5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

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The questions are: 1.What are you thinking about? 2.Do you love me? 3.Do I look fat? 4.Do you think she is prettier than me? 5.What would you do if I died? Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a.Baseball. b.Football. c.How fat you are. d.How much prettier she is than you. e.How I would spend the insurance money if you died. Question # 2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include: a.I suppose so. b.Would it make you feel better if I said yes? c.That depends on what you mean by love. d.Does it matter? e.Who, me? Question # 3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are: a.Compared to what? b.I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin. c.A little extra weight looks good on you. d.I've seen fatter. e.Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died. Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include: a.Yes, but you have a better personality b.Not prettier, but definitely thinner c.Not as pretty as you, when you were her age d.Define 'pretty' e.Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died. Question #5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is "Buy a Corvette.")