My CHEATING HUSBAND of 12 YEARS

I was with my husband for 8 years, we had 2 children and then I found out he cheated with one of my family members.. I found out after she was in the hospital and gave birth to THEIR son. I knew she was pregnant, I just had no clue that it could have been his. it was painful. the day I found out I took my 2 kids and left. we had nothing. we had to start from scratch. I had to take my sons and go to a homeless shelter because I didnt have anywhere to go. after about a month or a month and a half we finally got a small 1 bedroom apartment. It was one of the hardest things I had to deal with in my life. I lost my husband, my kids lost their dad, I lost my family because of the situation. besides my mom, alot of the family put blame on me because he was my husband and I chose him.. it didnt matter that my family member was just as willing, its been 3 yrs and still no one speaks to me except for my mom.. I divorced my husband and have NOTHING to do with him.. my head is still a little messed up just because I cant believe he or she would hurt me like that and then for my family to turn their back but you know what, I am so much better without him. my kids are better without him. seperating at first can be hard but it does get easier. and your heart can heal. you dont have to accept his cheating. there are plenty on GOOD men out in this world that would love to make you their one and only and show you how a real man is supposed to be.. he is a loser.. Good luck and I wish u the best.

I'm so sorry, that is terrible.. I'm not certain why you're the one that moved though? I would have kicked his cheating butt out so fast it would make his head spin, as well as make sure he provides for the children. Big Hugs to you! Take care of yourself, your kiddo's need you!

this situation is so hard.. its messing my mind too.. im sorry at first reading i was shock as well, later i read most shared separations, it was very touching and im crying now.. we are women, we have the softest heart outside, a teary face and a pathetic position to imagine... but they never estimate our capabilities... we are solid and pure of strength inside.. our hearts may bleed, but after the healing we are like newly constructed jewel, we shine and we are so special again.. he is decieved by lust and temptation, and may he have the most of it, while it last... mark my word... one day he'll look for you and regret everything.. it may not be now or for the next years... but one day, somehow... it will come.. and he'll weep like a saint, he'll see and wake up in a complicated life.. for now, hes in joy and pleasure... your in pain and misery... but its just for now... everything will turn, and the wheel will turn into the other side and when he does realize, its all too late.. dont worry, somewhere in you is a blooming might. and a very gifted mom, that will make the talent out and before you know it, you are able to live the best thing of your life with youre kids when fate comes.. i'll send the highest prayer i can ever have... i'll ask the guiding spirit to be with you and shall never depart you.. and the guardian of tempest to watch for your kids.. god is not sleeping.. and karma is not blind.. i may want to send him to court, i may like to interfere and punch his face or slap his face a lot of times... but anger is just superficial, and none of us can make it go away, this misery is so heavy to carry, but i trust you and i know you can surpass the most violent storms of your life.. i believe you can, and remember this.... you will always have the last laugh.. and not now, it will be you time when his time runs out.. he will remember how much he have torn your soul.. lets have faith, and have the best of luck.. ^_^ we may not know each other, but my unknown and unexplained love and care...may reach you and share those burden, i wish it will be by your side.. i hope this response may ease your pain.. regards to the children, take care please for me.. ^_^

((HUGS))Where in WI? I live here!First of all,I know how it feels.My ex did not cheat that I know of, but he divorced me while our son was 4.I had no job and couldn't work(I was 3 yrs. into fighting for disability).He made up lies so he could try to get custody of our son(he just did nto want to pay ME child support).It was a horrible nightmare for me.I was also ordered to move from our home since I had no income.Luckily I proved it was all lies and I got placement of our son,and he had to pay child support. So I at least had $375 a month to live on-for the next 3 yrs. until I won my disability claim. It was a horrible experience and the first 3 yrs. of divorce was HORRIBLE struggling to survive. Good luck! I am so glad you have a freind helping you. My freinds offered but I had pets and noone woudl accept pets.I would NEVER get rid of my pets.Luckily I got Section 8 and it helped with my rent.

