parents or wife

Ok so the wife wants to live in her own home and have her own freedom. Parent's agree , but you want to be there for your parents at the same time have a happy married life. My Sollution find a place right next to your parents. More importantly if this was something so important to you and you always told your wife about it then she is unreasonable, but then again one may think that they can do something, i.e. live with parents, but in reality it is a lot harder.

he should listen to both his wife and parents. They're married and should take control over their lives now that they've more responsibilities and independence. Relying on parents for housing and maybe food among other things means relinquishing your control and power over what you want to do with your life. If the parents are too weak around their children, well, that shouldn't be imposed on, after all they're not getting younger and need evrything they can get for the bills. Men are pig-headed and needs a little nudge in the right direction. Maybe a heart-to-heart talk with him will help come around and realize that he's being idiotic.

i basically think it has to do more with the nature of males in general... psychologically.. men have this burden on their minds all the time.. that they are resposible for everyone welfare... in that case... considering the situation you have mentioned i think sometimes men do not want to leave their parents behind,,,

Ok, I am going to bring a little religion into this-but my bible says that man is to leave his parents and cleave to his wife. So, I think you should go with your wife. I have lived with my husbands parents-we women do not like it. We want to be the only woman in the house. My husbands mother constantly vies for my husbands attention and love. Stay with your wife.

Hi shan20us, It's nice of you to discuss about this before you come to an agreement with your future wife to be.:) It's a complicated issue here, because one loves his parents and one loves his future wife to be or wife. Perhabs, set a time period where you both (the husband and wife) live together with the inlaws for let's say 2 years at the most and see how it goes. After that, when one decide it's better to have a space for the new family; try to find a house close by to the inlaws. Hopefully within that period of 2 years she could learn to love the inlaws as the husband loves and respect the parents. Or at least, she could understand why the husband really care so much to live with the parents, though they have their new family as well.

as scripture says in Ephesians 5:31-33 "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. This is a great mistery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." As a female, it is easier to live with only the husband and not his parents or her parents for that matter. I can not imagine living with my husbands parents. Nor can he. They try to tell us how we should live and when we were married, we did that to start our own life and to have our own home to raise our children with. I however think that she should respect your wishes also, so maybe like one of the other posts said you could build a house close to your parents. It also says in the bible that the man should be head of "his household" and how can you do that for your wife if your father is the head of the household. This is hard and is something that you and your wife are going to have to sit down and discuss. Tell her your feelings and let her tell you hers and try to understand each other and come to a conclusion. I hope you both get everything resolved. Good luck!

Hey Shan20us, Nice Topic raised by you! I am not married, but If ever my wife said me like that, I will leave her at once and choose my Parents. I know my parents will be agree with my wife, because they want my happiness as all parents know! If you are a Parent, just imagine your Son leaving you for his spouse, what must you feel? And what you tell? Our Parents raised us, What not they have done for us??? Is it justful if we leave them because our wife said that, when our wife came just in recent time, were as our parents raised us since we were infants!!!!!!!! No I will not leave my parents even if they force me to do so!!!!!!!

You do not say why you want to stay and live with your parents. If your future wife wants a home of her own, and your parents agree, why are you not agreeing also? Many people here have said very good things with good ideas for how to fix this problem. The best, I think, is to have your home very close to your parents. That way, you are the man of the house and your wife can do things for you as a wife should. Do you have a job? Can you afford to support a wife and family? If not, you shouldn't get married yet. Are your parents sick? Do they need daily care? If so, then maybe you should reconsider getting married at all. It's not fair to bring your wife into your parents home if she has to take on the responsibility for their care as well as yours. But if you have a job, and your parents are healthy, then you should be the man and take your wife to your home (even if it's next door to your parents.) You don't need to abandon your parents, no matter what, but being married has its own responsibilities that you should live up to also.

when you marry then man and woman should leave their parents to build a home of their own. This is biblical and this is the right thing to do. When you get married then difinitely you both love each other... and to make the relationship grow, then the best thing is to live alone so as to cope up with every changes in their lives.

Your wife comes from a different family and has grown up in a different world from yours in terms of food, surroundings etc..so she will take some time to adjust to your family. It is always better to remain independant. I am sure your parents are mature to understand this and the reason why they ask you to leave alone. You can have privacy and have your own life and live separately, at the same time, visit your parents often and meet them frequently and take care of their needs. That way, both your wife and parents are happy, and as a result, you can be happy too. Life is all about adjustments, nothing about listening to anyone...happiness is a state of mind!

