I'm saying is that I'm different than the jerk she assumed me to be.
@oiixdaii (1059)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
It's hard to define what is a playgirl. It's up to you to decide what she really is. For me, she is only the liberated type of girl following the saying "collect and collect then select". Maybe she is still looking for the right guy. I also think that if she gets into a relationship she doesn't love the person, she just likes the person or the person is only beneficial to her in some ways in short she is using her beauty as a tool to get what she wants.
@ciennabelle (90)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
hi! just like what the others have said, a girl is called "playgirl" if she is into more than one relationship at the same time. ask yourself, do you want to be one of her boyfriends? she's not serious at all. move on! go and find someone better and worthy to receive your attention. good luck! :)
@gnhuckie88 (52)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
you know what, like just what Ms. Ogtuwan here just said that J is looking for a MR.RIGHT NOW! is quietly true... and to be an example for that is me...
Actually, I have this girlfriend right now, she does the same things like J did as what you've said to us. We're already 5 months together, and we both hook up with each other bcoz she got pregnant with me as the father.
Well, as what my friends told me about,that my girl is really like that and like this and all the wrong things about her... i think they've already pounded on to my ears... but still im right here beside her... she is really though beautiful and attractive, even though she made mistakes but she also has this very nice and beautiful character inside. the longer that i get to know her, the more that i got myself into her...
I did understand her bcoz of her past; broken family and everything...
I still didn't get it until now of what is my purpose being with her, all i am thinking is that i think i should help her and be with her side always...
@mcaf1970 (140)
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
ladies & guys are considered a playgirl & a playboy when they just feel to fling around. they don't take their relatioships seriously. they only play with the feeling. they don't care if they're hurting one's feeling. they don't consider "love" a sacred feeling, a gift from God.
@etheljeah (98)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
oh lala,quite intriguing cause im from the pi back then. yeah,you can consider her a playgirl because of what she did and what she used on doin. but on some instances,it is isnt the girls' problem or what so ever,sometimes the guy isnt just right for the girl that's why they are havin difficulty jivin. that's why some people are havin lots and lots of boy/girlfriends during their HI and COLLEGE life. because they cannot find who are they lookin for and what they really want for a guy/girl. but not everyone who used to do that are considered playgirl,it depends on the situation. maybe if youre curious,you can talk to J and ask for her side of the long long story. =p
@maxim04 (20)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
being a playgirl for me means having a lot of boy frends at a time.. having a lot of relationships in the past doesnt follow youre a playgirl. maye for j, its her defense mech's [maybe she's a man hater and she's happy upon breaking a man's heart.and in the end she wud say, 'its his fault'] but then, of course she doent want to count guys that wer involved with her. who wants to have a ot of different relationships? it seems tht you wer never contented.. or you never learned frm the past.. she doesnt even tried to make u a part of her life. your'e ryt that u two could have not lasted for months, but who knows? you never got the chance. you two hasnt been in a relationship so we can never tell.. maybe you could last, maybe not.. just maybe's.. anyhows, im glad youve found your girl.. j's treatment with you seems all the pain's worth it, because it lead you to ur gf now.. **winks!!**
