Funny Ideas and Quotes
By lprhll
@lprhll (387)
Italy
February 18, 2007 12:33am CST
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic?'
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why the man who invests all your money is is called a broker?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
2 people like this
11 responses
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
18 Feb 07
An armless man in a long jacket walks into a bathroom and stands by a urinal...
Soon seeing he needs help to use the toilet he asks a closeby man, " Can you help me point my p*nis"?
The man reluctantly accepted but, decided not to look at the mans p*nis. After a few seconds of holding it he thinks, " Hey! I'm grabbing it right"? " So I should look, I have a right"!
He looks down at the mans member and sees that is beyond hidious. Startled he jumps back and lets go, asking. " What the hell is wrong with it?"
The "armless" man pulls his arms out of his jacket and says "I dunno, but, I ain't touchin' it." and walks away.
2 people like this
@lovesfreedom (1245)
• United States
18 Feb 07
The NFL decided today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league.
So, they have decided to combine the Green Bay Packers with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, causing many layoffs, but saving millions of dollars in cost.
The new team will be known as the TAMPACKS.
Unfortunately, they are only good for one period and have no second string.
@zainogenius (289)
• Pakistan
18 Feb 07
well well it is so true about congress but these jokes are really really very funny and they are out standing u gave me a good laugh!!
thanX a lot!!
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
18 Feb 07
This guy is walking along a dirt road when he stubbles upon an redneck lying on the ground with his ear in the dirt.
"Are you alright? What are you doing?" the man asks but gets no answer at all.
The redneck doesn't even acknowledge that he is there.
So after a while of silence the man asks again, "Can I help you sir?"
The redneck replies this time. "Ford pick-up truck, blue, 18 inch rims, two passengers, female driver." "Wow! You can tell all that by listening to the ground!" the man says. "NO" The redneck replies with a shocked look on his face "The b*tch ran over me 10 minutes ago!"
1 person likes this
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
18 Feb 07
An armless man in a long jacket walks into a bathroom and stands by a urinal...
Soon seeing he needs help to use the toilet he asks a closeby man, " Can you help me point my p*nis"?
The man reluctantly accepted but, decided not to look at the mans p*nis. After a few seconds of holding it he thinks, " Hey! I'm grabbing it right"? " So I should look, I have a right"!
He looks down at the mans member and sees that is beyond hidious. Startled he jumps back and lets go, asking. " What the hell is wrong with it?"
The "armless" man pulls his arms out of his jacket and says "I dunno, but, I ain't touchin' it." and walks away.
@haissam (93)
• Pakistan
19 Feb 07
Man in a village heard a loud voice as some thing has dropped in front of his house. He rushed out and find a 11 year old boy who was standing near a huge/bulk bundle of grass. He took child in his house and serve him water boy drink water and said am sure my father will beat me. He ask him for lunch and after lunch boy said Thank u butt .. am sure my father will beat me. Man thought that boy is too frustrated he talk with him for some time more in the end the child said ahhhhhhhhhhh he will beat me. The man ask while pulling his hairs why coz u r late. No no boy replied coz he is under that grass bundle
@money_maker01 (1097)
• Malaysia
19 Feb 07
hi there, thank you for sharing your funny idea.i just woke up opened mylot. i saw your jokes. i laugh all the way by myself this orning. thak you for giving a nice starting day for me.lol
@crsoccerplayer6 (96)
• United States
19 Feb 07
That jokes are very funny and I consider you post more. I gave me a good laugh and I needed that. Thank you.