The parents should take care of girl's life till marriage.After that the remaining whole life is with her husband.So she must be more lovable to his husband than her parents.Same in the case of man.He must look after his parents.Also he must more care to his wife.................

its very simple my 1st prefrance would be my parents and 2nd prefrance would be wife, i am not saying dont care u should care both equily

What i think over here is that its better that the husband stays with his wife reason being. 1. every parent would think that their children should have a good life so if he's gona say about his wives desire thinking that he would be happy they would say yes. 2. His wife would be happy that her husband is listening to her and is there for her happines due to which she would allow him to do what he wants. At this point the husband could say that he's come away from his parts for her and that he would just like to help his parents. I dont think any wife would say no to ot when her husband is so loving. 3. His parents have lived most part of their life. and the boy has juat started living his part of life. So its better that he stays with his wife.

This can be a hard situation. A husband and wife need time alone and the usual thing to do is make a life of your own living away from others in your own house. You have to ask a few questions. Why are they living with his parents? Is it for financial help? Is it because the parents need extra care? What is the wife's relationship with the parents like? Do they get along or is there tension everywhere? How important is the marriage to the husband and wife? Marriage is hard enough without adding others to it that interrupt the daily activities. I am not really sure what the answer would be not knowing the people involved, but I would say that if the marriage is a good one and it is important, then move, be a couple alone. A person can still live close enough to see and take care of their parents. I guess I just believe that in marriage, you do what is needed to keep it strong and alive as long as it is legal. A man shall leave his parents and cling to his wife, that is the saying I was brought up on. It doesnt mean you forget you have other family members, it means that the wife is now your responsibility and also the husband is the wife's responsibility. I hope this helps, since all I had o go on was the info you provided.

I think you need to listen to your wife. You two need to be alone and live together without your parents. You can always visit your parents...but your wife you will be with forever...you need to love and respect her wishes and make her happy...

he nead to get out on his one and leve his parents to live thire life on thire own so they can do the thing older parents do by then self. them he can be the man not the littel boy that live with momy and dady

you should take care of your wife, but do not forget your parents, they need love and affecton too. just treat them both fairly, because they both important to you... just enjoy being married and live with your family... good day

I am a wife so maybe you can hear it from a wife's point of view. Every married couple has a different setup--you either live with the man's family, live with the woman's family or live apart of your families. That should already be discussed BEFORE they even got married. You see, each setup has its own advantages and disadvantages, but if you live with one set of in-laws, one party is always at a disadvantage. In the case that you are trying to point out, the wife will always be at a disadvantage when she lives with her in-laws. She will always have to bow down to the in-laws regarding the household keeping, child rearing, budgeting of the household expenses, even the way she acts and dresses is always an issue! Especially when they don't get along, or don't share the same ideas. Even with open minded in-laws, the wife will never feel like she has her own household, unless there comes a point many many years later when the in-laws grow old and die. Also, the in-laws may not necessarily like their daughter-in-law! Of course, some girls (or guys for that matter) just choose to accept the situation BUT the situation should have already been resolved even before the marriage itself. All cards should have already been laid on the table. In the situation you presented, the man is the only one who wants to live with BOTH parents and wife. He should have considered the feelings of both parties. I would not really say that he is selfish because I really do not know what his reasons are for wanting to stay though. A good alternative is to find a separate housing near the parent's house so that they are close by but not in the same household.

When you get married your primary family if your wife and the kids that you will have...The couple must talk about in a mature way...If the wife ask him to leave his parents maybe she has good and valid reason for that, so as the man for staying with his parents...its a different story then if one has no reason at all. For my situation we are living with my parents and we talked about it...at first we don't agree but when I explain the situation to him he then agreed...but told me that in a couple of years we will then live in a separate house...but if one has no reason for staying with parents maybe he is not ready to have a family. Or he love his parents more than his wife...if no valid reason why live on your own as your parents did...leaving with in-laws is quite complicated.

Well, I guess the best way to resolve this is to move out but get a house near your parents like within the same district or something.. within driving distance so u can pop over as often as you want and they won't feel that neglected. i guess the wife is only doing that because she needs like private time.. no matter how much she may like the parents or how liberal are they, she would still prefer to have a home of her own to do whatever she wants and create a private world for her and her husband.... Kinda i guess...