As with any break up-especially with children it will be hard. But please remember that not all men are scummy. I was married for 21 years when my first left me with no money no car no home. It took about 8 months to get my head on straight, my son was in the NAVY, so I didn't have to worry about him in that manner. You have it rougher because you have young children. But you can do it! You are saying "adventure" to your kids, so that will not have them feeling totally lost. That is a great way to look at and teach your kids that when something bad happens you can still find good in it with the right attitude. You are good. : ) Now you can go to college-like I did. I got a degree. To keep me pumped and always working toward the betterment of me I put a picture of my EX and his new wife on my binders for school and I did it! You can and you will make it. There are grants and all kinds of college programs for single mothers. YOU GO GIRL! One thing I learned from the first divorce is that I will never again hang my hat in the livingroom of marriage-both figuratively and metaphorically. I will love me first then the man I am in love with, but my hat is all over the house. I wear it, I put it away, I place it on a table or on the coat rack, on my bed or dresser. But marriage will never be for me again. I am that strong. You can be, too. You are on the way girlie, this is a good thing.

im a man that my wife did same to me after 20 years.she cleaned my clock.so it happens both ways.but back to your problem.he should have made sure yall had a home an support,all i can tell you to do get all you can,make him pay for how he did it.good luck

I honestly don't know how anyone could do this to another person. How awful for you. It is good that you have the support of your best friend. I hope your children are okay.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but better now than after 20 yrs. He will live to regret this and no doubt come crawling. His children may never forgive him for this!. Make sure that your not a part of their opinion of their Dad, Try NOT to bad mouth him in front of the kids. YOU - this will no doubt be one of the hardest things you willo ever go through but take it from one who's been where you are . YOU are better off than you think you are, and you will come out of this stronger and a better person for it. Hell has NO fury like a woman scorned and I am here to tell you sweetie your the lucky one ! SHE has to find out he's a jerk yet. Your a survivor and you will fight to be strong. Hang in there it's only up from here. DO it by the book. Believe me he will not skate for free, especially since there are children involved. Go get free leagal council and make sure you follow it to the tea. Hit em where they live... $$$$ talks. She cannot be much of a person if she supports his decision to kick out his wife and children? SHe must be a real prize ! NOT!!! But anyway go to an attorney ASAP and they will make darn sure your taken casre of... they can attach his wages. How long will she stay with a BROKE man! LOL You go girl... no pouting, no tears, no fear, no turning back! Your going to be so much better off soon. Good LUck.....

Wow, that's a shocker. I like to say I'm not in that situtation, but, I guess you never know after what you're going through. I hope you take him to the cleaners. If nothing else, make sure he's paying child support. You and your kids shouldn't have to suffer for his severe selfishness, and lack of restraint.

Do I understand you right - you are having to move out of the family home and he is staying? That is outrageous!! He has defaulted - he should move. There must be some legal action you can take on this? I mean, if you have the home then at least you can take in borders and earn some money. My heart bleeds for you and your children. What a bounder!

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this and that he's being so cruel and heartless and not giving you any money or a place to live. Is your name on any of the bank accounts? If he hasn't frozen them, I recommend going and taking out some money. Is the house only in his name? If not, maybe you could tell him to forget, you're not leaving the house with the kids, but he should leave. Whatever he says, HE is the one with the problem. There is no reason for him to do this, he seems to either A. want to hurt you on purpose or B. upset you enough so that you do leave the house with the kids right away so he can stay. I don't know how someone can do that.... but I've learned that some people have a lot of meanness in them... You'll need time to heal and it will take a long time...but maybe someday you'll meet someone who is BETTER for you and would never dream of hurting you like that.

