Top Ten Ways Michael Jackson Would Be Cooler if He Lived in the Star Wars Univer

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1. Due to high loss-of-hand rate, wearing one glove is fashionably acceptable 2.Would not have needed huge effects budget for 'Captain EO' 3.Could really walk on moons 4.In shocking revelation, he might have really been the father of Billie Jean's son 5.After skin-altering disease, could become Light Lord of the Sith 6.Would have sure-fire hit with Sy Snootles duet 7.Would strengthen characterization of movies by making Luke look manly 8.Improved medical technology could make new nose and chin more realistic 9.Imperial breath mask could give him the deep voice he never had 10.Could ease tensions between Empire and Alliance with anti-violence message of 'Beat It'