Caring to much, is this a problem?

You giving her sensible advise shows you're a caring person and there's not one bit wrong about it. The problem with your friend is that her eyes are close and blinded by all the abuse her boyfriend is doing to her. People like her tend to get defensive when someone is telling her what is really the right thing to do and that physical abuse is not acceptable. You did your part well and its really up to your friend whether she will listen or not.

I dont think its possible to care too much. Maybe your friend is just angry and took it out on you. Im sure she will feel bad for it later. Dont let this affect who you are. The people that love you respect you for this and im sure they would miss your caring ways terribly if you changed. Just dont worry about it,soon it will be obvious to your friend that you was right.

A person can never care too much, although sometimes we might be a little unwise in the decisions we make and this appears to be what has happened here. Did your friend tell you personally that her boyfriend was hitting her or do you have that knowledge from some other source? Nobody likes to be given personal advice regarding their realtionship, at least not when it is negative and although you might be right, she has to make the decision as to what to do. If she has allowed herself to be cut off from her friends, that is her choice and although you do care about her, you can do nothing to help her either. Life is about making choices, and she chooses to stay with her boyfriend. You cannot make that decision for her, and although you think he is wrong in his actions, the fact remains that it is her choice. Oh, I do agree with you on the fact that abuse is so completely wrong and also against the law in most countries, but you cannot force her to leave him. So, you should be a good friend to her. Offer her an ear, so to speak, listen to her, invite her over sometimes for a get-together. That means just you two and not the boyfriend as well in this instance. Let her know that you are there for her, but DO NOT criticise the boyfriend in any fashion because that will turn her more towards him. You can always highlight how things are going in your own relationship in a very pleasant way that is. I have a very dear friend who was in an abusive marriage for many years, and strangely enough I thought her husband not the nicest person I had ever met, but that was all. It was about 15 years after we met that I found out the truth, and then it was from their oldest child. Of course I comforted the young man, a good friend of my own son, and did nothing else. I also knew that she would realise that I knew the truth, but let her make the moves. It took her another 3 years before she spoke to me about it, and I offered her my support etc. Then it took her another 4 years before she kicked him out and wouldn't allow him back until he did certain things, including an anger management course etc. This he did but by this time he had moved away to another town because of his work. They started seeing each other, and now are very happy together. What I am saying here, is that my friend had to make the choice what she was prepared to put up with. When she had enough, she put her conditions down and her husband chose to listen to her - probably the first time ever - and now things are going fine. Also it has not affected the relationship we have because I didn't interfere. What I am saying is be a good friend, care enough to want to support her but not enough that you interfere. When she is ready for help, she will ask for it but until that time just be there for her. In the meantime, either phone her, or even send a short note, saying you were out of line but it is just that you care for her welfare. :)

you can't care too much, I don't believe that for a second, you can make stupid decisions because you care which seems to be her problem, you can be overly sensitive because you care, but you can't care to much. the trouble with the conversation was that your friend was not emotionally ready to her the truth. battering of women is illegal here in Canada, I don't know where you live but you didn't do anything wrong to mention it.

well for me it always depends as i knw my limits and had drawn my boundaries for interfering and infringing so better see for whom u have concerns and cares ,,,,,,,,amd think alot before u show it as may be the pupil dont understand and miscontrue u fare deeds so beware do get hurt!!

i think you hit the nail right on the head with this one! i've been told by some people that i care too much about some things (thankfully none have said that to me about my g/f yet lol). i'm the same way, tho...when it comes to things i do care about, i've been told that i get carried away with some things i do, but like you i honestly don't know if it's a bad thing to care that much about some things. i also do agree that there need to be more people in the world that care more about things other than themselves or just care about something in general. not sure i answered your question with this, but wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one that feels this way =)

i am a caring person, too. but not too vocal about everything. i don't easily give my opinions. i listen first and take all sides of the story. and if one day the person involved come to me and ask for an advice,that's the only time i share my views. if he/she won't like it, well, atleast i said it since he/she wanted to hear my side. well, i know it's not a problem to care. we just need to look for the right timing. i know you are a nice person. but people around you might not understand you a lot. so, just take care and watch out, too.

