jokes

Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one question to get into heaven. The first nun is asked who the first man on earth was. She replies, ''Oh that's easy, Adam!'' Lights flash and the pearly gates open. The second nun is asked ''Who was the first woman on earth?'' she says, ‘‘that's easy, Eve!'' Lights flash and the gates open. The Third nun is asked, ‘‘what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?'' The nun is puzzled and can't figure it out, so she says, ‘‘that's a hard one.'' Lights flash up and the pearly gates open.

"What do you call a fly that has no wings?" "A stationery"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. ''Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'' Watson replies, ''I see millions of stars.'' ‘‘what does that tell you?'' Watson ponders for a minute. ''Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?'' Holmes is silent for a moment, and then speaks. ''Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.''