Take care of your children first and formost. Make sure they understand that at least one parent loves them and will always be there for them. Second, get an attorney and take him to the cleaners. I would not have left the house, but you can make his life H*ll buy forcing him to give up all his material possessions because half of them are yours. I am single, but I know I would never want to be a man who so easily could just and leave him wife and family for me. If they do it once, they will not think twice of doing it again. I wish you best of luck and remember you are strong and can handle this.

its very stringent to read, even i am crying after read ur story. i m praying that no one shuld have fate like u.u also doin so .

I know it's really hard to start over but I know you can do it. The important thing is your kids are with you. That's a terrible thing he did but believe me it is his loss. Goodluck to you and just take one step at a time.

my sympathy to you.. but i guess your husband must have been really dissatisfied or maybe he just needed to avoid all his responsibilities

Your husband sounds like a real jerk . It may not be his fault if he fell out of love but it was his fault when he took this as an o.k to cheat without informing you of his dicision and it is his fault when he leaves you with no money , which means no money for his children and it is his fault when he takes the roof out from under you . You should go after him for everything he has , for starters you deserve something for the last 12 years and it doesn't sound like he cares much about the children since it doesn't sound like you have enough money for them to live and with no place . Thank goodness for your friend . I understand how much of a state of shock you are in and how bad you are feeling inside (as I have been there too many times ). I know this does nothing to help you right now but I will say a prayer for you and your children and hopefully before too long you will find someone new and realize it was a good thing as you don't need someone like him . You can definitely do better then him and by the sounds of it you are way to good for him anyway . I don't understand how someone can do this either but I do know you can do better then someone who can throw away all you had without even talking to you first or trying to fix anything . Best of Luck !!

Firstly, I want to congratulate you for being brave on sharing your domestic problem here in myLot. Whatmore, you are in a state of shock. It life sister, when there are no more love between each other or there is a third party, things happened. And it happen for a reason, and only God knows why. Sometime, man dont just appreciate what they already have, and started to find our fault when they fall in love without another. They forgot that we, woman, have been doing all their chores for them. They didn't see our sacrification just because they have another one. Usually, they will only realise our effort, our sacrification and our loyalty if the relationship with the other woman didn't work. But then, they hurt us too much for us to accept them back. It good that you have a fren who wanted to take u n ur kids. Try to be independent and get up again. I believe you can. Take care, I feel for you and my prayer is with you. May God give you streng and courage in facing this problem.

I understand what you feel. My ex-husband cheated on me after 11 years. I have come to realize that we were just too young when we started out. Neither of us really had an opportunity to grow up and experience life because we were togehter since freshman year of high school. It is so difficult to deal with but with time it gets easier. I wish you the best and hope that you find the strength to make it through this ordeal.

yes, i had a wife too and she ended up with the children, our house, the car and all the furniture...also i had to pay child support until they became 18 years old. but all that is in the past as I did my obligation but I found out the hard way that although children may love their parents..they rarely really forgive them i did not bad mouth my childrens mother so since they were raised by her they are very close to her ..she has been since married and divorced six times..i was husband number two...but she had four more husbands since i married her and my son and daughter have had both been married and divorced..my daughter three times and my son once...so since then I have been married for 22 years but my current wife was never married before and we have no children..but we do have a pet shih tzu male..named "Reggie"... I feel sorry that your children will not have the support of a father and a mother ..but there is life after divorce...all you have to do now is try to get him to pay up his money that he owes his children...you are a single mother that has her work cut out for herself...i don't think your ex planned on doing this to you...people change after marriage..eventually he will be brought to justice but in the mean time you will have to fend for yourself and raise two children ..good luck..there still is a lot of good people out there in the world and i hope you find a new life and loyal friends to share your life with...looking back i don't know why i marrried the women i did..sometimes we just have to play the cards that God deals us..pray and pray often..your faith will not be forsaken...God has a plan for all His children...

first let me say i'm so sorry for all you're going through.i know how hard it is to just let go of something that you've put everything into.i do want to let you know that there is an alternative if you don't want to give up.let me know if you'd like to know what it is ok. -roniray559-