Some times it happens that people take your caring otherwise. I feel sorry for those person who don't understand the care of a friend or any other near and dear one. Personally I do care for my friends and family and I also like if they also care for me. May be your friend does not want to accept the fact. Or I don't know as a person how she behave with other things when it comes about someone caring for her.

i would've told her the same thing. any man that hits a woman is a coward. she should know that. i dont think caring is a problem. i think that people are just inconsiderate to people that care about them.

caring too much is not a problem at all caring a person means u r increasing ur love towards him or her if u wont care u will spoil ur realtionships so thers no harm caring too much

yes imy hubby cares me alot.he wants me to be with hime every second and b'cos of this i am not getting time to even to spend 10 minutes with by beloved ones

For starters I don't think you did anything wrong , you were stating how you felt and it was the truth and this is what probably bothered her . She may have been embarassed talking about it and maybe this is what made her lash out at you , but no matter what I don't feel that you deserved the lashing out she gave you .

Do NOT for one second thing that it is possible to care too much. Her response was TYPICAL of abused women. They are so emotionally screwed up, that they actually DEFEND their abusers. So don't think that you care too much. Realize that she needs more help than you can give her, and she has to decide to leave him when she's ready. Which I hope is not too late. BTW - I agree that any man that hits women, or anyone, is a coward. Dont doubt yourself, realize that she is in a place where she is so turned around she doesn't even realize that being HIT is WRONG.

Caring too much CAN be a problem, but i think you getting involved about her abusive boyfriend is completely valid. It's not caring too much. It is completely normal. In fact, if you didn't say anything about it, there would be something wrong.

know what buddy caring a lot about others just dont work out anymore.i used to care a lot about a girl and treated her like she meant the world to me and she showed her true colours.well all of them will not be the same.it is good to care but we should know where to draw the line.when we care a lot about a person we tend to get hurt and i dont think it is worth it.i completely changed after this incident and i tell myself that it is not worth it even when i tend to sway to the caring side of me.

There is such a thing as caring too much, but believe me, you're not it. Caring too much gets you into trouble (I'd know lol), but caring as much as you do, doesn't..so believe me you care just as much as you should, and the world'd probably be a better place if everyone cared like you.

hi joey, anything that is too much or too less can be a problem. Especially if th erecipient of the caring is not very appreciative. O perhaps it isn't the proper time for her to hear words of utmost concern. It can also be with the manner of how you say things.

You are not the problem. Maybe the reaction is just absurd. Caring is a good thing but as we always say, too much is always not good. But with your story I don't think that it is too much. As a friend it is natural for you to care for you love her and don't want something bad for her. She should appreciate that but maybe next time try to avoid telling something not good for the person she loves since she is reacting negatively from you comments. Stay caring and people will love you for that. Hope this helped you.

Well....I care about a lot of things and a lot of people and I am ok with that. I think that it is part of most of us to care about someone or something. It would seem that your friend is a victim of domestic violence. It seems she does not know about caring because she is not able to. We have to love/care about ourselves before we can do the same for others. Until she reaches the point where she cares about herself and realizes that she is not supposed to be hit upon, she cannot understand you caring about her. I hope that she learns soon, so many bad things happen when a person allows another to control them, hit them, etc...Hope your friend will be ok...

I agree with some of the other posters here, there is no way that you can care too much for someone. When you care about your friends and family, are concerned for their wellbeing, etc. that is a sign of what a big heart that you have. Anyone that you really, truly care about should count themselves lucky to be in your life, and they shouldn't complain about it. However, sometimes people are so emotionally insecure that they can't handle it when someone else cares. Or they are so invested in a place, person, relationship, hobby, or addiction that they cannot see when you try to point them back to the straight and narrow, and that is a reflection of them and/or the point of life that they are at, not a reflection of you. As far as caring goes, don't stop it. I think that one of the problems in this world is that people don't care enough. They don't care enough about their friends, family, strangers, the environment, animals, anything and everything. We all need things to be passionate about and caring about, I think it is good for us as people and the more we care about our fellow human beings, the more positive things it says about mankind as a race.