What is the funniest....

My niece used my mothers name to get credit at a couple of stores. My mother was not aware of this. For some reason they were calling my brother who lives in the same town as we do. My niece however lives 3000 miles away. My brother got so mad because bill collectors were calling and asking for my mother..not my niece, and wouldn't stop calling. He put the following message on his answering machine. "Hello, please pay close attention to the following message. R... S..... does not live here. If you are calling for her hang up now. I will not be taking messages. This is not her telephone number. If you leave a message for her it will be delete. All others leave a message and we'll get back to you asap. I'm not kidding if your still there don't do it...hang up now. We didn't believe him but he really did it and it's still there...lol

Everyone else thought this was so funny but I thought it was just plain rude. My nephew who is 12 years old left the following welcome message on their answering machine: "Hello, We now have caller ID. We really dont want to talk to you so just leave a message so we can delete it and get it over with"

My answering machine used to say "Hi! I am here but I am probably changing a diaper or up to my elbows in playdoh. Leave a message and I will call you at naptime."

When I lived on my own mine said.."Welcome to the home of the hits hotline. Please leave your message and song request and I'll get back to you as soon as possible"..this was then followed by about 10 seconds of me singing the song that had been requested the previous day....kept the debt collectors off the phone, it was great

Has anyone hear heard of Ethel Merman? She sang There's no business like show business...One year I decided to do a message in my best Ethel impression...Hellooooo there's no one hoooome so leave a message at the tooone..thank you. Every message on my machine began with laughter first, then a "that was really good". One message started with laughter and then I dialed the wrong number, hahahah, but thank you for making me laugh. I saved that tape..from 1991. It's hilarious.

The funniest message I remember was a "Hello you've reached Bill's Rubber Band Repair Shop..Have you been throwing out your old broken rubberbands? Now with this revolutionary new knot tying process I can save you $25.00 in a lifetime by fixing instead of destroying your used and abused rubberbands.....no more trips to the office supply shop to buy new rubberbands...no more running out of your favorite color rubberbands...just place your torn, rotten unusable rubberbands into a regular business envelope and mail them to our processing station at 100 No Stretch Lane, New Elastic City...if we can't tie them up for you we'll reconnect them with a super glue technique that will guarantee at least one more use out of each useless band...Think of the satisfaction you will have knowing you have helped save the environment with this recycling bonanza...Bill's Rubber Band repair is the service you have long awaited...by no stretch of the imagination will you have to wait any longer...leave a snappy message at the tone and we'll return your call with the best bounce back you've ever experienced..... Wow...it was long but his voice made it hilarious...we wrote it down and kept it in our address book for years...your post reminded me of it and I went looking for it...What a concept..rubberband repair..and for his friend's sanity they knew they could just push the pound key to pass the message and leave their own..I guess he got many messages that were just laughter and lots of people passed his number around so that others could enjoy it..he would them update the repair message with new adjectives each week....over the years he had hundreds of lengthy but funny bits of humor for his callers...he loved to make people laugh..

I used to love messing around with goofy stuff on my answering machine. I had a message once where I said "Hello" (like you'd normally answer it) then I'd say "Hello??" (like when you answer and nobody says hello back) then "Hellllloooooho? Is anybody there?" People would start going Joy...it's me, can't you hear me, or they'd just start talking like it wasn't a machine message and I was on the line, then it'd dawn on them that it was my machine picking up and they'd usually start laughing. Once I did a rap about "I'm not home, talk into de phone, don't be a creep when ya get the beep, leave the word don't be a nerd...etc. Goofy is fun sometimes, lol. Gotta keep 'em wondering, hahaha.

LOL! Your friend's message, was it intended to be funny? Because I think that the fact that it doesn't seem like it's meant to be funny, is what makes it hilarious *laugh* I don't remember anything really like laugh out loud funny, because I haven't called anyone with an answering machine in years (literally), but my best friend's family used to have this really cute song about their family set to the song about 10 Little Indians (or whatever number of indians it is.. i can't think *laugh*) - that was one of my favorites. ^_^

1. Of all the answering machines in the world you had to call mine? 2. Greetings this is science officer Spock, currently there are no life forms able to take your call. 3. You have reached the Monty Python silly voice preservation society. 4.Thank you for calling 911, we are closed right now because everyone is at the donut shop.

an uncle of mine promised to give me some money,but since his line has been entering answering mechine.

Hi this is *** and ****, you know the drill. It would be funny if someone said, Hi this is ***, leave a message, I'll call back if it sounds important.

My husband put a message on the answering maching that just said "speak". That was it, when my father in law rang it and got that message for the first time he swore and hung up. We got a huge laugh out of it as this was why we did it, just to get a stir out of my father in law.

Had a friend of my son wwho's families message was as follows: You have reached the **** residence. If you are trying to sell something we're not interested. If you are a bill collector the check is in the mail. If you really want to talk to us, please leave a message and we will call you back. I thought it was pretty funny. May have been a little rude, but it was unique to say the least.

Why don't you try to make like you really answering."hello...hello...hello...can you speak louder, I can't hear you well. hello...hello...yes I can hear you now, please live a message, thank you". Soon or later they will facing you talking about your answering machine.

I do not know anybody who has answering machine. Everybody is available by cell. And if not than it is switched off. Since the costs of mobile talkings are so low, nobody has home telephone...only the cell. But I like the simple message you heard on your friend's machine:)