Would you tell your partner?
By SageMother
@SageMother (2277)
United States
February 17, 2007 5:13pm CST
One of my nuttier friends had an affair and got a sexually transmitted disease.
Its not one of those that can lie dormant for years either so its pretty obvious she got it from ther little stud. Now she is trying to keep the information from her husband. This seems really stupid to me because he should know about his risk at being exposed, plus he will constantly reinfect her.
When he starts having symptoms, and I assume that he will eventually, he will be tyring to figure out how in the world this happened to him, and will probably blame her anyway.
Would you tell your partner if you had similar circumstance?
13 people like this
43 responses
@bharath190586 (17)
• India
18 Feb 07
its better to say the truth out and face the consequence than keep it hidden.your friend dosent get the courage to come up and tell the truth.that always happens in case of serious issues.help her come out with it and stay with her when she is in trouble.thats the best you can give and the best she can do for her problem.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
18 Feb 07
OH I NEVER do that with friends. She is responsible for her own actions.
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Feb 07
I would definitely tell. It is completely irresponsible of people to hide these sorts of things. No matter what the possible harm to the relationship, it is more important to make someone aware that their health is at risk.
*shakes her head* I can't believe people like this. Obviously she didn't something wrong by cheating in the first place, but she's only making it worse now. She'd be better off telling him. And if he does end it with her, then maybe she'll be better off because she'll have learned her lesson.
4 people like this
@crimsonblues (1191)
• United States
17 Feb 07
Its WRONG and in some places illegal to not tell your partner. If you're passing on an STI without that persons knowledge you can get into a lot of trouble..Esp if that disease is HIV or AIDS.
3 people like this
@mystic_0318 (937)
• United States
18 Feb 07
Oh yes I would tell my husband If I did have an affair. I have had my husband cheat on me but...never gave me anything and thank God for that...But I would have enough repect to let them know....
3 people like this
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
18 Feb 07
I'd definitely tell my partner. It's wrong and completely unfair not to tell him. And of course there is no way to keep this from him forever, so the sooner she tells him, the easier it's going to be, because as you've stated when he starts having symptoms he will be wondering where it came from.
2 people like this
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
18 Feb 07
Well first of all I would have never cheated on my husband. That is just so wrong. But if I did I would never give him any disease and not tell him about. It sounds like your friend has a lot of issues to deal with.
@sandgroper1 (629)
• Australia
18 Feb 07
How would you not be able to tell him, sooner or later he is going to figure it out and where it came from unless he's been playing hanky panky as well. I wouldn't do that to my partner if i did play up and got a sti i would have to tell him. My partner would know and our relationship would be over, but i dont need to go anywhere else.
2 people like this
@mike_24_11 (10)
• India
18 Feb 07
Indeed. These are the things that you should learn to be brave with if you want to have such guddies. And actually the doctor only should tell her partner about this risk if she herself doesnt tell.
2 people like this
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
18 Feb 07
There are couple where this type of activity is not a threat to the relationship, I am glad that you brought this aspect up. For smoe people there is no cheating because their relationship is founded on things that are more important, like the life they actually build together. Many believe that if a relationship is to last it must be able to expand and contract with then needs of both parties, but only with the agreement of both parties...meaning those who are the members in the marriage, not the agreements between the partner and the person he wishes to "cheat" with.
1 person likes this
@farieyfly (6)
• United States
18 Feb 07
If she doen't want to open up a can of worms with the hole cheatting thing tell him she got it off a public tolete. But tell him is the key here
2 people like this
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
18 Feb 07
I am sure we are all sophisticated enough to know that is wasn't a toilet seat that gave it to her.
@annie2478 (47)
• United States
18 Feb 07
yes i would tell my spouse because when you get married I am a firm believer no secrets in a marriage.
2 people like this
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
18 Feb 07
Well she can't pass this one off as it came from the toilet seat. Seriously, she has to tell him that she had an affair and caught an STD. If I was in this situation, I would tell my husband about the affair and the infection. He would have to be treated too.
2 people like this
@ronita34 (3922)
• Canada
18 Feb 07
Now this is a big deal here as in the end he will only find out that she has been lying to him the entire time and this will make the situation that much worst in the end! An STD just does not appear out of the blue like this and she really needs to step up to the plate and tell her Husband the truth about everything!
2 people like this
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
18 Feb 07
First of all, I would never cheat in the first place. But if I did, I would definitely tell my husband because I would love him and I would be worried about his health. You should tell her if she loves him at all, then she would care enough to tell him. She should also explain that it was a long time ago, and she loves her huband and would never do it again. If in fact, she wouldn't again.
1 person likes this
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
18 Feb 07
I have noticed alot of people staritng with "I would never cheat". I believe the question DOES say "in similar circumstances". I don't know why so many people can't reply without considering that whether or not they WOULD cheat is not the issue. The question is to address as situation where you HAVE cheated.
Please accept this as a hypothetical situation. I really don't want to know the liklihood of it actually happening to each respondent.
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
18 Feb 07
I agree! Wouldn't she feel guilty?
1 person likes this
