My 11 yr old son wets himself....

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My 11 yr old son has always had a small problem with controlling his bladder, but incidents were few and far between... 18 months ago i met a new partner and my son absolutely adores him, pushes for his attention constantly, hugs him, he also gets very upset if we exchange words, for fear of us breaking up, but whenever my partner plays with him, he urinates himself, my son loves to play with him and instigates play fights with him constantly, but whenever they start to play, it will alsmot always ends in him urinating himself, the reason for this confuses my partner and i very much, it upsets my partner immensely, as all he is doing is giving my son what he wants... when these incidents happen, the strange thing is he shows no embaressment or remorse for having soiled himself, my partner tends to go very quiet and almost feels it's his fault, when infact all he has done is give a child some attention he's asked for, i tend to get quite cross and tell them not to play if this is what is going to happen, my son will walk about in his wet clothes like it's not happened and usually try to instigate another game after a few moments, which not only makes me see this is not a problem with my partner, but a learnt behaviour my son sees no problem with ,at this point i have to point out to him he should change his clothes and stop trying to start games when he can't controll his bladder... maybe in telling him he can't controll himself i'm letting him think this is normal, i don't know, but we are both very concerned about this and i can't see a way to make this behaviour end... any ideas???